David Lourdes Gym

No blog last night as I ended up having a few drinks in ours and I do not blog under the influence. Now I have a shameful confession to make. Last night I actually bought a lower strength lager and enjoyed it. For my sins it was Stella Artois 4%. Now we all know the original “Uri Geller” is a drink with magical powers and is often referred to as wife beater ! Stella Artois is commonly known as dishwater on the continent but has been magically marketed over here as “re-assuringly expensive” !! Abroad it is une biere la piss. So I had six cans of 4% Stella or Stella Tart-tois as it should be called. No wife beater powers. The only thing it made me demolish were two packs of Seabrooks crisps and a twix. Ended up played Ashes cricket on the playstation3 and me and Mr Airey drew 1-1. On the bright side when I was up at 7.30 with the kids I felt fine and went to the park with my niece and nephew about 10. I will kill the rest of the tart-tois tonight and that will be that. I wonder if my downgrade in alcoholic percentage is the top of a slippery slope that ends up in 30 years time as slippers and pipe. Or in my dads case, plaster cast and 200 duty free ciggies ?

So after a lunch time snooze I felt refreshed and went over the gym. Second time and two games of footy this week so the new regime has started well despite what looks like beer Fri, Sat and Sun! I was doing my 2.5km on the rowing machine which looks over the car park the David Lloyd gym when again I noticed what seemed to be a perfectly able bodied person drive away from a disability spot. The disability spots in David Lloyd are the prime spots in the car park. Often a busy times you can find yourself a good couple of mins walk away from the gym entry. Now I know this person might of had a disability but I have seen this too many times at this gym. If you have a disability then I suggest you join the Speke David Lloyd. The healing powers are quite amazing. More often than not its disabled customers come out of the gym and drive away in their cars healed. Not only that the quality of cars they have is very good indeed, often driving away in those large cars that have no real reason to be on the road. You know the ones. The ones that block the entire school run because mum has run the kids to school and she has never been behind the wheel of a monster truck before. My row takes about 11 mins. Now there was not only one disabled miracle today but a second occured. This time it was disabled bay 1. This is the creme de la creme of parking spots in the gym. This miracle was special because there were three girls about 25 years old. I am gonna be fair and assume all three were disabled when they went into the gym but all came out cured. From now on I think I will call my gym David Lourdes gym.


So came back from the gym and had a pizza park gym. Now there is some twisted logic somewhere in doing an hours cardio and coming home and having a pizza park tea and six cans of tart-tois. If you find it feel free to tell me in the comments section. I sat in the conservatory to watch the Newcastle game. Now in a handy pop up on my mac as its live on BBC. Then came the local boys doing their best to make my little piece of Garston into Brands Hatch. Now I do not have any problem with the kids playing on motor bikes etc (As long as they do not come into our road as the Dutch farm field at the back of ours is a better place to ride.) We indeed as kids played on a moped on Sudley field for a bit trying to break the Aigburth land speed record of 16mph downhill. The difference today is that the 2000 version of the moped which has slightly more power than a Toni & Guy hairdryer sound like they have the power of Donald Campbell’s “Bluebird.” Just because they sound like a jet plane it does not mean that it has any more chance of breaking that 19 year old Aigburth land speed record set on Sudley Field (16.2 mph.) Oh well thats another Victor Meldrew rant over. Off to drink some Stella 4%, bang UK gold on and watch endless repeats of The Bill in my slippers, light up my pipe and have some werthers originals.



Fay x


6 thoughts on “David Lourdes Gym

  1. That Gym also has amazing powers to make children disappear.

    I watch people getting into there cars (parked in the parent and child spaces) and feel an overwhelming desire to ask them if they have either lost there children or just simply forgotten about them ..

    You make your own mind up !!!

  2. You have assumed they were phsically disabled which by all accounts they were probably not.

    But they could quite possibly have been mentally disabled and therefore a different type of raspberry.

  3. When I hit 40 I suddenly had an overwhelming urge to revisit “Brown Mix” – Mann’s Brown Ale (2.8%) over Mild (approx 3.4%). We used to drink this as poor students in the 80’s. Like you, I thought I was on the slippery slope. Luckily it was just a phase & I realised that some things are best left in the past. Drink your 4% & enjoy. You will know when the time is right to step it back up another percent, & I don’t think you will be ordering a mobility scooter anytime soon!

  4. I went to Asda to get a few slabs of Tyskie and they didnt have any. Need to find a decent shop by ours that does slabs of the stuff.

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