Congratulations Croatia. It was never coming home and swinging tales. I just went home.

So thats it just over 4 and a half weeks on the ale is over. The world cup has finished and congratulations to our champions Croatia. I say Croatia as alongside the world cup I have used a trusty excel sheet (Well numbers as I am a Mac snob) world cup wall chart and played my now infamous soccer dice version of the 2018 world cup. England were well more like England and got knocked out in the final 16 by Poland and lets be honest real England were not much better but with a lucky draw somehow managed to get to the semi finals. Don’t get me wrong I was made up as I managed three nights out to watch them. Last time we got to a semi final I was just 16 this time around I am 44 and at my age semi’s are a rare thing though I do believe you can get pills to sort these kind of issues out. Must enquire next time I am getting some Tena Ladies for Mrs Fay. As a man who kept singles and album charts from 1989 to around 1997 I cant believe I haven’t been holding soccer dice world cups since 1986 when I got my first set of soccer dice. Anyway you can guarantee the soccer dice world cup will now be held every four years and run alongside collecting the panini world cup stickers (Yes another full album) Anyway below is how the knockout phase worked out and as for England it was never really coming home but it was a good ride whilst it lasted.

So ita ll been happening this week with Brexit (It still wont happen) and the visit of Donald Trump. I think the picture below sums it up with Philip May thinking how come I didn’t pull a bird like the Big D ? Hoping that when the keys go into the pot later on in the evening at Chequers he might be up all night to get lucky. That reminds me of the time me and Mrs Fay started our naughty forties and were at a dinner party (I had a plain burger and chips) and it got to that time of the evening when the keys went into the bowl. Personally I was hoping it was a draw for a car and we could replace our battered Vauxhall Meriva with my mates Mercedes. But it was some kind of wife swapping game. I must admit I was very excited. No not in that way. I am always fond of a good draw and remember bunking out at lunch from Calderstones School to scoff a sneaky Sayers in the enog (Back Alleyway) behind Sayers and listen to our mini transistor radio see who Liverpool drew in the third round FA Cup Draw. So back to the car key draw. To cut a long story short me an Mrs Fay’s keys were the last two left in the tupperware bowl so we drew each other. So much for our naught forties. We left the dinner party and got the cab to stop at the garage on the way home were we both found a new partner for the remainder of the evening. I got a Twix and Mrs Fay a Fruit & Nut and we got home and had a pleasurable experience scoffing our new chocolate bar partners and then went to bed.

Some good news this week and the rescue of the Thai boys stuck down a cave. Nice to see a happy ending for once and with people going on about Englands football heroes I know who my heroes of the week are and its those divers who saved the kids but sadly lost one of their own in the rescue attempt.

So today sees another rescue attempt as I attempt to rescue my expanding waist line (after a world cup final BBQ and booze yesterday) after a massive post marathon blow out during the world cup. It will be a month until my holiday in Cyprus and I can already feel (and see) my beer gut coming back. The good news is I am still running 6 miles easily and have joined a gym so all should be good in the attempt to get my marathon figure back. But my marathon running figure is that of a fat bastard and not a very fat bastard ha ha. I haven’t bothered to step on the scales on injustice as I did not want to ruin my world cup but I stepped on them this morning and I think they have broke as the numbers are higher than I expected and the Speedo Challenge 2018 has started. Wish me luck as I will need it as I am at a family party next weekend and then away for a weekend in Glasgow to celebrate my father in law retiring so expect another of the now famous “A Cultural Review Of” blogs about our weekend in Glasgow in a fortnights time. Anyway just got the ball rolling by treating my beautiful wife to a place in The English Half Marathon on September 16th. I know I spoil her rotten. Just settling down to see what game is on tonight. What you mean its finished ? No booze and footy on a school night. Ahhh well nailed a 6 mile jog on my lunch hour and has alphabet spaghetti for tea. Back on it indeed !!


Fay x x x x x x x x x x


Happy 9th Birthday Faymondo’s Blog — Garstonbury 2018

So here we are 9 years after my first blog LINK HERE I am still churning this bollocks out and people are still reading it. People subscribe to it and most amazingly people give me nice feedback about the blog so on it goes. To think I was in my mid 30’s when I started writing this thing and now I am hurtling towards my mid 40’s. The years have seen deaths, births and divorces though not me. Well not yet but my love of The World Cup is testing things as I have hardly missed a bit of it and England progressing means another session on the ale. Today Holly my youngest I completed my 2018 Panini World Cup album to add to the full collections of World Cups and Euro’s since 2010. My world cup wall chart is getting updated nearly as soon as the games finish and this year I have been doing my own world cup with the youngest using the soccer dice though England have been already knocked out in that one and just like the real tournament it wont be coming home. Last night I was in a boozer up in Woolton (The Cobden) to watch a poor England side progress to the quarter finals and now meet another poor side in Sweden. I was made up England won though mostly to satisfy the alcoholic in me as it means another session on the ale on Saturday and who doesn’t love a bevy in this heat. I might of has enough last night as after only my third bevy the barman had got my order in and not got mine. I said “And a bottle of Merrydown as well please mate” as he then just looked at me like I had arrived off a spaceship from Mars. After an akward pause the felt like years it dawned on me that Merrydown (Cider) was a drink I used to get pissed on 30 year ago down Otterspool Prom and it was actually a Magners I wanted. Maybe that was my brain saying a week on the ale and you need to lay off it son. Things are going a bit insane in my life as yesterday we had a 4th birthday party for the dog and my 13 year old daughter has finally come down from her loft and actually speak and not grunt to Mrs Fay though sadly any advantage from this new development is fully offset by the fact they are watching Love Island together.

So the blog’s birthday was actually yesterday but the dog hogged all celebrations so a delayed celebratory post this evening. Expecting to be hung over today I had booked a day off work but actually only had about 6 pints. So I walked the dogs early before the crazy heatwave we are having kicked in with its full effect. I then had a lovely walk down Otterspool and had a breakfast outside in the sunshine and then went to the gym which I joined on Monday. As it was hot I went down to the gym in full running gear as its light and comfy to wear. When signing up the woman said are you going straight in to which I replied “Nah signing up is enough effort for one day and I need to be back for the evening footy match and finish off the bottle of vodka I have before the health kick starts” Anyway another sign was presented to me as when filling in the membership form I completed my name as Mr Fat. She pointed this out to me as she was about to give me my membership card and asked if I wanted to change it. I did tell her really that should be inspiration for me to not change it but come back in three months time and ask for it to be updated to Mr Thin but as there is no chance of that happening so Mr Fay will do. So I done about an hours cardio today in my first visit to the gym for 10 years. I would like to say it was great but it wasn’t.

The weekends highlight was a friends party names “Garstonbury” and no expense was spared and I spared my liver no expense. Dancing in the garden to “Billie Jean” at 2m on a balmy summers evening is always good. As you can see by the way the pictures are going its a case of what went on in Garstonbury stays in Garstonbury.


Final thought for the day and today I woke up with the news of kids killing kids. What the fuck is going on ? Where is all this heading ? Grim very fucking grim !!

So the observant amomgs you will notice as we enter the 10th year of the blog and extra kiss is added to the sign off and the blog has a new look. Thanks for reading and here is to year 10 of this shite.



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Fundraising review. Thank you all so very very much x x

So for non regular readers of this mighty fine blog you will not know that the first part of the year was taken up with training for the London marathon. This escalated into a three marathon challenge and Manchester was before and Liverpool after. Anyway illness meant it was just a half marathon for Liverpool but Manchester was completed BLOG HERE and so was London BLOG HERE To spur me on during those tough training moments I decided I was going to run for charity and with a friend of ours having a daughter the lovely Lois who has cerebral palsy which effects all four limbs. She is unable to walk or support herself and her ability to communicate is limited. Millstead School aims to provide the very best learning and development opportunities for children like Lois who have severe learning and mobility difficulties. The school offers a personalised learning journey for each child, including sensory environments, music sessions and learning activities that focus on developing her communication and motor and decision making skills. Lois particularly enjoys the sensory, trampoline, music and swimming sessions hosted at the school. Donations would assist the school in purchasing vital equipment and continuing to provide Lois and other children with the learning support they need.

As I write this with temperatures nudging 27c it seems along way from the training days of -2c with a windchill of nearer -10c as a couple of “The beasts from the east” hit the UK last winter. It was during some of these runs that the challenge of running for charity really helps you along knowing that you are going to do some good when my legs and freezing fat face was telling me to go home. The training went perfect as did Manchester with the heat of London (The hottest London marathon on record) adding its own problems but I achieved the goal I set myself. Fund-raising wise I had set myself a goal of £500 for the school. So as my running season ended and the fundraising page closed I emailed the school and asked if when I came in to hand the cheque over could I have a quick look around the school. The reply was great. Not only could I have a tour of the school I was asked to present the sports day medals for the kids.

So I headed in on Friday to the school and was taken on a tour around the class rooms and the amazing facilities the school has such as sensory rooms, its own swimming room and a great canteen/space for the kids. Not forgetting the outdoor area and to be honest there was a lot to take in on one visit. I wasn’t expecting the school to be so big and the number of staff involved on a day to day basis. I popped into a classroom and some of the kids were telling me on how they had been to Liverpool FC to see a game (The club is brilliant with them) It was then into the hall for the sports day presentation with classes adopting countries and performing a closing ceremony before me and my mate (Moses) who’s child attends the school gave each class their sports days medals. At least there wasn’t a George Osborne 2012 Olympic moment and I wasn’t boo’d and it was quite the opposite and I was made very welcome by all the staff and children I met. I even asked for a medal for myself as you can see in the picture below my wall of fame is ever growing with a total of 47 medals over the last few years. Today I added number 48 and if I am honest the pleasure I got from handing out those medals and some of the looks on the children faces makes the 48th medal the most special one of my collection.

So after Just Giving took their cut and I added on the monies I was passed cash in hand the final total raised for Millstead School was £1562.55 That is mind-blowing to me and thank you all very so much from the bottom of my heart. It makes the efforts of the last few months worth it. From friends and family to people connected with the school and even many donations from random followers of my @Liverpoolweath account on Twitter its a great total and one the school will put to so many good things. The school will be inviting me back again to show me what was purchased. I have said no more marathons but maybe when I am 50 in 2023 I will run the New York marathon and do some fundraising again for the school. Maybe it will go viral and I will raise enough for a whole wing to be named after me ha ha. Still feel like I missed out on a trick not having one of those giants cheques you see on Children In need though.

So thanks to Millstead school for inviting me in and to all those who donated and gave me well wishes when training etc. I have had a post marathon blow out month of June and its time to cut down the beer and munchies and get back on it. Though I have retired from full marathons (This is now the third time I have said that !!!! )


Fay x x x x x x x x x

World Cup Fever #Itscominghome (My Arse) Memories 82-14

Wake me up is it over ? It is and the “easy” path to the world cup opens up. I love the World Cup and class this as my 10th world cup as my earliest memories are from Espana 82 and its mascot which I thought was Pedro The orange but apparently its Naranjito. I remember my mum buying The England World Cup squad picture disc 7″ single “This time we’ll get it right” its 2018 and still no sign of getting it right. There is a big Scouse not English movement on Liverpool. Well I love the world cup and I support England. I have for as long as I remember been hanging a flag out of the window. That said I am not overly arsed when we get beat. Vague memories of watching the final with my dad in the front room as we had an extra TV rented for a month but they had not come to collect it on time so it stayed for the final. My auld man must not have had any faith in England getting a free trial rental for a month. The TV even had Teletext on but alas it went back and teletext didnt arrive in the Fay household until the late 80’s. Oh and England went out in some strange 2nd group phase but who didn’t love the Tango españa ball.

Mexico 86 and memories from that include a free wall chart and stickers from the local Cellar 5 off licence. My mum was in there that often buying vodka and 20 Craven A that I had wall charts coming out of my ears and had numerous sponge footy world cups in my back garden. As for the footy its laying down on the couch watching Maradona have us off and a spirited comeback but just not enough. I also remember some strange shadow on the Azteca pitch which I believe was just shadows from a speaker system ? Watched the final with my dad in ours.

Italia 90. Well 1990 the best year of my life and the best world cup of my life. I had broken up from school for my GCSE’s and it was a summer to remember. Those Italian TV graphics stick in my mind. As for England well I watched the match in my sisters with my then girlfriend as I was looking after my nephew. After shouting at the TV “Shilton wont get near any of these” I was proved right and went for a walk around the block as we got beat on penalties and then most probably came back into the house and tried to get past first base with my girlfriend. A second defeat of the evening. Didnt watch the final and played footy with my mates instead on “The Oldies” a nursing home on Victoria Road/Aigburth Vale now flats though the trees that we used for goals survived.

USA 94  Big holiday to Faliraki with about 20 of us and we would be there for the final. Living the dream oh that ended up being the one we didnea qualify for. So remember watching some matches around midnight which was boss. Diana Ross missed a sitter and watched the final in Georges bar in Falaraki. Aldo had a kick off and thats all I can remember.

France 98. Opening game Brazil v Scotland and I watched it in a bar in Times Square New York. I remember having to get uo at breakfast for an England Game. Watched England get beat on penalties by The Argies in Slaters. Bouncer turned the TV off when Owen made it 2-1 saying no throwing ale when we score (Fair shout as I have never got that) but a riot was on the cards and he quickly put the TV back on shitting himself. Was working for Ladbrokes at the time so I was getting paid to watch games. Just watched the final in my nans house where I was living at the time (Now our house)

South Korea & Japan 02. Weird times but I then worked for Liverpool City Council and they had set up a TV room as long as you logged off work for lunch. I also remember a giant screen in Williamson Square. England got beat by Brazil and you thought Shilton was poor then Seaman kept the tradition going. Watched it at about 06:30 am in a pub in Aigburth Vale. At the end of the match the chokka pub virtually emptied and me and my mates had booked a day off work so stayed on the ale. I remember playing jingles early afternoon, going the bookies about 3pm and being unable to write anything that was possible to read on a betting slip and waiting for Steves chippy to open at 4.30pm to have chips and go to bed after 10 hours on the ale. I brought my nan some surprise chips and and the next day she said I was pissed and telling her how much I love her. At least I am a lover not a fighter. Actually moved house in with my future Mrs on the final weekend and watched the final on a fuzzy colour portable TV !!

Germany 06. Even though not that long ago mot many fond memories of this. I was in The Walkabout (Why ??) when England crashed out on penalties and the winking Ronaldo. I watched the final with my dad in a sports bar on Sir Thomas Street when Zidane does his thing.

South Africa 2010 marked the return of me collecting Panini Stickers again via my eldest daughter and yes I completed the album. As for memories I was at my first Glastonbury festival and England Played Germany. What a moment I thought if we won and with all those people. Anyway Germany twatted us and as my tent was near in the end I just ended up listening to the lat bit. Just to take the piss a bit more I missed Ray Davies (Kinks), Slash and Dr John for that shite. Just watched the final in ours memorable for Howard Webb shitting a red card. Oh and Spain won a team I had been betting on since 1990 when I had to pretend I was 18 in my local William Hills when popping out on lunch from School (I was 16) but being a manboy I was fine and still down on Spain despite this win !

Brasil 2014 and another full Panini album. Ahh Roy Hodgson as a Liverpool fan I knew what was coming and he got an extension !! I need his agent to get this blog known worldwide. Only memory is falling asleep watching the Brazil v Germany match on my bed on the iPad and waking up and it was 7-0 !! I assume I watched the final in ours. Funny on how closer the world cup is the more my memory goes ?

So that it 2018 to be wrote but on checking how much my 7″ picture disc vinyl of the 1982 England World Cup Squad song ‘This time we’ll get it right” is worth (About £1) I stumbled across the album “This time” you tube video below. I thought Diamond Lights was Glenn Hoddle’s first venture into music but check out 08:38 “We are the champions” by Glen Hoddle was. Ray Clemance tells the story of “The Road To Spain” at 20:02. But the highlight lowlight is at 24:00 with Viv Anderson & Trevor Francis with a rendition of “You’ll Never Walk Alone” wow. I am gonna have to get a copy of this for my vinyl collection though imagine what the neighbours would think when I am blasting it out whilst working.

Random thought for the day “France’s Macron brings back national service and you have to put a Bakewell Tart on yer head”



Fay x x x x x x x x x



My Fantasy Glastonbury 2018

So today Glastonbury would have kicked off for real if it wasn’t for it being a fallow year and we all have eyes on a Sunday in October for the great Glastonbury 2019 ticket hunt. Trying not to worry about it at the end of the day if its not on its not on. But there is a giant hole in the beginning of my summer and the weather gods have been great this year with a dry run up and what would have been a dry festival itself. So I decided to fo my fantasy Glastonbury. Now before you all go no Pink Floyd it is bands I like or ones I would like to see live. I missed out on the getting stoned listening to Pink Floyd as a teenager phase so they aint playing. I decided to limit it to four stages and that was tough enough. I have no doubt missed out some glaring errors. I got to the end and double checked my iTunes, spotify playlists and vinyl collection and I had missed out David Bowie !! So here it is for you to argue and laugh about.





West Holts

John Peel

The Beatles

Daft Punk

Michael Jackson

Massive Attack

Bob Marley

Stone Roses



Neil Diamond

Pet Shop Boys

Solomon Burke

Publice Service Broadcasting

Jools Holland


Donna Summer

Imelda May

Norah Jones

Charles Bradley

Pink Martini

The Milk


The Christians

Baby Huey



David Bowie

The Jam








Johnny Cash

Earth Wind & Fire

Fun Lovin Criminals


The Shamen

Grace Jones


Cat Stevens

Paul Heaton & Jacqui Abbott

Soul II Soul


Sheryl Crow


Stan Getz

Smoove & Turrell


The Clash



Plan B



Chemical Brothers


Guns N Roses

The Farm

Ray Charles

Django Django




Nick Drake

Seasick Steve


Dr John

Stereo MC’s

Deacon Blue

Tea Street Band

Terence Tent D’arby


So there we have it and many big names left out but if they are not on my playlists then no slot.  Artists that came close were Madness, Otis Redding, The KLF (Though did they ever play live ?) Eric Bibb, Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Lionel Ritchie, Elton John, George Michael, Eminem and a few smaller artists Louis Berry, The Lucid Dream and local lad Ali Ingle to name a few. I decided that you could only appear once E.G no Beatles and John Lennon separate. So the closest I get to Glastonbury is next weekend a friend of ours is holding her annual Garstonbury in her back garden in Garston. Normally at the real thing so have not been to a Garstonbury before. Will I rock up in my festival gear ? Will I let myself get as trollied as I do in Glastonbury ? Hmmm not sure I can let my hair down that much. Such is the magic of Glastonbury I can be myself there and dont feel out of place. Anyway if I make a twat of myself at Garstonbury I will be sure to blog about it.

I will leave you with a few pictures of Glastonbury 2010 to 2017 and look forward to being back down on the farm in 2019.

So a flavour of the 7 Glastonbury Festivals I have been to (Click on an image for a larger version) So many highlights and some lowlights. My eldest daughter who was 12 came with us last year (She was free) and wants to come in 2019 (Will have to pay full whack for her) so thats a no.


Fay x x x x x x x x x

A retirement announcement

So after two 5k’s, two 10k’s, two half marathons and two marathons the running season closes in a fortnight with The Port Sunlight 10k. If you add the training on top of the races thats nearly 600 miles since the start of November. Its been a long old slog and come the end I was near to breaking point. Well what a relief it was on Wednesday to finally be playing footy again. It was my first game since September when I limped off with an achilles tendonitis injury. Playing in my old school gym at Calderstones School it was time to show off my new fitness levels and be like Jan Molby but on speed. All going well and 7 mins in I feel a pain in my achilles. Surely fucking not. Surely fucking was. An injury I first picked up in June 2017 rested over the summer for it to go second game back in September and then rested again and all that running went Ok it was quite obvious that the achilles tendonitis injury was not up the the strains of football. Luckily I was kept on at the specialist to see how I was after all my marathon running and I tried playing footy again so I see him next Friday to see what can be done but discussions last time hinted I would have to stop all exercise to fix it or stop playing footy. It was with a sad heart that on Twitter at 08:05pm On Wednesday May 30th I announced my retirement from all forms of football. It wasn’t long before the Sky Sports news breaking news ticker picked up on the news. I had to take the dogs our for a walk. One dog didn’t want to go past the end of the street so I limped around the block in the pouring rain with the other dog. What an end to a glorious career. I consoled myself by having a chippy tea but had to drive the 5 min walk to the chippy.

(Lifted from Wikipedia) Neil George Fay born in Mill Road hospital, Liverpool on September 18th 1973. He first started playing for Sudley Juniors B team in 1982 (Age 9) as a centre forward. The team won the South Liverpool schools league but got beat in the city final.  1983 seen promotion to the A Team and was breaking records as a striker due to his technical skills and ability Mainly because he was a man boy and could hit the ball very hard for my age. Again the South Liverpool league title was won and this time defeat in the semi finals on penalties. Young Fay had burst down the right wing and unselfishly squared the ball to the substitute at 1-1. Sadly due to only having 10 outfield tops the sub still had his top half over his head and missed. Next up was Sunday League and a debut for Aigburth Peoples Hall under 12’s. Progressing to the under 13’s that season he lost a cup final played at the old South Liverpool ground (Is he unluckier than Klopp ? ) a second final that season seen him come on at half time and help win the cup for Aigburth Peoples Hall. History will say Aigburth Peoples Hall won but it wont say that at half time the keeper was playing worse than Karuis so on came “Big Fay” and kicking down the hill “Man Boy’s” punts helped them win The Tim Fortescue cup final. I was to be the last thing Fay won and to top if off when he was older he found out that Tim Fortescue was was the Conservative Member of Parliament (MP) for Liverpool Garstonfrom 1966 to 1974. Needless to say the trophy I won stays in the loft tainted by being a Tory trophy. Might as well be sponsored by The Sun as well to heap evil upon it. Fay ended up playing against a young Robbie Ryder a few years younger than him. Ryder scored five and my dad said he will make it him and he did as Robbie Fowler. Sadly Fay’s contract was not extended for The Aigburth Peoples Hall under 14’s as he was deemed not good enough for the squad ?? So he ended up playing for the under 15’s instead (Work that one out) The next highlight in Fay’s career was playing for Calderstones School under 18’s and getting beat in the city final played at Mellwood. Next up a small spell with Fullwood FC and his Rudi Voller moment getting a red card for spitting and a 3 month ban due to the AIDS fear at the time. The chance of a shag at 16 would have been great never mind catching AIDS. The ban was reduced to 28 days on appeal and was a shameful moment in Fay’s history. A few years later and Fay signed for the newly formed Sudley FC scoring their first ever goal played at Netherley Comp and we all had white t-shirts on as we were awaiting a kit. As Sudley morphed into The Inglenook FC they never got near winning anything and Fay was now building a reputation for his off field activities at The 051, Cream and Garlands. Highlights from his sunday league years were scoring from a corner when being told to shoot (It was windy) and scoring a penalty as a goalkeeper. Two more red cards followed in this spell card 2 was when in goal he wiped out a striker about 35 yards out when it was one on one and 2-2 in the game. Sudley went onto win the cup match 3-2 and the club paid his fine. A third and final red card was when 3-0 down he thought he would get his team going and hit somebody late to gee the team up. A bit too late and a straight red. the team lost about 7-0 but Fay missed a second half Monsoon staying dry in The Sudley Field Changies. Indeed Fay never missed a penalty in his first class career ending up about 15/15. Ending his career in his late 20’s to focus on overtime in work Fay’s last highlight was to be selected for The Liverpool Council Housing Benefit team to play the Council Tax section mainly because he was an auld arlarse who would stay at the back and let the skilful young ones do the running. Into his 30’s and the odd charity game and indoor and astro games the curtain finally came down on his career age 44 and 7months due to a persistent achilles injury ironically when he was at his most fittest he had ever been in his life.  Below is young Fay in the Sudley Juniors B Team photo.



Back Row (Lowe, Drakely (Now a Tory Councillor) Roberts, Big Fay, Wignell, Finch, Norcott, Deane)

Front Row (Lloyd, Houghton, Bradley, Ashton, Hughes)

As the tributes poured in on Wednesday night after only 30 mins after my retirement announcement I had received two offers t be a pundit for the Liverpool Zingari league and an endorsement offer from Sayers. The match report from my final game gave me 8/10 as despite having one leg I still scored 6 goals and we won. Already skint I will be auctioning off my signed Adidas Astro’s and also selling my Tim Fortescue cup final winning trophy. Perhaps I can sell it to a rich Tory ? Sadly on Thursday the news broke that Frank Lampard has beaten me to the managerial job at Derby County. This means I am still manager of Stoke City on Football Manager on the iPad in The Championship in 2023/24.

Highlight marrying the Sudley FC managers daughter !! Scoring 3 for Sudley Juniors vs St Michaels on my birthday and a few weeks later scoring 5 against Booker Avenue.

Lowlights getting sent off for spitting and not shooting when the kid had his top half on in the semi.

I loved playing footy. Perhaps walking footy is the future for me though many pundits have said i have been playing waling footy since around 1998 !

Here is The B team after defeat in the City Final. A picture tainted in sadness as the young boy on the left with blonde hair is Phil Hammond who sadly lost his life at Hillsborough age 13. He was a year below in school but a good player and often played for our teams up front with me. The Gym at Calderstones where I played my last game is called The Phillip Hammond gym. Rest In Peace mate x


Fay x x x x x x x x x

29th May 1985 vs 2019

29th May 1985. I was 12. I had rushed home from senior school and changed into my European Cup t-shirt had my LFC sweatbands on and a trusty Liverpool hat. I would have then got my sponge footy out and then played the European Cup final in my back garden ensuring that Liverpool came out victorious. It was then time to have tea on the patio which was sausages roll, chips and beans and it would have been that last hour before the match coverage was due to start on the television that seemed to last an eternity. I remember the match being delayed and then seeing some footage. I knew that people had died but its something a 12 year old mind cant get his head around and amazingly the match went ahead. I remember being a bit down that Liverpool didn’t win. A dodgy penalty but in reality it mattered not one fucking bit. Fast forward to 29th May 2018 now age 43 and the whole horror of that night I fully understand. My thoughts are with the families involved and not much more needs to be said around the dark stain on Liverpools history. 39 lives wasted, many many more affected as the memorial stone says “In memoria e Amicizia”

29th May 2018 and with the weather still nice I finished work early and went for a nice walk around Sefton Park. After listening to one general sports podcast and three footballs podcasts there wasn’t much more to say over Saturdays final and as the opening paragraph of this blog shows it is after all only a game. Anyway walking around the lake in Sevvy Park there were two fella’s about 50 who were sitting off on the grass bank overlooking the lake. Fella 1 “40 years I have known yer” Fella 2 ” I don’t do selfies” Fella 1 ” Come on la” and then takes a photograph Fella 2 “Giz a look. Told you I don’t do selfies its shite” It’s great walking around Sefton Park in the sunshine. It is however mad that I do not remember any summers from my younger days. I just remember life was clubbing Thursday to Saturday. Bed on Sunday after the final sit off finished. Come Wednesday I was back alive and all ready get back on on Thursday night. Now I appreciate a lovely sunny day walking in one of the greatest parks in the world. With age comes wisdom. I do remember a day in Sevvy Park back in 1990 when I ripped my beloved Soul II Soul t-shirt climbing down from a tree. 1990 the start of it all now an amazing 28 years ago. In 28 years time I will be 72 !! I will be made up just to have the ability to walk around Sevvy Park but on the plus side my Soul II Soul t-shirt wont be getting ripped. Thats assuming I am still here.

So the sights were out in Sefton Park and just the you think one of the “lids” having his hands down his black trackie bottoms is bad then today in the glorious sunshine of Sefton Park a “lid” was pulling off the same hand trick but down his shorts with his top off. That was bordering being a sexual offence ! Speaking of sexual offenders once I reached Aigburth Vale a young scally got off the 60 bus and asked “Excuse me do you know where the fair is” (Nice manners though) I replied “Do I fucking look like a nonce” of course I didn’t I gave him detailed route and told him it was about 15 mins away. A mad memory of a fair came flooding back to me and I think it was one in Carlisle and “London Nights” by The London Boys was blaring out. It was one of my first tastes of freedom and I thought I had arrived and to be honest finding the music of The London Boys I probably had. Sadly The London Boys are no longer with us after dying in a car crash in 1996 and I confess to having their album on cassette in the loft. Haven’t quite got around to getting it on vinyl yet.


Fay x x x x x x x x x

GDPR harassment and a blackout in my house at last

So last Sunday was the last of my marathon trilogy. Well that was until I got ill on the Bank Holiday (7th May) thus causing me to downgrade to the Liverpool RnR Half marathon. That in itself was the hardest half marathon I have done and I am still the proud owner of an 0898 number husky style voice though any sickness sympathy from Mrs Fay was soon reduced to zero. With two miles to go I wanted to stop running having never had this before in a half (Normally have a strong finish in me) I put it down to illness and that with all the running this year my body was telling me “Time to give it a rest piearse” There will be a separate blog when my just giving pages closes in early June with the final total etc and I will go in and visit the school I am raising money for.

As I type this I have received another email on my ymail account that I always use when buying stuff etc to leave my other email account free of shite. Well its all in the name of GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation) so instead of getting a weekly email from The Linen Cupboard (I have neither bought linen or a cupboard never mind a cupboard specifically for linen) I am now getting one email a day of the bastards. With my secondary email normally getting quite a lot of rubbish the ironic thing is that with this GDPR I am getting more shite emails than ever. Its like a torture tempting me just to remain on their mailing list just to stop my phone (and also watch) from buzzing away. So whilst I have started to write this blog and we enter the final hours of GDPR I have email from Betway, Live Nation, Hot Water Comedy Club, Build A Bear, Sphero and Readers Wives. Oh Ok I resubscribed to the readers wives one !! Luckily none of my children have replied to their GDPR emails meaning that there will no no further contact with them. I have also not replied to the one Mrs Fay sent me. So once this final torture is out of the way I expect my emails to calm down (Apart from readers wives) yeah like that will really happen.

All eyes to Saturday and The Champions League final. This time around I had no intention of going as it was such a pain in the arse place to get to and being a full on part timer now the golden ticket hunt would have been just as hard. But the fans will make it there even if their flights get cancelled which is what has happened to three flights today. Now some cruel Evertonain’s where laughing away on Twitter which I thought was bang out of order. But then I remembered the time when Mrs Fay and her mates had been going on for ages on how they were going to see Robbie Williams in a lovely small venue in Paris. On and on they went and the eventually left by coach to head to the gig. Anyway by the time they had got to Dover Blobby Williams had called a sickie and the gig was off. Oh how me and my mate chuckled via text as his wife had been going on and on about it as well. So yeah I am just as bad as the Evertonian’s amused at the misfortune of some Liverpool fans.

After 5 years and 9 months we finally have curtains in the bedroom. It has been that long that the original orange street light bang outside the window on my side of the bed (Mrs Fay sleeps by the door to protect me) had been changed for a white one. With the sun now blazing in around 5am I have found myself waking early along with getting to that age when you have had a bevy and you cant make it through the night without having to get up for a piss. Oh the joys of the 40’s. I cant wait for the 50’s and a finger up my bum and piss pot by my bed !! So last night I went to bed in darkness. It was that dark that Mrs Fay couldn’t even see me so she can pretend I am Robbie Williams now. Anyway I had that good a night sleep I slept in until my final alarm went off at 7.30am. I have normally started work by 7am in recent weeks. So the blackout curtains might not be good for my flexi time but sleeping like a baby was great.

So another email from Betway received and a new one from The free postcode lottery !! On the plus side confirmation I am still on the readers wives mailing list. Now to retire to my newly darkened bedroom and too much information already typed here.


Fay x x x x x x x x x

Proof reading this (I still let loads slip through) The Entertainer and Clearscore have emailed me. Just make this stop aghhhhhhhhh

Emoji’s and Ketwig Of The Year

So local elections this week and I had a bit of spare time on my hand and thought I better put my money were my mouth was and instead of sounding off on Twitter actually do something. So I volunteered to deliver some leaflets for Labour in the Liverpool ward of St Michaels and ended up having a nice walk off the streets of Lark Lane. Now I do love a good election and election coverage so lied down on my bed to watch the Arsenal game and fell asleep by 8.20pm. All this running must be catching up on me and two weeks tomorrow will be the last bastard 3rd marathon of my trilogy. Staying with politics an also trilogies (The links are seamless here you know) and it was May the 4th yesterday AKA Star Wars day for those people with a speech impediment. Gary Barlow proudly posted a picture of himself when he played a rebel x-wng fighter. Barlow a well known Tory tax dodger was obviously testing my jedi training. Having lost over two stone since January I had to give up the Jabba The Hutt role and seeing this picture was bringing out the dark side in me. All I could think abut was Darth May and fearing what will happen if she stays in power. As well all know “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads to suffering” and boy have we suffered !

Having missed the live election coverage on Sky News I caught up with it all the next morning and there were no major headlines to report. In fact the only thing to report was the reporting. Sky had invested big in their on screen graphics and decided to use emoji’s. I mean what the actual fuck. Are people incapable of reading numbers now for results ? I wonder if there was the same fuss made by my dad when the old “Swingometer” was brought in years ago ? Anyway I hope Sky News keep there emoji’s for their Royal Wedding coverage and have an angry face and a few poo emoji’s on the go.


Certain adverts stick in your mind and I spent yesterday singing the chorus to a song. I need to start playing the postcode lottery so that when some Z list celeb knocks at my door to tell me I have won I can say “Claire were off to Ibiza” and then do a side foot jump in the air whilst holding an oversized cheque. “Someone knocking at the door, somebody ringing a bell, someone’s knocking at the door, somebody’s ringing the bell (Who is it ? A Lib Dem candidate) Do me a favour, open the door and tell them to do one”

In my best Trevor McDonald voice “And finally” Yesterday at Liverpool Crown Court Phil Spector’s grandson Joshua Byrne age 19 from Kirkby was jailed for smuggling drugs. Police had to book £2500 worth of overtime to conduct an extra search in Bryne’s hair. Byrne who had recently won the Ketwig of the year award for 2017 also had to give up a family of sparrows nesting in his hair. Can you just imagine being off yer head and phoning out for some extra gear at 5am on a Sunday morning and he turns up with that barnet. It would be enough for you to think you know what I am seeing strange hair on people I think its time to take it easy and “just say no” and go home. It’s been a cracking weekend Jim but I think I will take the money and let somebody else have a go.

My running season continues and today was The Liverpool Spring 5k been in the form of my life I was attacking a Personal Best and started like a pro about 4 deep from the start line. Anyway I got around in 23:20 gun time and a respectable 62nd out of 1202. Now I am classed as a veteran (Male age 40-44) I came 6th in my class out of 56. But I earned my first gold medal as when I collected my XL post race tshirt I asked the lady was I first to finish in the XL size and she said yes. Champion of the fatties. That will do me and the worst thing about it is that the XL still doesn’t fit me ha ha. Time for a post race beer and early night as I go for a sub 50min 10 tomorrow in The Liverpool Spring 10k.


Fay x x x x x x x x x

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