Review of blogs 2009 September.

September 2009

Thursday brought a lie in until 8.15. First knock at the door was the man from British gas who was around to fix a leak on the boiler. All sorted but he put some sealant  in the system which means we have to have the heating on twice a day. Thats a bonus for Mrs Fay who has wanted the heating on anyway but I have said no as I am warm enough sitting around in my scruff of shorts and a footy top. When the heating goes on I think I will have to sit in my Solomon grundies with my moobs out. Not a pretty sight if any visitors come around. So 1.20 and a trip to Garston job centre and time to sign on. The first impression of two security guards on the door is not the most welcoming sight. So I was sat down and awaiting my interview or whatever they call it. There was a certain atmosphere in the place and on listening in to conversations a large majority of them were ending in the word “lad.” I spotted quite a few lacoste badges on display and one woman with a skin head who looked menacing. Now I know she could have been ill but I assure you this was a hard skinhead not an illness one. The place reminded me of the Mos Eisley space bar in Star Wars which was described by Obi-Wan Kenobi as “a wretched hive of scum and villainly” Well this new Jedi to benefits was welcome to get out alive from the Garston jobby. Its back there again on the 10th when hopefully I will be able to tell them I am signing off. This time I will take a chewbacca to give me back up in case things kick off. So thats that I am officially on the dole point of note the people who worked there were very nice. On my way out I was waiting for the Cantina band to strike up.

So we got out our of our pits at a decent time of just before 12. Colin had left for his first DJ gig at a bar. We had planned to go to this but were in no fit state. We managed to sway down to the pool and had a beer as that was the best option available. There wasnt much sun on Saturday but all three of us were thankful as we were already 3 balls of sweat. It was time for sleep two from 3 to 5. Woke up a bit refreshed and time for food. So we went down to Kanya for a light bite to eat and struggled back to our apartments were it was soon time for bed again. Colin was leaving for his gig at Bar M. So that was the second gig out of three we had missed. The alarms went and it was 11pm. Time to head of to Space. For a fraction of time when I looked at the clock I thought I can really stay in bed here. But considering we had missed two gigs and this is what we came for I dragged myself out of my pit and put my disco clobber on and off to Space it was. We met friends John and Clare outside Space. Colin had informed us we needed ID to get in and we all had our passports. Nobody had informed John but luckily they accepted bank cards and we were in on the guest list VIP style (Thanks Colin) Then it was take the piss time number 2. Although we had saved 45 euros getting in as we were on the guest list. We went to get a beer. Shock horror it was 10 euros for a drink. We had to bite the bullet and pay. Two rooms out of the three were open for the Hed Kandi night at space. The club lived up to all of its expectations. It really is different from normal clubs and the atmosphere was great. I assume this was due to all the pardon the pun space cadets in there. So we got our vip bands and it was off to the VIP area. Scott tried to put his band on. They were like hospital bands but after a few mins Scott had noticed that the fastener was broke. Me and Mo were in bouts of laughter but Scott managed eventually to get past the VIP bouncer. the main room was bouncing complete with drummer and a fella on the sax. There were also male and female dancers in the club and the females were top knotch dancers ;0). Take the piss number 3 was that a bottle of small water was 7 euros. We tried to fill one up in the toilet but the cheeky bastards had the taps filled with salt water. So Colin finished his set at 6.30 and the sun was rising again as we got a taxi home.  The taxi driver was female and was on her  phone the entire 25 mins home. We were all glad to gat home in one piece as the Spanish love their roundabouts and were were very close to hitting a few as she juggled the phone , steering wheel and gearstick between her two hands. Another magical night in Ibiza and time for bed.

So Friday morning I decided to take Charlotte over the gym for a swim. She loves swimming and I love sitting in the baby pool with the other mothers, only there were not any yesterday. There was some action in the big pool though. It was the over 60’s water aerobics. Some big choons from the 60’s playing and whole host of fluffy cloud heads could be seen bopping up and down from my view in the baby pool. Now I look forward to my old age. Wandering into town, starting around Slater St. Working my way around to the blob and those boozers by Clayton Square. You know the ones that are rockin at 12pm. I would most probably get the bus back more local then for a few before heading back home and Mrs Fay would have my tea on the table. Sounds like a plan to me. If all you women have to look forward to is “cloud head” water aerobics and some flower arranging then I think we men are onto a winner. Another advantage for men is that the main down side to getting old is that our hair falls out. Mine has been anyway so the quicker the better. The more bald you go the more time you spend on keeping it neat and short. Its like a perverse law that one. Back to women though. Two words “The change.”  Open that window, close that window, open that window I am hot again etc etc etc. No wonder I will be bailing down to town for a pint to get out of the way. I wonder if the change sets off hormones that will turn many womens hair grey and then develop in to that fluffy grey hair which I term “cloud head” ? Time to get some money and do a university study on it. Who doesnt know a cloud head ?

From the BBC web site : A large stretch of Australia’s east coast, including the largest city Sydney, has been shrouded in red dust blown in from the desert outback. Visibility in Sydney was so bad that flights were diverted and harbour ferry traffic disrupted. Landmarks such as the Opera House were obscured, and many residents took to wearing masks. Imagine if this had happened in Liverpool. First up you know the council cleaners would instantly go on strike and Liverpool would be orange for weeks. I estimate that about 15 – 20 % of the population would go missing. This would be in the age range of 16 – 30 and female. The last reported sightings from worried parents would be ” Our Mercedes went to the sun bed shop love and we have not seen here since.” Police would be out looking for the white eyes of these young girls as they have blended into the dust storm like a chameleon. The economy would receive a boost as hundreds of pairs of pyjama’s would have to be replaced. Thats assuming these young ladies wear a pair for going out and a pair to sleep in otherwise there are going to be a lot of sweaty orange “boxes” roaming the streets. I was gonna use minge there but do not wish to offend anybody. Anyway after the dust was finally cleaned 6 months on by the street cleaners who in the end received bonuses bigger than the bankers received in years gone by. Martial law was rescinded and Liverpool was back to normal. Lets hope that the dunes at Freshfields dont get whipped up by a storm or I will be getting called Nostradamus.


Review of blogs 2009 July/Aug

A review of July’s & August’s blogs


Only one thing to blog about today. I miss you Michael x x

For as much as it hath pleased Almighty God of his great mercy to take unto himself the soul of our dear brother here departed, we therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life, through our Lord Jesus Christ; who shall change our vile body, that it may be like unto his glorious body, according to the mighty working, whereby he is able to subdue all things to himself.

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough For The Living
Make A Better Place For You And For Me

Well if you fell for that get a fucking grip. As Sky News tend to say now “And in other news today”

My Sayers idea whilst scoffing a sausage roll on my dinner today was when its Radio City’s give a child a chance weekend I was gonna try and organise a sponsored sausage roll crawl. I was thinking of getting Radio City onboard along with Sayers. Good publicity for both. I was gonna start at Bootle strand and work my way into town. I plan to go to every Sayers in town before heading out the south end finishing off in Speke. The plan would be to get sponsorship by setting an online page up. I could also collect donations on the day. I could tweet and update on facebook throughout the day and also Radio City could give updates and do an outside broadcast and even one up the tower with me munching one from the branch at the bottom of the tower. Before Radio City bought that I was gonna buythat as my house after I won the lottery. All back to mine after the 051. Great view and Sayers underneath. Sayers would have to provide me one small sausage roll in each shop. I was gonna walk so 9am start in Bootle. This would help offset possibly the largest single calorific intake in one day of my life. I think I might email Sayers and pitch it to them. It would be quite ironic if I was to become the sausage roll man of Liverpool.

What a shitty days weather. Its meant to be the middle of July but the weather is like October. On the bright side I am off to Spain with the family tomorrow so I hope it pisses down for the next week. The forecast is looking in my favour. Elizabeth was getting a few things ready for the holiday and decided to put a CD on. She only put on Now Thats What I Call Christmas. Driving home for Christmas was the offending song. That was enough to send me the offy for six cans of bud to ease myself into holiday mode. Its such a joy leaving work for a week even if I did have to stay until 4pm to make my flexi leave. Just been converting some DVD’s for Elizabeth to put on her ipod touch. Now at the age of five I think I owned a prized cassette player. I had such cutting technology as either hold the thing up to tape some Boney M jukebox singles or go for the tape the charts of the radio option. Both required a fair degree of luck that your mother wouldnt walk in the room and speak during recording. Ahh the memories of the late 70’s and early 80’s. The joys of being allowed in my parents room to watch the black and white portable as a treat to watch “Thats Life” on a Sunday night. The next giant leap was uprading our binatone pong game for a ZX Spectrum. The walkman was next on the scence and the mid 80’s brought us high speed dubbing. You could record tape to tape at half the time !!! Handy for making copies of Genesis “Invisible Touch.” Who would of thought that I would end up with a phone like the Iphone 3GS. A long way from my first cassette player. I cant even begin to think what I will be buying in another 25 years. I wonder if being 60 then I will have slipped into I cant possibly work thease things mode ?


I finished the weekend off by having a few beers on Sunday night and trying a beer called Tyskie which was recommended by @happytyskie on Twitter. I noticed that the local late shop had started stocking 500ml cans so I bought two to taste on Sunday. Now the first thing that struck me is that the alcohol percentage of the drink is 5.6%. I must admit this was worrying me because if you go over 5% for a beer you can normally taste it. Here is a little extract about Tyskie I found on the net.


Tyskie is a brand of beer from Poland. It is manufactured in Tychy by the Kompania Piwowarska company, a subsidiary of SABMiller. It is currently one of the best selling brands of beer in Poland, with a share of over 14.7% of the Polish market in September 2004 (AC Nielsen). The brewery was founded in 1629 and is said to have produced beer constantly ever since.

Gronie continuous a centuries’ long tradition of beer brewing at Tychy, dating back to 17th century. Gronie’s enthusiasts appreciate most of all its mild hop aroma, golden colour and the thick, white head. This beer’s exquisite taste and aroma excel among Polish beers of similar type.

Extract: 11.7 percent. Alcohol: 5.6 percent

So after a lunch time snooze I felt refreshed and went over the gym. Second time and two games of footy this week so the new regime has started well despite what looks like beer Fri, Sat and Sun! I was doing my 2.5km on the rowing machine which looks over the car park the David Lloyd gym when again I noticed what seemed to be a perfectly able bodied person drive away from a disability spot. The disability spots in David Lloyd are the prime spots in the car park. Often a busy times you can find yourself a good couple of mins walk away from the gym entry. Now I know this person might of had a disability but I have seen this too many times at this gym. If you have a disability then I suggest you join the Speke David Lloyd. The healing powers are quite amazing. More often than not its disabled customers come out of the gym and drive away in their cars healed. Not only that the quality of cars they have is very good indeed, often driving away in those large cars that have no real reason to be on the road. You know the ones. The ones that block the entire school run because mum has run the kids to school and she has never been behind the wheel of a monster truck before. My row takes about 11 mins. Now there was not only one disabled miracle today but a second occured. This time it was disabled bay 1. This is the creme de la creme of parking spots in the gym. This miracle was special because there were three girls about 25 years old. I am gonna be fair and assume all three were disabled when they went into the gym but all came out cured. From now on I think I will call my gym David Lourdes gym.

Charlotte my youngest daughter went for her two year old check up. Everything was fine but she was on one the 91st percentile for her weight. Now she is a bonny baby but I would not call her fat, however her older sister Elizabeth (5 in 2 weeks) said before ” your the best mummy in the world, your the best daddy in the world and your the fattest sister in the world” Sisterly love eh.

I left the council this is how it started. It was Wednesday 3rd January 2001 when I went to the municipal office to start my new job in Benefits. I managed to get into benefits football after work on the Thursday. Only 10 minutes had gone when I trod on the ball and that was the ankle ligaments gone, the first of numerous benefits injuries on the Eldonian astro pitch (Ankle ligaments, infected knee, thigh strain, knocking myself out and getting whiplash and the finally a knee cartilage that required surgery) So Friday I phoned in sick and the following Monday it was crutches on the 82 bus to finish off my 2 weeks training. It was then straight in at the deep end and assessing in Tinlings building on Sue Kenny’s team with my new work colleagues and the fleas and mice

So fresh from a few pints in the Excelsior on Friday evening as the planned cricket final we were going to was cancelled with weather being so shite as usual it was Saturday and that was party day for the girls (mainly Elizabeth.) Due to health and safety olbigations (I was the Unison health and safety rep at one point for the council) it was necessary for me to test all sausage rolls, mini sausages and crisps that were gonna be consumed at the birthday party. As an ex H&S rep I had to make sure I had at least two of each for quality control purposes. Everything tasted fine so the food was ok to serve to the kids. The venue for the part was St Marys church hall on St Mary’s road Garston. It was your typical church hall with wooden beams in the roof and a stage at one end. It had a massive kitchen and oven which was great to prepare the food. I also had to H&S check the chocolate cornflake cakes and sponge cakes. The hall had a back games room which had your traditional musty smell. We had the normal cheesy DJ with the classics coming out “I am a music man” ” Cha cha slide” and the anthem with Mcdonalds , Kentucky Fried chicken and a Pizza Hut in the lyrics. Whatever song that is called. I think my version would be Burger King, Sayers and Pizza Park Garston in my big fat gut. The party went well with all the kids enjoying themselves in what seemed like two hours of random chaos. We brought the cakes out for both birthday girls and come to think of it I have not had any yet although 9am on a Sunday morning is early by even my standards for some cake. Elizabeth’s is below.

A Peppa Pig Christmas.

So it twas Christmas Eve 2009 and a quick trip to Clitheroe to pick up father feck. Elizabeth joined me on the trip as my dad has told me there was still 4 inches of snow lying and Elizabeth wanted to make a snowman after the snow in Liverpool had all but melted. As soon as we got to Clitheroe it was straight into the back garden to make a Clitheroe version of frosty the snowman. It didnt take us long at all and we had a decent sized snowman. Back to Liverpool and a nice relaxed evening putting a carrot and milk out for Rudolph and a mince pie and glass of Baileys for father christmas (Although he told me last week in the grotto he preferred a bottle of Bud and a sausage roll) So the kids were in bed full of excitement of santa coming to visit and I had a few beers but it was to be an early night as who knows what time Elizabeth would be up in the morning. Poor old frosty was left all alone outside in the cold of Clitheroe………………..”I’m walking in the air………………..”

So it was about 2.45am when I heard a noise. Not to worry it must be santa. Soon Elizabeth was in our room confirming santa had indeed been and that he brought her more presents than could fit in her sack. Now this was a nice moment in our childs life until I turned and seen on the clock it was 2.46 and Elizabeth wanted to get up and open her presents. Well errrr maybe not. We managed to get her to go back to bed and she finally got to sleep about 3.30 only to awake again at a slightly better time of 6.30. So the kids opened their presents and the magic of christmas had begun. Bah humbug here smiled and joined in the fun and made space in the bathroom cabinet for the mountain of lynx shower gel and spray that will last me until Easter. So the kids were spoilt rotten again although there was a distinct lack of selection boxes this year, so bad that I had to buy a Twix for myself tonight. Chrimbo day was dinner at the in-laws and this year it was a large burger and two packs of fries to go followed by some mint choc chip Vienetta. We spent the evening at my sisters and after a long day finally made it home.

The theme of this christmas was deffo Peppa Pig. Everywhere you go in the house there is Peppa Pig merchandise of some kind. Boxing night we had a few bevvies in ours and played Beatles Rock Band with the full band. Its the first time I have played as part of a full band as you need 3 other friends to play with and I of course dont have any mates. So we finished the whole game in one night starting at The Cavern and finishing on the roof top singing “Get Back” The night was rounded off with the annual game of Singstar and there were some croaky voices on the 27th which was again spent around at the in laws. So Monday came and I am fully chrimbo’d out. The usual drinking and eating to excess and old Meldrew here has seen enough people in 3 days to last him a life time and has had a day of doing fuck all today and settling down with a beer tonight before I do a few hours work tomorrow. Had a touch of man flu over chrimbo. I always get it at this time of year and was worried with all the Peppa Pig stuff in the house it might turn into swine flu. Still feeling a bit ropey and as the picture below shows I am still not 100%.

I hope you all had a very merry christmas and santa brought you and your loved ones what you wanted. I want an extension to fit all the kids new toys in.


Fay x

Liver launderette and muzi update.

So nearly christmas time. Not my fave time of the year, bah humbug. I dont need to be told I must have fun on a select day. I can quite happily have burger and chips , lots of beer and chocolates on any day of the year. I will however make an effort so the kids have a great christmas and not forgetting Mrs Fay. How every christmas eve she must think how unlucky am I to have Fay. I have gone to extra lengths this year to keep her happy. Indeed the other week the tumble dryer broke an as I had a few bob spare I said I would get Mrs Fay an extra chrimbo present. So I got her a lovely condensing tumble dryer with a 7kg load. I even went as far as when it arrived on Monday instead of making Mrs Fay wait until Christmas day I let her have an early christmas present. The look of her face was of sheer horror joy. So she sat down that night with the instructions to her new Indesit waiting for the washing to finish to break her tumble dryer virginity. Now waiting for something to finish seems twice as long as if you were just going about your normal business. But soon Mrs Fay was loading the tumble dryer and away it tumbled. I knew what Mrs Fay was thinking. “How lucky am I to have a Indesit condensing tumble dryer, I could have been spending all of winter down at the local Liver Launderette.” In a strange family twist my Nan used to work in the Liver Launderette in Aigburth. I spent many an hour playing hide and seek in there and later on when I was a student and lived with my nan taking my drying down there. So one happy wife and she still has got her other presents to come although due to the cost of the tumble dryer I have said she has to have that for chrimbo and her birthday in March. Well it keeps her out of here……

So a quick muzzi update and the muzzi will be 4 weeks old on chrimbo day and I can feel it now on my lips etc its getting that bushy. I often find old bits of biscuit in there and it seems to have a habit of absorbing a lot of bean juice but apart from that its ok. I have raised £111 so far so if I could get to £150 that would be very good indeed and thanks to those who have donated and for those who havent just pass me £1 or click the link and donate £1 online. At least it keeps my top lip warm in this chilly weather we are having. Im hoping for a white chrimbo but it doesnt look like we are going to get one. Last chance of any snow will be tonight into tomorrow but its gonna be a chilly winter and my muzzi doesnt keep me that warm.


Fay x

Snowman, Santa and Crimewatch

So after a touch of man flu and a mini bout of sickness its time to blog again. Some chilly weather over the last week and even I have been putting the heating on. I was a bit let down by the lack of snow we received but on demand of the children we did go out and play in the front garden for a bit on Sunday morning in what was more hail than snow but the kids were excited and they insisted on me making a snowman. So armed with a baby carrot and two raisins I managed to make the smallest snow man I have ever made. Needless to say “Frosty” as we called him has now melted away. I hope we get some decnet snow at some point because I love to make a snow man and go sledging up Holts Field in Mossley Hill. Anyway managed to grab a picture of the terrible two with our snowman (Which bears an uncanny resemblance to a penguin) to keep forever.

So after the epic snowman building session it was off into town to see Father Chrimbo. We had pre booked to go to the grotto @ Liverpool 1 by John Lewis. I have to say the father christmas was very good and is deffo worth going to (cutting it fine now I know) The girls faces were a treat and even Charlotte was doing well in overcoming her fear of Father Christmas. Do we got the usual keepsake photo and once again Claire’s arm was in shot as she tried to keep Charlotte from running away from Santa. So not long until the big day now and the question is what can I bribe the kids to be good with once this weekend comes and our house becomes a toy shop and the kids get so many selection boxes that I then have help get rid of in readiness for the 2010 fitness regime that will last until about the 7th of Jan when for the first of about 20 times in the coming year I say to myself “Start on Monday”

I see today the first case ever on Crimewatch has been solved. The girl disappeared in October 1983 and was featured on Crimewatch on 07th June 1984 and was finally solved today. At this rate the Jill Dando case will be solved in 2024 when I will be 50 and Crimewatch 40. Could be a nice triple celebration there. Crimewatch was the must see programme when I was a kid and then I would try and stay awake for the update to see if they had any takers for the silver candlesticks that PC David Hatcher  (see pic below) showed in the Aladins cave section of the show were the police had recovered a load of knock of gear they themselves didnt want. All Crimewatch really succeeded in doing was putting the shits up us all despite Nick Ross saying “Please dont have nightmares” this 10 year old couldnt move as I was scared stiff and could hear a flea fart from 2 miles away such was my paranoia of noise. Ah the innocence of a 1980’s 10 year old. Of course the senior school kids of today are much tougher and indeed carry out most the rapings, shootings and knife crime themselves. Just had a eureka moment. I think I will phone the BBC tomorrow and see if they fancy my sales pitch of Junior Crimewatch. Old skool presenter as well and I think I will go for John Craven.


Fay x

The ghosts of Sudley school plays past and present.

And so its Thursday and the working week is over. Settling down with the heating on (how cold is it) and a chilled bottle of Rose. No footy tonight so once again headed to the total opposite end of the spectrum and the grog and got some munchies. Wednesday was Sudley Infants school christmas play (The ghost of christmas present) Elizabeth in year 1 was about to perform her chrimbo school play. Re-wind 12 months and her performance in “The first christmas” in reception year lasted all of three mins before she ran off stage in tears and that was that. No Oscar nominations last year then. So this years play and Elizabeth was starring (well playing) one of santa’s helpers in year 1’s “The Naughty Christmas Fairies.” She even had a line this year, thats a spoken one not the other, she’s a bit too young to be doing the habits of the Hollywood a-listers. The line was delivered with Laurence Olivier style qualities. Oscars, Emmys, Bafta’s, Golden Globe and best newcomer from The Heat magazine await. Well maybe i’m going over the tope but she was my santa’s little helper and she done very well indeed. There were 3 acts one from a class from each year and it was all put together brilliantly and rounded off with a snow machine spraying the kids. All very festive indeed.

So now its back to the 1980’s and Sudley Juniors this time. Whats that I see by our christmas tree. Why its the ghost of Sudley School play past. Hang on the figure is becoming less blurred what can I see ? Why its me. I must be about 10 years old. The only thing I drunk out of a bottle in them days was Schofields lemonade from the pop man. I look a strange figure. Seems like I had a lot more hair in them days as well. “Hello” I hear from this murky figure by our christmas tree in the living room (Already devoid of at least 3 chocolates eat by fat bastard me of christmas present) Where have you been I ask myself from the past (I am making this up on my first glass, must be strong rose this week) Old me answers “I have come from Sudley school plays past. You were a star in their 1980’s production of “Alice in wonderland” I was taken aback by this. “What me on the stage, did I run off after 3 mins in tears ?” “No” said past me (you keeping up with this ?) “You were the star of the night you even sang solo.” Now the fact I ever took part in a play never mind sang a solo in front of a couple of hundred people astounds me. “What part did I play ?” There was a pause “Why you were the duchess” At that moment the figure by the chrimbo tree came into full focus and there I was. In full dress, make up and wig holding a baby. Just like a night in ours in 2005 then ! So there you go a fully fledged young thespian. The early seeds of cross dressing and it was Garlands here we come in the next decade. I attach photographic proof of the three nights when I has the x-factor. Is that a young muzzi I see ?


Fay The Duchess x

Sundays match report not on the teletext and noisy sex !

So Sunday came and a Sudley select XI faced off against a Police select XI. It was a chilly Sunday morning down at Riversdale police club but at least it was dry and also not at Jericho Lane which is only a touch warmer than playing footy in the Artic. So I was centre half and the pitch was a bit muddy and in horse racing terms it would have been described as heavy going. Also the jocky (me) was about 28 pounds overweight. So the police took an early lead but a spirited fight back from Sudley and a cross which flew into the top corner from Dave meant we were 2-1 up only to concede a sucker goal on half time to make it 2-2. Not bad at all considering the police play every week and we just turned up on the day. So we were kicking down the hill in the second half and had the better of the play. The police had a secret weapon up front. He played against us last time and we nicknamed him “the roadrunner. This lad was fast and direct and with my lack of speed I made him look like Usain Bolt. In the end he was the difference and we went down to a spirited 4-2 defeat. So thats the boots packed away I get pulled out of retirement for another charity match. Had a great day on the ale, apart from the Liverpool result and 6 pints of lager 2 pints of cider and 5 bottles of beer later I fell into ours about 11 and made it into my conservatory for work about 9.15 with sausage barms on the go.

You can only find the match report on my blog and not on Teletext. Indeed Teletext will be no more very soon. The Teletext information service on analogue and digital television will close across the UK on 16 December. Limited services including holidays, racing and bookmaking and the subtitles on analogue channels will remain available. Teletext’s chat and dating TV channels on Freeview will also be unaffected. Speaking to the BBC in Jersey, Karen Rankin, the Managing Director of Broadcast at Channel TV said the closure was a commercial decision. “The decision was taken by Teletext UK who run the licence for the whole of the UK to withdraw the service at the end of this year,” said Karen. I have fond memories of Teletext and being a gadget fiend remembered when we got a TV that had fast text coloured buttons on !! Also flicking through the footy scores only for you to miss the page and have to wait for what seemed like an eternity for the page to come back around only to miss it again. Also doing the quiz’s on Teletext and pressing reveal for the answer. This was cutting edge back in the day. Must say I dont think I have used Teletext since the 90’s and also never got a holiday of the Teletext but where ever you went on holiday as a kid somebody would say “Its cheaper on the Teletext la” I even remember when before Teletext it was called “The Oracle” from “Optional Reception of Announcements by Coded Line Electronics” but that made way for Teletext on Jan 1st 1993. RIP Teletext 1974-2009 looks like just Ceefax left, but for how long ?

So its Elizabeth’s school play tomorrow and half my working week is done. Knackered tonight after playing indoor footy. Still bright red I finished about an hour ago. So no energy for anything. A woman who was given an anti-social behaviour order banning her from making loud noises during sex has admitted breaching the order. Caroline and Steve Cartwright’s love-making was described as “murder” and “unnatural” at Newcastle Crown Court. Neighbours, the local postman and a woman taking her child to school complained about the noise. Cartwright, 48, from Washington on Wearside, pleaded guilty to three counts of breaching the Asbo. She will be sentenced on 18 January. At an earlier hearing, next door neighbour Rachel O’Connor told the court she was frequently late for work because she overslept having been awake most of the night because of the noise. She said: “The noise sounds like they are both in considerable pain. I cannot describe the noise. I have never ever heard anything like it.” Nice quote me thinks you might need to invite this fella around and see if he can make you make the same noises. On second thoughts looking at the picture below maybe not. I have noticed though he has a cracking muzzy, which has got me thinking. So if you hear any noises in Garston tonight you know its not me as im gonna scoff my crunchie and off to bo bo’s as another day in work tomorrow

Peace (and quiet in Garston)

Fay x

Happy birthday muzzi, £76 so far

So my muzzi is over 2 weeks old and so far £76 raised. Thanks to you all for donating. Just under 3 weeks now until I shave it off, and the muzzi as well ;0) Its already quite bushy and I can deffo feel it hanging down so god knows what its gonna be like after another 3 weeks. Once again here is the link for my muzzi homepage DONATE HERE So I have been doing a bit of research about the old moustache. I have found out there is a world championship every two years. The last one was this year held in Anchorage, South Alaska. The competition is run by the World Beard and Moustache Association (WBMA) There are several categories and on looking at my muzzi so far I am going to have to enter the freestyle competition. So just 520 days to go until the next competition in Trondheim in Norway on May 14th 2011. That gives me a decent amount of growing time but I fear it could be part grey by then as I have noticed a few sneeky grey hairs in my effort so far. The current freestyle champion is Keith Haubrich AKA Ghandi Jones. Below is a picture of him and his winning effort. Long way to go with mine but you never know.

So the family are back from Delamere forest with the family christmas tree. the kids are decorating it as well speak and I must say it is an improvement on last years tree which was just a bit smaller than the one in Trafalgar Square. I hope Mrs Fay has bought some nice Cadburys chocolates to decorate the tree and not the cheap ones people get that are so bad that they end up on the tree well past christmas as they taste like shite. Rain stop play at the moment as the tree is still a bit damp and I did not want Mrs Fay getting electrocuted. So the final weekend of x-factor, or at least I hope it is. As you may know I am not really into it (thats an understatement) but I am a bit bemused that they are dragging it out over 2 days. May the best person win and line Mr Cowell’s pockets that little bit more. I think I will watch BBC sports personality of the year assuming I am back in after our footy match against the police (Full match report Monday.) My vote goes to Jessica Ennis for being world champion in the heptathlon. Dont think Tiger Woods will be winning overseas sports personality of the year. Tiger is trying hard not to lose votes though as Tiger has won an injunction banning the English media from publishing new details about his personal life, after instructing London-based lawyers to take legal action. The move, described by lawyers as “unbelievable”, prevents the media from publishing material that the US media would be able to publish, prompting further anger about the ability of foreign litigants to take advantage of repressive English laws. “This injunction would never have been granted in America”, the media lawyer Mark Stephens said. “It’s unbelievable that Tiger Woods’ lawyers have been able to injunct the UK press from reporting information here” There has been a bit of Tiger mania recently. A rather large fall from grace for Mr Woods and people are going on about his perfect image being ruined. Remember though it wasnt Tiger who said he was perfect. I hope to see him back playing golf as he is a true sportsman and its easy to knock a man when he is down, especially if your wife is on top of you twatting you with a wood. Mrs Woods has only one option, give him the flick.

Final thought for the day. If you have seedless fruit then how do you grow anymore ?


Fay x

Just another brick in the wall

I love Thursday blogs. It means the weekend has started. The joys of home working have been great although I feel sorry for work mate Dave who found out you cant home work using Virgin media broadband. One of the rare occasions you wouldnt want to use a virgin. Just got beat at footy and it was mighty cold with the old moobs feeling a bit chilly when I got in. I was getting some practice in a I am playing 11 a side on Sunday against the police. That should be fun on a full size pitch freezing my bollocks off down Riversdale Road in this weather. Off for s few scoops afterwards to watch the Liverpool game. A luxury I can enjoy now with home working. Roll out of bed whenever I get up. Log on and throw some sausages on my George Foreman grill. Now thats what I call work. The only thing with home working is that I actually dont move out of the house apart from popping over the gym. Might have to get a UV light for my office to replicate sunlight so I dont suffer from SAD. On the muzzi front I have now raised £76 which is good news. I will post an update picture tomorrow when the muzzi will be two weeks old. So with home working not much has gone on in my ickle life so I have had to pic some of the more strange stories of the week.

A London gallery is looking for a £3,000 brick by artist Gavin Turk which went missing and was replaced with a worthless equivalent. Revolting Brick, signed by the artist, was substituted with one from a pile which exhibition-goers were invited to take from after their visit. “We are treating this seriously – important art has been taken,” said Area10 Project Space’s Dimitri Launder. He added that Turk has alerted art valuers and auctioneers. Organisers noticed that his brick had been substituted shortly before the show was due to end at the Peckham gallery. So if you are offered a knock off brick when you are buying you socks and wrapping paper from our local full of festive spirit smack heads then think again. Here is a picture of the brick in case you come across it.


In more disturbing news. Theodore Sypnier was freed from jail in upstate New York and is being moved from a half-way house to a flat in Buffalo. Residents say the sex offender should spend the rest of his life behind bars, and fear he will prey on youngsters in the area. “I want him away from society as long as possible,” Erie County district attorney Frank Sedita told “It doesn’t matter to me that he’s 100-years-old. He’s evil. He’s a paedophile. Paedophiles are the worst.” Sypnier was charged in 1999 with raping two young sisters, who were aged four and seven at the time. The minister in charge of the half-way house said Sypnier has remained completely unrepentant of his crimes in counselling sessions. Reverend Terry King said the elderly paedophile can still walk for miles and should be kept away from children. He added: “He has been adamant that, ‘I’m 100, and I’m not gonna change’.” Now this is a shocking crime and should not be made fun of but I was thinking if this was in the UK would the queen of still sent him a telegram ? He’s that old that most people under the age of 40 would seem to be a lolita to him. I say cut his balls off and give him slippers and a pipe and a large pack of Werthers originals laced with cyanide. Or if you have a spare Gavin Turk brick that should do the job.

So some chilly weather on the way. Will it last for the chrimbo period ? I am not very festive but a white christmas would be nice and not the kind of white christmas spent in a toilet cubicle in town eh lads. Some of us like to poo in the toilets. More tomorrow.


Fay x

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