Happy new year I woke up as Hitler and the g spot doesnt exist.

Happy new year to all my blog readers. So the festivities are over  and the goose has indeed got fat with the amount of food and ale I have knocked back over the festive period. Glad to get back to normal and work today.  A quiet new years in ended up with guests leaving about 3am in the morning. Fireworks were let off in the street and the champers were popped. Jan the 1st also meant that my famous muzzi came off and may I thank everybody who donated. Still the odd one due in but the total so far is £186.00. So as soon as big ben chimed I shaved my muzzi down to a magnum 1980’s style and then a final trim down to a Hitler style. Not very PC but the only chance I will have to have a Hitler muzzi bar some late life changing moment and I become a Nazi ( My initials are NF) So woke up on New years day with a slight hangover and when I looked in the bathroom mirror I still had my Hitler toothbrush muzzi. Good job I noticed then and  it only took a second to trim down. Imagine the look on my neighbours face when I went out to put the recycling out and I was sporting a Hitler muzzi or even worse I went to the local Summerfield looking like a Hitler double from the 1940’s. Oh well its back to normal again now and thanks once again to you all that donated. Here is a picture of Adolf Fay, Fuhrer of Almond Court.

So the rest of the holidays passed quick and I had a couple of moments in the new year that had me thinking is this the year I morph into my dad. The first one was when Elizabeth was playing her new Disney CD she got for xmas and I was moaning at her for playing it too loud. The second was today when I was working from home and Mrs Fay was off and listening to radio 1. Sarah Cox was on and the music she was playing could only be described as shite. She babbled on a load of shite as well so I think I will leave “yoof” radio and music to the kids and Mrs Fay. How long before I come out with the “Is that rap with a capital C” quote by John Fay (me old man) in the 1990’s (It took some time for him to first hear rap) I am forever switching lights off and moaning about them being on like father feck did to us. I think its my destiny like Anakin Skywalker turned into Darth Vader I am turning into John Fay. Help me Obi Wan Kenobi you are my only help.

And finally  The elusive erogenous zone said to exist in some women (and men so I have been told) may be a myth, say researchers who have hunted for it. Their study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine is the biggest yet, involving 1,800 women, and it found no proof. The King’s College London team believe the G-spot may be a figment of women’s imagination, encouraged by magazines and sex therapists. But sexologist Beverley Whipple who helped popularise the G-spot idea said the work was “flawed”. She said the researchers had discounted the experiences of lesbian or bisexual women and failed to consider the effects of having different sexual partners with different love-making techniques. You cant imaging the man hours I have put into this quest. The massaging and the probing, the gentle caressing and tended touch of my fingers moving all around. The number of times ive played Terence Trent Darby’s “Sign your name” when trying to find this illusive spot is too many . On the the brightside the male g-spot is (was) situated not far from the prostrate and so whilst up there I might not of found sexual utopia but at least I havent got prostrate cancer. At this point I was gonna take a picture of me, my finger and a large scoop of Nutella as a prop. But as my diet starts today I just cant go near the Nutella jar for fear of eating it all and having failed after only 18 hours of day 1.

So a blog that had me turn into a Hitler impersonator, showing the signs of becoming old before my time and then talking about fingers up me bum. Is this what Faymondo’s blog is gonna be about in 2010 ? You will have to tune into the next episode kids.




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