Guess who’s back, back again. Faymondo’s back tell a friend. Guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back. guess who’s back. Ok so my blogs might not be a lyrically good as Eminem but I am refreshed after a lovely week in Lanzarote. I’m a story teller and my story must be told……….. A long time ago in a suburb far far away (Garston) Faymondo set off on his travels to Manchester airport en route to Playa Blanca in Lanzarote. In true family trips out tradition Elizabeth was asking “are we there yet ?” and Charlotte needed a wee. So we pulled over not far from Manchester airport and she then decided she didnt need one. A week of this I was thinking !! I had come away to unwind after working for a year not stop for Faymondo Benefits Limited. So soon we were on the plane keeping the kids entertained with various ipods, ipads and ianything that would keep them amused for the four hour flight. The kids were very good on the plane and so was Mrs Fay. I had a scary Glastonbury flashback when I had a can of Magners not for the purpose of getting pissed but for refreshment only. At least it wasnt 9am like in Glasto. So soon we were in Arrecife airport and you get that blast of heat when you get off the plane that tells you are on holiday and an hour later we were in the resort. We walked through passport control with nobody there when Mrs Fay asked why is there nobody there. I could only assume that with no free ride in benefits etc that it’s not number one destination for asylum seekers, although no doubt soon all the asylum seekers who have come over to England will be going on holiday for a few weeks in Spain to get some better weather.
So for review purposes we stayed at the Aparthotel Sun Royal in Playa Blanca Click here for more details which was situated about a 10 min walk from the promenade walk and bang in the middle of the Marina Rubicon to your left and the main port to your right both another 15/20 min walk along the prom. The apartment had two big pools and two baby pools and we were on the lower level with a patio near to the pool. Lanzarote has one high rise hotel and after that was built a law was passed to say nothing bigger than 4 floors can be built. It also has a kids play area and entertainment and you can go all inclusive but save yourself a few hundred quid and just upgrade when you get there. We didnt go all inclusive though. So enough of the reviews and a few selected memorable moments from the holiday. First up was the kids entertainment and a character called Tapi who is best described as a one toothed giant rectangle. He came out and danced to his Tapi song every day and had a Tapi disco every night at 9. A long way from clubbing it until 6am at Space in Ibiza how the mighty have fallen. Charlotte didnt like Tapi and was freaked out by him although she did finally give him a high five on the last night. There was one moment when Tapi came out for his dance and Charlotte legged it away. She is very confident in the pool, jumping in etc as I take her swimming every week. I was swimming in the big pool and she seen me in the distance and as she ran away in terror from Tapi she just jumped straight into the pool. One problem she forgot she didnt have any armbands on. So I swam towards her but quick as a flash Mrs Fay ran in what seemed like slow motion with long flowing blonde hair and bouncing breasts and jumped in and got Charlotte before me. Lanzarote Baywatch right before my eyes. My very own Pamela Anderson, how lucky am I ? So we went to the Tapi Disco just twice and done the Tapi dance. As you can see this big red bastard thing Tapi was a big part of the holiday and I felt like Rodney in the groovy gang in Only Fools and Horses. So much that you could buy a Tapi replica toy and also a CD with all Tapi’s songs on. So being the nice dad I am bought two and sneaked them in the case for when we came home as a treat for the kids. So when we got home (more of that in the next blog !!!! ) the kids went fast asleep and I placed their new Tapi’s in bed with them and when they woke up in the morning they were overjoyed. I felt like a Tapi father christmas. So what else happened, what about the nightmare trip home well you will have to tune in tomorrow as this blog is long enough. As Nick Ross would say on crimewatch “Please dont have nightmares, instances of Tapi’s are very rare indeed”
Fay x x