Review of blogs October 2009


So Friday I went swimming with Charlotte over at the David Lloyd gym. The cloud heads were in full effect again (see previous blog ) and there were no other mothers in the baby pool so I could breathe out for the duration of our swim. It was then the afternoon negotiation of the school run which never seems as bad as the morning one and it was then a pizza park for tea. Friday was a first for me. I received notification of the amount of money I could draw as a dividend from Faymondo Benefits Limited emailed to me by my accountant. This was quickly put into my personal account. As I am the sole share owner in Faymondo Benefits Limited I decided to throw a party for the staff. The managing director was lavish in hosting the company party and splashed out on some finest Marks & Spencers crisps and 4 cans of Budweiser and a bottle of Rose. There was even free entertainment laid on in the shape of FIFA football 2010 on the Playstation 3 and then coverage of Prizefighter on Sky Sports. The party wound down about 11.30 and a good time was had by all. I hope the boss throws a party next Friday when the second dividend is paid.

So I am finally home with some spare time on my hands after 3 days in work. Just a normal day in work on Monday which was nice but this week we decided to stay over on the Tuesday night and do two 12 hour days on Tuesday and Wednesday. So after a 7am to 7pm on Tuesday we decided to treat ourselves to a Burger King. The BK was situated just off the M62 in a place called Xscape which is indoor ski slope with cinema and lots of food places attached. So the plain double whopper and chips was demolished in record time and it was off to our hotel. It was only 1 junction down the motorway and we were soon in the room all be it in a double bed together. This is how rumours start I think. So we got the playstation 3 out of the bag and were ready to play FIFA 2010 and Ashes cricket to pass the time. Now this was a cheap hotel (Dave’s a mingebag) so it had what was a 14″ portable TV. One which I received for about my 10th birthday. No HD on this thing and no need for my HDMI lead but I had brought a normal scart lead, but it was colour. So I plugged it in but alas couldnt get the TV to work. So we needed a plan B. Luckily the hotel was attached to a boozer so we went in for a few pints. Quite a few workies in there who were staying over as well. Dave had changed into normal clothes and I still had my shirt and pants on. Sitting down having a pint I was thinking what was going through the barmans’s mind. He had sorted our double room out earlier. I reckon he was thinking that Dave was my rent boy and I was staying over for the night on business. Now he wasnt far from the truth it was only for the fact I left my other bag in Liverpool which contained a bottle of poppers, an orange and some flex, that Dave survived. Its all coming out in this blog isnt it. Another bombshell revelation is I have slept with Dave before. It was in Sheffield over a year ago when we went to see Oasis and then went onto a Hed Kandi night. Because we were both bevied in Sheffield the double bed didnt come into play as we both just hit the pillow. Last night however I was aware that Dave was in the bed and so did not have a very good nights sleep and I did not want to roll into him or move a stray leg in his direction. I was also only sleeping lightly in case he had brought his poppers, orange and flex.

So Thursday was a last effort in work and then a long drive home, wont be falling for that again and leaving earlier next week. I manage to drag myself to footy and another epic draw this time 5-5 with just the one goal from myself. Slept like a baby on Thursday night until my sleep was broken by those pesky kids. Now ok they are my kids but they still woke me up an hour earlier than planned. The Eldest Elizabeth was sick in the night so had a day off school. That messed up my weekly trip to David Lloyd to see the cloud heads in the swimming pool (See previous blog) So a lazy day really well apart from washing up, doing washing and hoovering but a mans work is never done. Elizabeth had a miracle style recovery and was soon munching on some salt and vinegar squares. She has picked up a habit of eating all the salt and vinegar crisps which does my head in as they are my fave flavour as well. Both kids then has a lunchtime snooze so I dived onto the xbox 360 inbetween household chores, a mans work is never done. Elizabeth woke up first and it was time for me to cook lunch and in honour of the late Keith Allen (EDIT Keith Floyd, I like the wine like he did) I cooked Elizabeth chicken noodles. Anybody who knows me will know that is the equivalent of anybody else cooking to a 3 star Michelin restaurant standard. For future Michelin reference Charlotte got beans on toast, a mans work is never done. So with the kids perked up we went around to the local shops or to everybody else Speke retail. Last shop as awlays was M&S food. Got the customary salt and vinegar crisps (No Elizabeth you cant have any get to bed !! ) It was here I had a divine moment. There was a bright light that appeared. I dragged the kids and said come and see what this light is. It led me to a fridge, an angel floated away and started playing a harp. A chorus of hallelujah broke out. I opened the fridge and there it was. A litre bottle of Italian rose “Vino da Tavola.”  I have often moaned to Mrs Fay that a 750 ml bottle of rose is too small and at last I have found the holy grail a litre bottle. I will still stick to my two bottles a session rule but the hun is now on for a one and a half litre bottle. Here is a little review I found. We welcome back the return of Il Fagiano Rosato, the second vintage from esteemed Italian producers, Farnese. Made in accordance to its red sibling, we’re sure the new Rosato will be a customer favourite. This deep coloured and deliciously plump rose comes from the eastern part of Italy’s Abruzzo region. 85% Montepulciano gives the wine juicy cherry and raspberry aromas, whilst 15% Sangiovese adds fresh acidity and length of flavour. Enjoy chilled with M&S crisps on a barm and a king size twix. An alternative is a chip barm and sausage from the Ko Sing chippy. (OK I added the last bit)

Noticed this news story in the week. A trial of a scanner that produces “naked” images of passengers has begun at Manchester Airport. The authorities say it will speed up security checks by quickly revealing any concealed weapons or explosives. But the full body scans will also show up breast enlargements, body piercings and a clear black-and-white outline of passengers’ genitals. I wonder what the interview for that job will be ? Will this technology be able to be planted into a mans brain in the future because most of us have been trying this style of technology on a daily basis but will very little success. I wouldnt want to be going through this scanner on a cold day with a female on duty either. She might pull me to one side and say “excuse me sir can you take that wallnut whip from your boxer shorts please”

So its friday evening and that means time to have a few drinks in the house. This Friday is sponsored by Miller Beer and Seabrooks crisps. Just looking around for some news stories that are not BNP or post office strike and one that caught my eye was A US newspaper says it has received well over 100 applicants for the post of marijuana critic – many of whom have offered to work for free. The alternative Denver newspaper, Westword, is seeking a writer for its weekly review of Colorado’s booming medical marijuana dispensaries. But there is a catch – candidates must have a medical ailment allowing them to enter a dispensary and use marijuana. Now I am enjoying the agency work I am doing but come to think of it my back has been playing up a bit. I think its that bad that it will be classed as a medical ailment. Just in the process of updating my C.V as we speak. I reckon it will be king size picnics every day if I get the job and I will make sure my iphone is loaded up with loads of Cafe Del Mar and Bob Marley songs. Then it will be time to dig out the”wheres Wally” books and spend the next four hours looking for Wally and then the penny would drop that I was too stoned to find Wally it would be time for more of my picnic. Might have to book an Easyjet flight to Amsterdam to do some job research. Anybody fancy coming with us ?


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