Its official I am an athlete and jarg Twix.

So Saturday night and no kids and no Mrs Fay, it could mean only one thing. Loads of beer and munchies with lots of gaming and catching up on sky plus followed by a nice lie in on Sunday then get the papers and have some sausage barms. Well errrr no. I was in bed for 10 pm again and the alarm clock was set as I had to be up for 6am to go and do our triathlon. So the alarm went and we headed up to Clitheroe in Colins van to set ourselves up for the Clitheroe triathlon. So first up would be me in the swim of 400m (16 lengths) with a start time of 8.45am handing over to Colin for the bike ride of 30km and Scott to finish off with a 9km run. So with some top bombin I entered the pool and off I set. I made the fatal mistake of setting off too fast and after 3 lengths thought I was going to drown. I did nearly drown after my first length. I had been training in the pool at David Lloyd which is all the same depth so when I went to turn around I went to stand up and push off. One snag there is a deep end in Clitheroe pool and down I went like the Titanic. Not the best of starts. I found a ledge at the end of my 3rd length wich helped. So the 2 lengths to go sign was produced and it was then a quick jump out the pool and the jog to the changeover point outside so the lucky lasses of Clitheroe got to see me jogging some what out of breath over the grass in just my shorts. Speaking of which I was the only male with swimming shorts the rest of the competitors were sporting the latest lycra fashions. Couldve been worse I might have turned up in full scouse mode with my Liverpool shorts on. So I passed the ankle strap onto Colin and away he headed on his bike. So back to the changies to cover my man boobs up and I overheard a couple of fellow athletes saying how they were members of swimming clubs blah blah blah no wonder they looked like fish in the pool. So Colin came back out of breath and handed over to Scott for the run. Colins bike ride at one point was so steep that all the people on the ride had to get off their bikes and walk with them. Me and Colin took advantage of Scott being on his run and popped over to the catering van. Hard work being a pro athlete. So in the distance we seen Scott headed towards us and he was over the finish line and that was that we would have to wait for the results to be published later on in the evening. There were 17 teams in the relay so where would we finish ? It was nice being an athlete for a day and I am going to try and do a full triathlon on my own next  year once the new season starts, yes they have seasons. So onto the results. In training in the gym I had been doing about 10 mins 20. So including getting out of the pool and also around a 30 second jog my time was 10 mins 22 seconds. I couldve overtaken a woman on the run and give it the bifters on the run but it was a bit of fun for me and didnt want to look like a knob head ( The fact I was running around a field in Clitheroe wet and semi naked was enough for one day) Colin done his bike in 1 hour 11 mins and 19 seconds and Scotts 9km run was measured at 43 mins 37 seconds. So a total time of 2 hours 5 mins and 18 seconds which gave us 9th place out of 17. Including all the people doing the triathlon on their own we finished 104th out of 209. So after a quick stop to see my dad we headed back home to Liverpool and the first step to London 2012 has been taken and for one day ( 10 mins 22 seconds) today I was an athlete.

So its important for an athlete to refuel and Sunday night I had 6 bottles on Brahma beer and I noticed in the shop a new Twix. Now Twix is my fave chocolate treat and how excited was I to see a new Twix called a Twix Fino. So on checking the net the blurb on the fino is as follows. Twix Fino has a wafer base rather than a biscuit base and each finger contains less than 100 calories, compared to the normal Twix biscuit fingers which contain 130 calories per finger. The product is looking to be marketed towards the female, health conscious market, competing with other brands lower calorie chocolate products, such as KitKat Senses. A twin-pack Twix Fino will retail at 52p. Straight away the alarm bells were ringing. A Twix with no biscuit this cant be true and its deffo not a diet Twix. So I soon scoffed the new Fino and it was as shite as I thought it would be. How can they bring the lord of chocolates name into such disrepute ? To make up for my sins the next Twix I buy will be a king size one. So Sunday evening and another night on my own and it was at this point I was feeling the gap left by Mrs Fay and the kids. Or should I say Mrs Fay. I was down to no plates left and would have to actually wash the dishes in order for me to eat. Well the good news is that Mrs Fay and the kids are back from London and if I dont blog for a few days it will be because Mrs Fay has read this and twatted me with the frying pan. I love her really x x


Fay x x


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