Footy report, footy injury and bronchitis.

Ahh so were do we start with that title. Start at the beginning eh and Sunday. It was the big rematch against a police select XI and yours truly was in goal.We were down to the bare bones and has a 12 but many a star player missing due to a christening of one of our players baby. So we started off well but then 10 mins in and our left midfielder pulled a hamstring. Time to bring on out 57 year old sub, better known as Dave my father in law. So a first half that we dominated and should have been 3 or 4 goals up but we went in level and only the odd save for me to make. Second half we were kicking down the hill but against the wind. We started to struggle a bit and our lack of fitness started to tell. Soon we were two down the first a top corner finish and the second a close range header from a corner that I managed to get a hand to. I then came out of goal to give our centre half a breather and we pulled a goal back and pushing forward with 5 to go and conceded again. So a valiant 3-1 defeat in a match we should have won. So we went out for post match beers around Aigburth Vale and went The Fullwood Arms, The Blenheim Hotel and then The Little Green. Swayed back into ours about 8.30 much to the annoyance of Mrs Fay , banged some fries to go in the microwave and off to bed I went.

So not much of a hangover on Monday thanks to being in bed nice and early but full of phlegm once again so I decided I needed to get back the doctors, plus the results of my xray was in. So on Tuesday I went down to see the doctor and she told me the xray showed I have a touch of bronchitis. Or mega mega man flu as I have decided to call it. So more antibiotics and I cant drink on them, fookin hell thats a major effort needed to be made. So Tuesday night and I decided to drag myself of my sickbed and play footy. All was going well until 10 mins in and I attempted to block a shot and hung out my left foot and bang, the ball hit my foot and pop go my ankle ligaments. 36 years old and I feel on the scrap heap with my egg like ankle and coughing up phlegm like an old man every morning. I have decided to start taking my antibiotics on Friday morning so I can have one last beer and drown my sorrows on Thursday. No footy for a few weeks me thinks and need to get out on my bike, what can go wrong there ? ( Dont even joke about it !!!!! ) Anyway as I always say there is somebody else worse of than you and even though I jest about having these ailments they are nothing really (Dont tell Mrs Fay though)

Quick story from the world of the internet and I came across this car story. Underneath this amazing mirrored bodywork is a MINI Cooper S. It’s a well equipped MINI, granted, but it’s so flash that its owners can’t get insurance cover. Ian Grice, a builder from Nottingham, bought the car as a Valentine’s gift for his wife Toni. He was so dazzled by it, literally, that he happily paid the £38,000 asking price when it caught his eye in the showroom. Without options, the list price for a MINI Cooper S is £17,000 – meaning the value of the chrome paintjob could be more than the car itself. But it has caused a massive headache for the couple, because insurance companies won’t provide cover, at any cost. Temporary cover was initially provided by the London MINI dealership so it could be driven home by the happy buyers. Once back in Nottingham, however, they were left with what Ian describes as “the world’s most expensive mirror.” Oh dear, quite handy having a mirror if your a lady I suppose but as you see below, but would you really want to drive around in that ?

So thats that and time to bang a bag of peas on my ankle a cough up some phlegm to give the doctors tomorrow for more tests.

Peace

Fay x x

A wedding, a comeback and RIP The Bill.

So Friday evening started with a romantic burger and chips with Mrs Fay at Moranto’s on Lark Lane and mighty fine it as was well. We were a bit short on time so didint hav a drink in the lane. So we missed out on the joys of character watching in The Albert or going to The Masonic painted black. I refuse to call it by its new name. Even missed out on checking the local lesbians in Keith’s but to be fair they are normally the “Hockey goalie” type lesbians. Am I allowed to say that ? Anybody who knows me cant call me homophobic as I loved Garlands back in the day and also dont mind the odd lesbian or 4. So it was straight down to Liverpool marina for the wedding reception of Joey & Lesley Ryan (Though I better not call her Les in light of the previous sentence) Bar prices a bit steep in the Marina bar but that didnt stop me having a few scoops and Mrs Fay having a few too many scoops (I wont mention the memory loss or the loss of the ability to walk. **** Just been informed by Mrs Fay not to mention this so I have removed it *****) I have known Joey since senior school and played in numerous footy teams with him and have fond memories of a BBQ he had when his mum and dad were away in which we tied to relight the BBQ about 4 am in the morning with lighter fuel which nearly ended up in disaster. I remember falling in my mum and dads house about 8am in the morning and then switching the world athletics championship on from Tokyo and Bob Beamon’s long jump record being beaten. I had to double check was I so pissed I was hallucinating ? No indeed Mike Powell had beaten it by five cm’s. A record which still stands today so that date of that BBQ must have been 29th into 30th August 1991. Time passes so quick eh. So with Mr and Mrs Ryan happily married that meant for todays footy match against the police we dont have a goalie, so its Fay to the rescue and I will indeed be in goal for todays match against the police. For the match review of the last game against the police CLICK HERE I will post a match report tomorrow and I wonder how many I will let in ? Fave in the betting is 4 at a short 6/4 price, eeeeek !!

So the end of The Bill is nigh. I must admit I dont think I have watched an episode since the glory days of Sgt Bob Cryer and his crime fighting nose. It seems that every time I go around to my nan’s house that the Bill is on. UK gold is my nans fave channel. Since news of the Bill’s axing we have been shielding my nan from the news as not to break her heart switching the news off and giving her last weeks papers again. She thinks that Liverpool keep on losing and are only 6th in the table every time she reads the sport, hang on a mo….. She is only up to 1993 on UK gold which means she has 17 years of the Bill left to watch. Should she survive to see the end of the Bill on UK Gold she will then be 111 and I am sure by then we will be able to kid her and just put some old Bill DVD’S on if we can find one of those old dvd thingy players. With advances of technology the Bill might have been converted into hologram TV and we could all admire Bob Cryer’s nose in full holographic 3D. Anyway thats yer lot off for some pre match preparation for playing in goal which will consist of sausage on toast, a lucozade sport and the Sunday People. Wish me luck, I have a feeling I will need it.

Peace

Fay x x

Porridge @ Liverpool Empire review

So Wednesday night I decided to take Mrs Fay out to Damons and then we went into town to see Porridge at the Liverpool Empire. Written especially for the stage by the original creators, Dick Clement and Ian Le Frenais it has a cast of of 15. Headlining the show is Shaun Williamson – best known for his fomer role as Barry Evans in ‘EastEnders’ and, more recently, for playing a comically unemployable version of himself in Ricky Gervais’ BBC Sitcom ‘Extras’. The role of Godber, originally played by the late Richard Beckinsale, has gone to rising talent Daniel West. So did the stage version keep up with the T.V version ? The stage version was a selection of scenes from the numerous T.V series. Despite a faultless performance from Shaun Williamson and the rest of the cast it shows how good Barker and Beckinsdale played the roles for TV and for that matter the rest of the cast. So the gags were the same as the TV show but I felt some of the magic was lost on the stage show. The Empire was only using the downstairs seating and even though we were quite near the front the performance seemed a bit distant and I thought the sound could have been cranked up a bit. So overall it was nice to have a night out but its hard to carry of such a great T.V comedy on stage. So in the words of the opening scene,

“Norman Stanley Fletcher, you have pleaded guilty to the charges brought by this court and it is now my duty to pass sentence.

“You are an habitual criminal who accepts arrest as an occupational hazard and presumably accepts imprisonment in the same casual manner.

“I therefore feel constrained to sentence you to the maximum term allowed for these offences.  You will go to Prison for five years.

I must say I seem to be a fan of Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais the writers of porridge as I have all 3 series of Porridge on DVD and the box set of another of their classic The likely lads and whatever happened to the likely lads. Interesting little story I found about the stars of the likely lads.

The last episode was filmed in 1974, for years it was assumed that Bolam and Bewes were on friends off screen as well as on, a pretence they kept up because their public expected it. It was finally blown in 2005, when the ageing Bewes published his memoirs, in which he revealed that they had comprehensively fallen out 30 years earlier and had not spoken since. He blamed Bolam’s fear of having his privacy invaded and of being eternally typecast.

The final breach, as Bewes told it, occurred after Bolam’s wife, Sue, announced to her husband, while he was driving, that she was pregnant. He almost crashed the car. Bewes repeated this story in a newspaper interview, thinking that it was already public knowledge, then got a frosty reaction when he rang Bolam to forewarn him. “There was this dreadful silence. He put the put the phone down. I called him back, He didn’t answer. He hasn’t spoken to me since,” Bewes claimed.

“He vetoed repeats of The Likely Lads for 18 years,” Bewes told the Daily Mail. “He justified it by saying, ‘It’s a retrospective step in my career.’ But eventually they did show the series again, and I’d love to have asked Jimmy: ‘Did you send the repeat cheque back because of your principles?’ It’s all terribly sad.”

Another thing Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais wrote was Auf Wiedersehen Pet which was the classic TV show in the 80’s revived in 2002. I think that box set will be next on my list. They dont seem to make comedy like they used to, but some of it like mind your language and love thy neighbour is very borderline to say the least.

So a busy weekend coming up with a wedding on Friday night and a footy match against the police again on Sunday so expect some blogs on that. I leave you with a clip from Porridge.

Peace

Fay x x

Saturday pub crawl and Harry Carpernter RIP.

So first blog for a few days, a combination of man flu and a Saturday on the ale causing no weekend blog. So as mentioned Saturday I ended up going on a pub crawl in town which went a little bit like this. Crown Hotel >>>>>>Wetherspoons >>>>>>Lloyds Bar  >>>>>>Flannagans >>>>>>Lennon Bar >>>>>>Hog’s Head >>>>>>Ship & Mitre >>>>>> Rigby’s >>>>>>Cavern Pub >>>>>> O’Neills >>>>>> Django’s Riff and a final one in The Central. Most of this I plotted using the foursqaure application o the iphone if any gadget fans want to add me my username is faymondo.  A decent mix of boozers there and even managed to catch some live music in Flannagans were the band were playing classics and in the Cavern Pub there was a rock-ish band on. Some dodgy karaoke in the Lennon bar was soon followed by some real ale in The Ship & Mitre. Now I am not one for real ale and I dont think you can call this real ale but a couple of us had a pint of strawberry beer. Brewed by the Brasserie Huyghe from Belgium this draft beer Van Diest Fruli Strawberry Beer has had the following review ours a cloudy strawberry red color (how appropriate) with a 1/2 inch tan fluffy head which dissipates quickly; a lot of sediment floating around in the bottom of the glass. Leaves decent spotty lacing. Smells of strawberry, sweet malt, yeast or grains, cotton candy, sugar, orange peel and artificial sweeteners…very, very sweet nose, like a kid’s fruit juice. Tastes like it smells, with the flavor of strawberry, cotton candy, sugar, candy like Skittles, Starburst or taffy, sweet malt, yeast, caramel, orange peel and a ton of artificial sweeteners or candy sugar. This is by far the sweetest beer that I’ve ever had, but it seems to go down easy and not be too offensive with the over the top sweetness. Mouthfeel is light and creamy, with a medium body that feels heavier than it is because of the juice-like sweetness; very light to no carbonation, this is almost too watery as this beer went down very easy. Well one was enough for me and it was just like having a fruit drink. Only 4.10% ABV its taste is not even hiding a punch behind it. Well at least I tried something as I feel its a crime to go the Ship & Mitre and order a bottle of Becks.

So after Django’s Riff we were heading up to the Swan for a drink when we could here distant drumming. By the time we got to the Swan a whole posse of drummers were marching down past us making one hell of a noise but a very good beat. Managed to get a clip of the drummers and it was just a co-incidence the drummer I filmed happened to be quite attractive. OK I lied one of the lads said make sure you get her !!! So once the drummers passed our gang of five which was down to four was down to two so me an Ian went the Central for a last drink, with the tactic of having the Lobster Pot nearby. Funny how the topic of conversation changes as you get older. Topics ranged from how the kids of today take meow meow (See previous blog) to how the general health of our parents are in decline. In your late teens and early 20’s you are indestructible now in our mid 30’s our parents are not so indestructible. Got help our late 50’s chats when we find out that we are not indestructible but hopefully thats a long way off. So I was persuaded to get a cab home (The mingebag I am had a return train ticket) and I was up alarmingly early at 07:30 on Sunday with a bit of a headache and was safely in bed asleep on Sunday for 8.30pm Well as you see it was a decent pub crawl. Heres a video of the drummers

So this afternoon I received a text saying Harry Carpenter had died. We have a game were whoever gets the first text in of a celebrity death wins by sending the name of the person who has dies followed by arse. So it was 14:35 and I received the text “Harry Carpenter” Arse. I have fond memories of staying up late and watching sportsnight on BBC with Harry Carpenter presenting and also his legendary boxing commentaries. Who can fail to forget his rapport with Frank Bruno. Numerous tributes being paid tonight and I hope the BBC put something together in way of a tribute. Harry Carpenter surmised that other people’s suggested epitaph for him might be “they stopped him talking at last”. But his voice was one of authority that will echo down the years whenever people review the great days of boxing. RIP Harry Carpenter 1925 – 2010.

Peace

Fay x x

I-poo and a legal high

So being a fan of social networking and wasting my life away on Facebook and Twitter as myself @faymondo73 and my weather tweets @liverpoolweath I have come across a new form of social networking and thought I would give it a try. So another 59p to apple via the app store and ipoo was all mine. Here is the blurb. When you open iPoo on your iPhone, you’re instantly connected with other users who are also taking a dump. You can see and create messages and drawings using our virtual stalls, poo stream, or even map view! And it’s smart – we’ll show you only the info that’s relevant to where you are. You’ll be able to see what others have posted in the same spot you are taking a dump! So all I had to do now was for nature to take its course. It wasnt long before the brown bread wa doing its magic and upstairs to the throne it was. I had lost my ipoo virginity. So here were the stats. There were 107 fellow ipooers doing the same as me. The estimated total weight of poo was 37.45 KG. For the record I has a small sloppyish one. The ipoo application noted that 3 people had diarrhea. So I browsed the drawings that people had doodled whilst doing a number two. Now it was time to test the maps. Yes it used google maps to locate people who had recently taken an ipoo by you. So below I include a screen dump, pardon the pun of recent ipoo’s in Liverpool. I dont think ipoo is gonna take off like Facebook and Twitter. So if you have an iphone join the ipoo revolution and ad me as a friend, my username is mondoplop.

The legality of the drug mephedrone will be examined “very speedily, very carefully” following the deaths of two teenagers, Lord Mandelson has said. The business secretary said the government would take “any action” needed to deal with the drug. Louis Wainwright, 18, and Nicholas Smith, 19, died in Scunthorpe on Monday after taking the drug. So its all over the news and takes me back to the days when ecstasy was always in the news as the danger drug. As ever with every death the same line is dished out. “It was little johnny’s first time he had used drugs and he isnt a drug user.” Now its a shame that these two lads have died. So the drug in question is mephedrone which you can buy online as its a plant food. Its known on the club scene as “meow” So how long before the drug is banned. I have already found a web site which ships this plant food at a cost of £12.95 per gram. So in the name of this blog I have ordered 5 kg’s and will be having a party this weekend in ours. Here are some of the testimonials on the web site for this plant food. “All of the plant food you have sold to me have got my daisies dancing and my lilies laughing”, “first class plant food ! great stuff plans are growing like mad, the flowers are sky high ;p quick and nice delivery thank you best stuff on the web xxx” So green fingers Fay will be feeding his plants and will report back as I aim to educate the public in this blog. I wonder how many cowboy web sites will be set up now and people just giving there money for free. Luckily for me I have just received an email from Albert from the allotments on North Sudley Road who said he has a ton of this gear and he, Frank and Arthur have been sitting off in his shed most night for the last 6 months. Many moons ago I drunk cider up Sudley field and now its time to hit that legal high up there. Well time to go and ive got my club 051 mix tapes a bottle of poppers and my Cafe Del Mar CD collection. To the allotments I go.

Disclaimer : Drugs are bad and this blog no way encourages the use of drugs.

Peace

Fay x x

Star Wars strip club, Talk to Frank.

So another weekend and thankfully Liverpool arent playing to spoil it. Quiet night in tonight after last weekends stag night. Pity we didnt live in downtown L.A as a bar/club called Bordello’s which has dancing girls, cabaret shows and classic burlesque shows. I have come across a special show that would have interested me and the lads last weekend. In January of this year downtown club Bordello temporarily transformed itself into Mos Eisley Cantina for a night of Tatooine-styled shenanigans helmed by Devil’s Playground. Star Wars Burlesque reimagined a host of beloved characters from the film series — from the sexy to the androgynous to the grotesque — as scantily clad female performers, with locals On Blast assuming the role of cantina band. Many of the characters from Star Wars were in the show including C3PO, Jabba The Hutt, Princess Leia, Boba Fett, Stormtroopers and of course Darth Vader. The show is basically sexy girls dressed up as Star Wars faves although I dont think Jabba The Hutt would do it for me. Just like being back in the Grafton surrounded by groups of drunken scouse Jabba The Hutt’s. So next time I am in L.A I might keep an eye out for this event and judging by the pictures below I would quite like a threesome with C3PO and a Stormtrooper !! I dont think the girls go the full hit (Its not that type of club) but I can use the force to imagine the rest.

Good old youtube throws up even more for you here, one for the dads as they say.

So another star into rehab and this time its Take That’s Mark Owen. Its the old face of drink and women this time for Mr Owen. In his defence though he states that he hasnt had an affair whilst he is married. I think the time is near that I enter rehab for my addiction to sausage rolls. I have recently moved onto jumbo sized from normal in a move one specialist drew comparisons from moving from weed to cocaine. I tried phoning up Frank but sausage rolls are only classed as class C under the misuse of drugs act. As you can see below the next step for me is Class A now I have moved onto jumbo ones. I was gonna start dealing and just do a year get in make my cash and get out but the penalties for dealing class C sausage rolls has put me off.

Class A Ecstasy, LSD, heroin, cocaine, crack, magic mushrooms, amphetamines (if prepared for injection). Plain 1/4 pounder and fries. Sausage and chips. Up to seven years in prison or an unlimited fine or both. Up to life in prison or an unlimited fine or both.
Class B Amphetamines, Cannabis, Methylphenidate (Ritalin), Pholcodine. Jumbo sausage rolls. Up to five years in prison or an unlimited fine or both. Up to 14 years in prison or an unlimited fine or both.
Class C Tranquilisers, some painkillers, Gamma hydroxybutyrate (GHB), Ketamine and sausage rolls Up to two years in prison or an unlimited fine or both. Up to 14 years in prison or an unlimited fine or both.

So remember kids drugs are bad and so are sausage rolls. If I dont blog for a few days its because of the rehab, or have I flown off to L.A for some Star Wars kinkyness ?

Peace

Fay x x

Aigburth suicide watch and Chernobyl weekend away

So its been a crazy morning in Aigburth. First up was a man in his 30’s who decided to throw himself under a 60 bus on Aigburth Road early this morning. He has survived but has numerous injuries and only half a mile away in Sefton Park a man in his 20’s decided to hang himself on the swings by the cafe. He done a better job and managed to kill himself and was found by a poor soul walking his dog. So this raises the question is Aigburth the new Bridgend ? (Notorious south Wales suicide town) As yet no further details have been released apart from the fact Arriva charged the first fella £1.80 for going less than one stop. There surely has to be better ways of committing suicide than lashing yourself under a bus causing commuter havoc or stringing yourself up on a playground. Dont think I can go to that playground again now that has happened. All this suicide talk got me onto thinking who else has committed suicide. The list is as follows.

Ian Curtis, (1980), English singer and songwritter (Joy Division), Brian Epstein, (1967), British manager of The Beatles, Tony Hancock, (1968) British comedian, Adolf Hitler, (1945), Nazi Germany’s leader,  Michael Hutchence, (1997), Australian lead singer of rock group INXS ( I thought that was a wank gone wrong ? ) Dr. David Kelly, (2003), British scientist and source of BBC story about the Dodgy Dossier, Marilyn Monroe, (1962), American actress, Vincent van Gogh, (1890), Dutch painter, Fred West, (1995), husband of convicted British killer. Killed himself whilst awaiting trial on the same crimes.

A mixed bag there indeed. One method of very slow suicide would be to visit Chernobyl. Yes that well knows 1980’s nuclear power plant that Russians denied had blown up despite a dodgy plume of radioactive fallout heading over Europe. You can actually book a trip to the site and include a cheeky weekend away in Kiev ! http://tourkiev.com/chernobyltour/ I am that boring I actually fancy that. Well somebody has been and taken some great photo’s and provided a little commentary on the trip. Click below for the fascinating pictures of Chernobyl.

Chernobyl pictures

So another fun filled blog with suicide and the Chernobyl disaster as topics. Roll on the weekend for some fun.

Peace

Fay x x