Merseymart exclusive by Pippa Davis


Todays blog has been handed over to Pippa Davis who has an exclusive for the South Liverpool Merseymart.

South Liverpool footballer in shame.


I can today reveal that an not very well known south Liverpool footballer can be outed in a sex and drugs scandal. We can now plot the downfall of ex Aigburth Peoples Hall and Sudley FC player Neil Fay (36) thats his age not waist size (38 fat bastard) who has been in decline since his playing days finished (some say at the age of 14) The first exclusive is that Neil was spotted going into Greggs the bakers in Belle Vale shopping centre Liverpool on numerous occasions. As we all know Mr Fay from Speke/Garston (more Garston than Speke) has a lucrative contract sorry addiction with Greggs arch rival Sayers. We can also reveal that Fay was also seen going into the now famous number 92 on Aigburth Road although we must note for legal reasons it wasnt the same time as when Wayne Rooney was there banging older women. An ex worker from number 92 who wishes to remain anonymous but is better known as Barb “the golden granny” Jones from Scotty Road revealed that Fay liked nothing better than Greggs sausage rolls to be massaged into him and even on his secret Sayers tattoo on his inner thigh. The revelations dont stop there though. We can also exclusively reveal that Fay was also addicted to drugs. Several local chemists have come forward and confirmed that Fay bought several grammes of Lemsip on more than one occasion. I mean how often can a man get man flu ? The extent of Fay’s sex and drug excesses meant that he once missed a vital game for Sudley FC on a sunday against Lodge Lane in which Sudley slipped to an 8-1 defeat without their talisman Fay. We contacted Neil Fay’s agent on Saturday. Eileen Roper who also doubles up as his Nan (94) was unavailable for comment as she was watching Neighbours on UK gold. Be sure to buy sorry read your free Merseymart next week as we have part two on the Neil Fay story now the super injunction has been lifted and what has been common knowledge in Aigburth Vale can now be printed. “Neil Fay and Ricky Hatton the truth”

Pippa Davis, showbiz correspondent South Liverpool Merseymart and The Framley Examiner http://www.framley.com/

So in other news the real fucking scandal is that kids shoes are being sold for £47 a pop. My daughter Elizabeth wanted a pair or Lelli Kelly shoes for her birthday. At £47 quid a pop when Mrs Fay told me I went into shock and didnt have a drink for at least 10 mins as I was frozen to the spot. When I came too and stopped swearing we decided if she got money for her birthday she could buy a pair once we had slotted a tenner each (is that wrong ?) So on Saturday she went into town and bought the afore mentioned Lelli Kellys. Now for £47 you did get a free mini lipstick container (see pic in the middle.) When she bought the shoes the lady advised her to wear them in the house and put socks on as they can rub when first bought. So £47 quid and you cant even play out in the fookers straight away ? Its a scandal. The news of the world should be concentrating on this and not sports stars shagging and taking drugs I mean look at the Merseymart this week for fooks sake. So I leave you with the £47 Lelli Kelly (who is she ?) Well this is from the web site . “In the insole, under the leather layer, there is a soft LATEX FOAM ® with a component that captures wetness and holds it into a gel. Moisture is released through holes in the sides of the outsole throughout the day and evaporates completely when shoes are removed. It is always advisable to take out the insole when the girl is not wearing Lelli Kelly, so that the Lelli Kelly LATEX FOAM ® can carry out its function at its best.” Ahh and heres me thinking Elizabeth has wasted £50 ?

Ive got a spare £50, now shall I buy some Lelli Kellys or get two bags and go out for a party with Ricky Hatton ? Them shoes sure do look nice.

Peace

Fay x x

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