Tonight Matthew I am going to be Patrick Moore and 1990 flashback.

So along with a lot of the nation I turned into an astronomer last night as I headed outside to view the Perseid meteor shower.  So in homage to Sir Patrick Moore I dusted down my trusty monocle and struck up a choon on my xylophone. So I looked up to the sky and was met by a wall of cloud not to mention a few flickers of curtains to see who the madman was playing oh when the saints on the xylophone at 11.30 pm. When there was a gap in the clouds the light pollution was such that I could see just an orange glow. That glow was from the local constellation knows as The Speke Retail park. So not a glimpse of a meteor and the only shower I could see were the local cranks who live on Vineyard Street. I had to take the xylophone in as it was raining a bit and didnt want it to get rusty. A rusty xylophone is as good as flute with no holes. So another celestial let down and it brought back memories of my last one in 1999. The date was August 11th 1999 and the UK was going to see a total eclipse. This was a once in a lifetime chance. So armed with my solar eclipse glasses, you had to wear them because you didnt want to end up blind I headed of to my sneaky vantage point to see the event. So off to Everton Park it was and a lovely view down over the city, I plonked my glasses on and waited for this great event. Well as you might of guessed that too was a let down. The sky and light went a funny tint for a bit and that was that. So its September 23rd 2090 for the next one. I will have just celebrated my 117th birthday. The only eclipse that I got to see in 1999 was that of my junior beer belly eclipsing the view of my feet for the first time, a special moment indeed.

First blog this week as our phone line has been down and our internet speed was as fast as it was back in the golden age of eclipses 1999. I being the nerd I am being one of the first of my mates etc to be on the next and at a whopping speed of 56k and a cost of 1p per min I was shocked to get my first internet bill of around £80 for a month. Surely it was still more economical to stay with porn magazines in the early days of the internet. I jest of course as I didnt need the internet or magazines as I had a pack of rude playing cards from a holiday to Spain which were shot in the 1970’s. I was out drinking on a Wednesday night , second week on the run. Bit of a naughty school night habit there and I met an old school chum and we had a beer and talked about old times blah blah blah. Then another blast from the past via Facebook and a quick chat with a girl I used to hang around with back in 1990 (Pippa Davis.)  She paid a nice compliment to this here blog and we chatted about the days of getting drunk down Otterspool prom and the fashion and music crimes that occurred. Then the moment I have dreaded, new unseen pictures of me in 1990 existed. So being game for a laugh and its something to ramble on about on here. I present N.G.Fay 1990 age 16.

So where do we start ? Well it was nice to see such a radiant young smile on my face. The young Meldrew was obviously starting to surface even then and to think this was a party as well. Such a lovely head of hair as well but we can go no further without the mention of two of the largest crimes to mankind. I expect to be appearing in The Hague next week and sit in the very seat that Naomi Campbell has been giving evidence in this week. The charges I am accused of are as follows. Charge one is relating to crimes against fashion in 1990 and the wearing of a paisley shirt. Little did I know that the making and selling of such paisley shirts contributed towards funding of African war lords but to be honest that is nothing compared to looking like a twat. I honestly have no recollection of owning that shirt. When news of the fashion crime pictures broke on Facebook I had a few things I expected to see but that was not one. As I type I am on the phone to Max Clifford to make a call to Pippa to stop any further publication of pictures from 1990. I plead guilty to that charge against me. The second and more serious charge is of sporting what can only be described as a “spammy” or love bite. Having such a great memory I plead the defence of being hit by a squash ball earlier that day and rumours of me putting toothpaste on my neck that night (did that really work ??) and sporting a polar neck jumper the next day to hide it from my mum and dad are not true and I am found not gulity on a technicality.
So I couldnt resist one more look for a meteor before I went to bed and yes I seen jack shit again. So in the words of Frankie Goes to Hollywood “Shooting stars never stop, even when they reach the top” – Welcome to the pleasuredome.
Peace and thanks Pippa
Fay x x

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