Thursday brought a lie in until 8.15. First knock at the door was the man from British gas who was around to fix a leak on the boiler. All sorted but he put some sealant in the system which means we have to have the heating on twice a day. Thats a bonus for Mrs Fay who has wanted the heating on anyway but I have said no as I am warm enough sitting around in my scruff of shorts and a footy top. When the heating goes on I think I will have to sit in my Solomon grundies with my moobs out. Not a pretty sight if any visitors come around. So 1.20 and a trip to Garston job centre and time to sign on. The first impression of two security guards on the door is not the most welcoming sight. So I was sat down and awaiting my interview or whatever they call it. There was a certain atmosphere in the place and on listening in to conversations a large majority of them were ending in the word “lad.” I spotted quite a few lacoste badges on display and one woman with a skin head who looked menacing. Now I know she could have been ill but I assure you this was a hard skinhead not an illness one. The place reminded me of the Mos Eisley space bar in Star Wars which was described by Obi-Wan Kenobi as “a wretched hive of scum and villainly” Well this new Jedi to benefits was welcome to get out alive from the Garston jobby. Its back there again on the 10th when hopefully I will be able to tell them I am signing off. This time I will take a chewbacca to give me back up in case things kick off. So thats that I am officially on the dole point of note the people who worked there were very nice. On my way out I was waiting for the Cantina band to strike up.
So we got out our of our pits at a decent time of just before 12. Colin had left for his first DJ gig at a bar. We had planned to go to this but were in no fit state. We managed to sway down to the pool and had a beer as that was the best option available. There wasnt much sun on Saturday but all three of us were thankful as we were already 3 balls of sweat. It was time for sleep two from 3 to 5. Woke up a bit refreshed and time for food. So we went down to Kanya for a light bite to eat and struggled back to our apartments were it was soon time for bed again. Colin was leaving for his gig at Bar M. So that was the second gig out of three we had missed. The alarms went and it was 11pm. Time to head of to Space. For a fraction of time when I looked at the clock I thought I can really stay in bed here. But considering we had missed two gigs and this is what we came for I dragged myself out of my pit and put my disco clobber on and off to Space it was. We met friends John and Clare outside Space. Colin had informed us we needed ID to get in and we all had our passports. Nobody had informed John but luckily they accepted bank cards and we were in on the guest list VIP style (Thanks Colin) Then it was take the piss time number 2. Although we had saved 45 euros getting in as we were on the guest list. We went to get a beer. Shock horror it was 10 euros for a drink. We had to bite the bullet and pay. Two rooms out of the three were open for the Hed Kandi night at space. The club lived up to all of its expectations. It really is different from normal clubs and the atmosphere was great. I assume this was due to all the pardon the pun space cadets in there. So we got our vip bands and it was off to the VIP area. Scott tried to put his band on. They were like hospital bands but after a few mins Scott had noticed that the fastener was broke. Me and Mo were in bouts of laughter but Scott managed eventually to get past the VIP bouncer. the main room was bouncing complete with drummer and a fella on the sax. There were also male and female dancers in the club and the females were top knotch dancers ;0). Take the piss number 3 was that a bottle of small water was 7 euros. We tried to fill one up in the toilet but the cheeky bastards had the taps filled with salt water. So Colin finished his set at 6.30 and the sun was rising again as we got a taxi home. The taxi driver was female and was on her phone the entire 25 mins home. We were all glad to gat home in one piece as the Spanish love their roundabouts and were were very close to hitting a few as she juggled the phone , steering wheel and gearstick between her two hands. Another magical night in Ibiza and time for bed.
So Friday morning I decided to take Charlotte over the gym for a swim. She loves swimming and I love sitting in the baby pool with the other mothers, only there were not any yesterday. There was some action in the big pool though. It was the over 60’s water aerobics. Some big choons from the 60’s playing and whole host of fluffy cloud heads could be seen bopping up and down from my view in the baby pool. Now I look forward to my old age. Wandering into town, starting around Slater St. Working my way around to the blob and those boozers by Clayton Square. You know the ones that are rockin at 12pm. I would most probably get the bus back more local then for a few before heading back home and Mrs Fay would have my tea on the table. Sounds like a plan to me. If all you women have to look forward to is “cloud head” water aerobics and some flower arranging then I think we men are onto a winner. Another advantage for men is that the main down side to getting old is that our hair falls out. Mine has been anyway so the quicker the better. The more bald you go the more time you spend on keeping it neat and short. Its like a perverse law that one. Back to women though. Two words “The change.” Open that window, close that window, open that window I am hot again etc etc etc. No wonder I will be bailing down to town for a pint to get out of the way. I wonder if the change sets off hormones that will turn many womens hair grey and then develop in to that fluffy grey hair which I term “cloud head” ? Time to get some money and do a university study on it. Who doesnt know a cloud head ?
From the BBC web site : A large stretch of Australia’s east coast, including the largest city Sydney, has been shrouded in red dust blown in from the desert outback. Visibility in Sydney was so bad that flights were diverted and harbour ferry traffic disrupted. Landmarks such as the Opera House were obscured, and many residents took to wearing masks. Imagine if this had happened in Liverpool. First up you know the council cleaners would instantly go on strike and Liverpool would be orange for weeks. I estimate that about 15 – 20 % of the population would go missing. This would be in the age range of 16 – 30 and female. The last reported sightings from worried parents would be ” Our Mercedes went to the sun bed shop love and we have not seen here since.” Police would be out looking for the white eyes of these young girls as they have blended into the dust storm like a chameleon. The economy would receive a boost as hundreds of pairs of pyjama’s would have to be replaced. Thats assuming these young ladies wear a pair for going out and a pair to sleep in otherwise there are going to be a lot of sweaty orange “boxes” roaming the streets. I was gonna use minge there but do not wish to offend anybody. Anyway after the dust was finally cleaned 6 months on by the street cleaners who in the end received bonuses bigger than the bankers received in years gone by. Martial law was rescinded and Liverpool was back to normal. Lets hope that the dunes at Freshfields dont get whipped up by a storm or I will be getting called Nostradamus.