Rooney and world smallest man and mother (not a gangbang ! )


So another weekend whizzes by. I worked Friday and Saturday this week to make up for the bank holiday. Im glad there are no more bank holidays until chrimbo as I dont get paid for them and they cock my working week up. So I finished work at 11.30 on Saturday and it was down to Liverpool Cricket Club armed with my cool bag filled with a selection of Strongbow cider, sausage rolls and Seabrooks crisps. How predictable of me. So Lancashire put Worcestershire into bat who went onto score 258 from their overs. So a quick break and Lancashire came into bat, as the day went on we watched less cricket and chatted more shite as the effects of the grog kicked in. Lancashire started their innings well but had a slump in the middle and eventually won the game with 5 balls to spare. It was an average turn out for a Lancashire game at Liverpool and there was only one small stand which we sat in to start off with but moved around the ground later on. So the match was over and we headed over to The Kingsman pub. So after only a couple of extra pints I made the sensible decision to head home about 8pm so I wouldnt be too rough on Sunday. When i got home the people opposite were having a bbq and Mrs Fay and the kids were over there. So the excellent decision to go home early had been scuppered and I fell into ours about 12am and another 5 cans were sunk which led to me having a slight headache come Sunday morning.

So poor old Tony Blair had to cancel his book signing after his last one he was pelted with missiles. I read on twitter that Tony Blair was shitting himself as the protestors could launch eggs and slippers at just 45 mins notice. Sounds familiar that ! I wonder if they were size 11 Dr Martins or your more traditional Iraq slipper which wouldnt hurt too much. But anyway no more autographed books, gotta be pretty sad to get a copy signed

In Columbia the new worlds smallest man has been declared. At 70cm (27-inch) tall the Colombian has been named the world’s shortest living man by Guinness World Records. Edward Nino Hernandez, 24, weighs only 10kg (22lbs). His mother said he had not grown since he was two years old. Mr Hernandez, who works part-time as a dancer, told the Associated Press: “I feel happy because I’m unique.” He better cash in now as Mr Hernandez is not expected to keep the title of world’s shortest man for long due to hagendra Thapa Magar of Nepal is expected to take the title when he turns 18 in October. Khagendra, currently recognised as the world’s shortest living teenager, is only 56cm (22in) tall. Nice to see he has pets (see below) but on the scale of things they are like St Bernards to us and Mr Hernandez is in great danger of being mauled to death by them two dogs. He has also got his Guinness certificate leaning against the wall I see. Well I suppose he wanted it at eye level.

Cant leave the blog without a mention of our great England footballer Wayne Rooney. With the latest alleged stories of more prozzy visits (who can forget his granny shagging on Aigburth Road just down the road from where I live) Mr Rooney has been at it again. Now if Wayne’s got a heart and for Colleens benefit I suggest that he packs in his vice addiction and instead when he feels weak look at the picture above and arrange for Mr Hernandez to spend a night with a £1000 pound a night escort. Now researching world smallest everything I can across the world smallest mother !! Ok here it goes this was last November and in the Daily Mail. The world’s smallest mother is about to give birth for the third time – despite warnings she is risking her life. Stacey Herald, who is just 2ft 4in tall, was told that becoming pregnant could kill her, but bravely defied doctors to have two babies half her height. Baby number 3 was a boy and after some difficulties is now home with the rest of the family. For the women out there Malachi was born by a rare vertical caesarian which does what it say on the tin. Now I will leave that at that without descending into mockery but will leave you with just one observation why has she got a giant syringe or is she really that small ?

Thankfully I have a super injunction against the Merseymart stopping the printing sordid details of a the night I came out of the o-five one and stayed in the Adelphi with 6 of the 7 dwarves from the 1995 pantomime at the Liverpool Empire and Pete Price.

Peace

Fay x x

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