I am proud to announce to those close friends and family who dont know that the Fay family is going to have another addition. I have been looking forward to this for a few months and its been hard sitting on the secret but I wanted to make sure things went as planned. So I announce that today at about 6pm I caved in and bought an Apple ipad. Yes I know what was I doing but I am an Apple slag and have succumb to all the hype etc. So I darted down to Liverpool 1 once Mrs Fay was in and straight to the Apple shop where there were lots of ipads left. I am very proud I wasnt one of the muppets waiting from 5am in the morning, Instead I a merely a first day sheep. So its syncing as I blog and you will have to wait until late on over the weekend for my ipod review. A sneak preview is that the blog will contain such detail as I have ejaculated over it twice since ive been holding my beloved ipad and rubbing the screen gently. Luckily enough there were some baby wipes on hand as not to spoil my new screen. So Charlotte was packed off to bed and Elizabeth was just as excited as me to play with the new ipad. So a weekend of playing on it and no doubt neglecting the kids (more of that later) and not doing my household chores. Heres the kids with the new addition to the family.
So being the good husband I am, I decided to go to Tesco’s on Allerton Road to get a few bits I needed and Mrs Fay gave me a small list, well it turned out to be a big list. Now considering I was going for Diet Coke, Spaghetti and some crisps that was my non varied diet covered. So Mrs Fay added some stuff for the rest of the family who eat healthily. Little was I to know that this visit to Tezzies was gonna turn into an episode of the crystal maze for me. First up red apples and green apples. Never having eat an apple in my life it was nice to know that they came in different colours. Next was a bag of lettuce. So I guess thats not a cauliflower. After 5 mins I found that item. 100% fat free natural yogut was next on the list. FAIL I came back with some Muller light !!! Quark cheese spread, not a chance I subbed it for diet dairy lea. Done well with the bag of peppers, although guided with a note saying red, yellow and green. I then wasted 10 mins trying to find some soy sauce (light) couldve done with some help from Kenneth Hom. So just 30 seconds left to get the final item and gain a crystal for 5 seconds in the dome. Richard O’Brien was laughing at the lack of my food knowledge. Rice Crispies done. Banana’s done, just mushrooms to get. I had spent what seemed like 4 hours up and down the 2 isles of fresh food products. Hurrah I got them. Never again Mrs Fay will I go to Tezzies for a family shop unless its for burgers , chips, chicken paste and diet coke. Thats time of my life I will never get back.
So I had to work this morning 7-11 (somebody has to pay for fookin ipads) and I have to admit I showed neglect to the children. I had sorted breakfast for them and they were settled down playing with their toys. I came in from the conservatory and it was then it hit me in the face. How could I of left them alone ? What kind of parent am I ? What will Mrs fay say or social services if they are informed ? There right in front of me the kids were sat on special chairs they had pulled up to the TV. What was on………shit it was Chucklevision. Nooooooo how could this of happened. Barry and Paul Chuckle the pair of cunts their on my lovely Samsung TV. The kids glued and unmoved as I took a photo (see below) Worse was to come it was a double fookin bill. Aghhhhh well on the bright side I will be going to HMV tomorrow to buy a chucklevision DVD and lashing it on to brainwash the kids into a trance whilst I play on my ipad. “To me, to you”
Fay x x
No baby just yet, gotta let Elizabeth grow up ;0)