Movember – Kevin Webster this year.

So a day early for halloween and its this years “Movember” Muzzi. I am all trimmed down and ready to reveal that this year Matthew I am going to be Kevin Webster. So its scare the kids time and Mrs Fay said it reminds me of her dad. No more smooching then, unless Mrs Fay and the clan have some dark secrets to reveal to me. I always did think they were a strange lot them in-laws especially uncle Clive with the two heads. So whats Movember about ? The ‘Mo’, slang for moustache, and November come together each year for Movember.  Each Movember we challenge men to change their appearance and the face of men’s health by growing a moustache. The moustache is our ribbon, the means by which we raise awareness and funds for prostate cancer. Much like the commitment to run or walk for charity, my commitment is to grow a moustache for 30 days. Funds raised benefit The Prostate Cancer Charity. Last year I raised just under £200 with my porn star muzzi and you can read my muzzi blogs here https://faymondo.wordpress.com/2009/12/

So this year as mentioned is more of a Kevin Webster. So please donate if you can, even if its just £1 as it all adds up. To donate online CLICK HERE or if you wish just pass the cash to me and I will donate through the Movember web page and put your name up. So lets see how much good I can do this year and see if I get any good blog material out of the 2010 muzzi. So here it is for starters I present Neil “Kevin Webster” Fay. Enjoy your Halloween.

Peace

Fay x x

Take That ticket hunt, a success.

So 9am and half the female population of the UK (and some males as well it must be said in this modern era of equal rights for all and lets face it will be most of Jason’s mates allegedly)  are trying to get Take That tickets. I know that Mrs Fay is eager to see some lads edging towards 40 and in some cases past 40 try and strut their stuff and transport them back to being teenagers and give them that special tingle downstairs. At ticket prices at £60 upwards I suggest bang the greatest hits CD on after a quick trip to Ann Summers to get yourself a special Take That toy and still be £50 in pocket, that is unless your went for the super turbo Take That rabbit ;0) Well I too am edging towards 40 and have had battles with my weight over the years, not to mention the drug, alcohol, sausage roll and sex addictions I have had over the years. (You will have to guess which one is true ) It is also true that I can sing and dance a bit. So with your spare £50 left over from Ann Summers you can come and see me perform the greatest hits of Take That at Garston Royal Legion on Saturday June 4th 2011 for just £2.50 which includes free raffle and free bingo. So after a few hours trying I finally got the ticket I was after to give Mrs Fay as a nice surprise next year when Take That play Manchester on Saturday 4th June 2011 which clashes with my date at Garston Legion. The bad news is that I couldnt get the ticket for the Manchester gig. The good news is that I did get a ticket for Wembley on the 3rd July. Here is the surprise, its a used one from 2009. Only cost me £2.25 on e-bay, Take That and party !!!!

Joking apart I hope you get your tickets. I know what its like after being on several computers and the phone from 9am to 1pm trying to get Glasto tickets with no joy. At least the people who want to go get them. No doubt all the touts have Take That tickets. Good luck.

Peace

Fay x x

Southside Johnny and my new muzzi

So time for another blog and whats been going on in the little world of me ? Well last night I went to see Southside Johnny and The Asbury Jukes. Who I hear you say. Well he’s in his early 60’s and started making music in the mid 70’s and was part of the Bruce Springsteen led Jersey shore sound. The music he plays is a blues with a hint of rock at times. So we went for a pint in “The Globe” by Clayton Square, a proper old mans pub. How I pine for the days to pass where I dont have to work and can just sit in Liverpool’s finest old mans boozers having a few pints a day and a little bet. It was then in for a quick pint in Ma Edgerton’s before heading to the O2 academy to watch the concert. Southside Johnny at times were excellent but also at times average. I much preferred the slower  songs than the rock sounding numbers and of course anything blues. The Asbury Jukes were an excellent band which were  a 4 man horns section, 2 main guitars, 1 bass player, 1 drummer and last but by no means least the keyboard player. A decent performance overall and the song of the night for me was “The Fever” So a post concert beer in O’Neill’s and I had the fever to have a chip barm from my beloved Lobster Pot. I had missed the last train home so had to get a taxi (I am a mingebag) and as we walked out the Lobster Pot the shutters came down so I nearly missed the chippy, which was the main reason went to the concert anyway.

Now I like the motto if it aint broke dont fix it. So when watching the football league show on BBC the other night it came to the bit were the league tables are shown. In days gone by at the end of Grandstand it was letters and numbers stuck to a board filmed by a camera then the computer age came and it was all computer graphics. Now alas a new twist to the tale. The football league show have decided to have the computer graphic but have the presenter (Manish Bhasin) look sideways at the table as he talks about who has moved up and down etc ? What is the reason for this ? First up the graphic is smaller as he takes up a third of the screen and second he looks like a proper tit as he says and let’s look at league one and then turns to look at the table (Which he obviously cant see)  This gave me an idea that we could swap the graphic and maybe have one saying nothing here you bell end or a picture of a naked fat man with a willy like a walnut whip. Oh well needed to get that off my hairy chest.

So its halloween on Sunday night and time to get the traditional hope I dont see my mother in law out on her broomstick and im sure she has put a spell on me gags out of the way. No doubt we will do something for the kids and I will end up having a few beers and eating loads of chocolate and sweets. Looks like somebody has put a spell on Indonesia. Parts of it was hit my another Tsunami this week and another part hit by a volcano. The footage from the original boxing day tsunami still astounds me (The geography geek in me) and I donated some money to the cause as I felt guilty with my chrimbo prezzies, loads of ale and selection boxes. Speaking of charity I am ready to do “Movember” this year and this time in the correct month of November as opposed to December last year. So on the 31st I will be shaving my beard I have grown down to a muzzi. After last years porn star style I think I will go for a classic “Kevin Webster” look this year. I know times are tight with money but any donation is appreciated. I managed to raise just under £200 last year so thats this years aim. Some come on it will be worth it to see me crusing the streets of Liverpool with my new muzzi and getting funny looks in the gym. Here is the donation page Link Here and I will post the first pic of my new bumfluff on November 1st.

Peace

Fay x x

A mass brawl and Lacoste and none of it in Speke !

So what’s been in the news this week ? First up is Canadian American football or is that just Canadian football ? With fans outside Rooney’s house you could half expect him to do a Cantona style attack on the fans, thats assuming he wasnt out spending a couple of grand getting his end away. But with just 13.7 seconds left on the clock, members of the St Leonard Cougars decided enough was enough and charged into the stand where they say fans of the Hamilton Hurricanes had been abusing them. See the action below.

Fun and games there I will sure you will agree. If only Roy Hodgson showed such passion, jumping into the main stand at Liverpool and lamping somebody. In all honesty it would take Hodgson around 70 mins to decide to do this and even then it would only wake up a few of the fans who had fallen asleep watching Liverpool. A point to add here im sure my dad fell asleep during the derby last Sunday. Is that how bad Liverpool have become ?

Now I must admit I have a strange curiosity with plane crashes and often dream about one crashing in the river Mersey, well you cant dream of busty blondes all the time can you ? So in the news this week was this story. A plane crashed in the Democratic Republic of The Congo. It has now emerged that the crash was caused by the concealed reptile escaping and causing a stampede in the cabin, throwing the aircraft off-balance.  A lone survivor apparently relayed the bizarre tale to investigators. The crocodile survived the crash, only to be dispatched with a blow from a machete. According to the inquiry report and the testimony of the only survivor, the crash happened because of a panic sparked by the escape of a crocodile hidden in a sports bag. One of the passengers had hidden the animal, which he planned to sell, in a big sports bag, from which the reptile escaped as the plane began its descent into Bandundu. A report of the incident said: “The terrified air hostess hurried towards the cockpit, followed by the passengers.” The plane was then sent off-balance “despite the desperate efforts of the pilot”, said the report. Ive had a little read over the report purely for research for the blog and by some strange co-incidence the sports bag was a Lacoste bag which also contained several cartons of “Um bongo” Now im sure you all know that Um Bongo is the national drink of The Congo, or thats what I was taught in school in the 1980’s. So here is a treat and the second video of the blog and the original Um Bongo advert.

Thats your lot for today and a blog containing information of a brawl and Lacoste and none of it in Speke. Beware though im just off out to Speke retail so all that might change.

Peace

Fay x x

Lets put these 33 down the mine !!

As mentioned on my last blog I have decided that the mine in Chile should not be wasted and I have decided on 33 replacements for the rescued miners. They must still be alive. So here it goes.

  1. Florencio Avalos……………….Margaret Hilda Thatcher
  2. Mario Sepulveda……………….James Nesbett
  3. Juan Lllanes……………………Sir Alex Ferguson
  4. Carlos Mamani……………….Graeme Norton
  5. Jimmy Sanchez……………….Kay Burley
  6. Osman Araya………………….Garth Crooks
  7. Jose Ojeda…………………….George W Bush
  8. Claudio Yanez………………..Nick Griffin
  9. Mario Gomez………………….Kelvin Mckenzie
  10. Alex Vega Salazar……………David Moyes
  11. Jorge Galleguillos……………Bryan Adams
  12. Edison Pena………………….David McElhinney
  13. Carlos Barrios……………….Gary Neville
  14. Victor Zamora……………….Margi Clarke
  15. Victor Segovia……………….Tom Hicks
  16. Daniel Herrera………………George Gillette
  17. Omar Reygadas……………..Lady Gaga
  18. Esteban Rojas……………….Tim Henman
  19. Pablo Rojas………………….Billy Connoly
  20. Dario Sergovia………………Rob Beasley
  21. Yonni Barrios……………….Simon Cowell
  22. Samuel Avalos………………William Hague
  23. Carlos Bugueno…………….Ashley Cole
  24. Jose Henriquez…………….Robbie Williams
  25. Renan Avalos………………David Cameron
  26. Claudio Acuna……………..Kerry Katona
  27. Franklin Lobos…………….Ian Huntley
  28. Richard Villarroel…………Tony Blair
  29. Juan Aguilar……………….Sepp Blatter
  30. Raul Bustos………………..Katie Price
  31. Pedro Cortez……………….. Nick Clegg
  32. Ariel Ticona………………..Wayne Rooney
  33. Luis Urzua…………………. Any person who puts stuff on a hamburger of mine when I have specifically asked for a plain burger ;0)

That was harder than I thought. Feel free to add your selection(s) in the comments box.

Peace

Fay x x

Sheryl Crow, some miners and Solomon Burke.

So Tuesday night and it was off the The Manchester Apollo or O2 Apollo in its current sponsorship and me and Mrs Fay were off to see Sheryl Crow. We had seen her on two previous occasions in Dublin in 2004, where I first felt Elizabeth kick in Claire’s tummy , awwwwww and a few years back in London. So we got to the Apollo in good time and enough to sink a few ciders before the concert, well a speedily necked 6 cans of Gaymers. First up was the support and a fella called James Walsh who was in Starsailor who had a few hits in the early 2000’s. He had a very good voice and performed the Starsailor song “alcoholic” in his set and thankfully didnt dedicate it to me. So onto the main show and Sheryl cam on looking mighty good for her age (48) and a bit on the skinny side. The tour was to promote her 7th studio album “100 miles to Memphis” The album has a soul influence and that rubbed of on a great performance by her and her band and backing singers. So what were the highlights for me we a great cover version of Terence Trent Darby’s “Sign your name”, a superb acoustic version of “Redemption Day’ which was covered by Johnny Cash on his last American recordings album (See video below) and the last song of the night was a beautiful gospel soul tinged version of “I Shall Believe.”  I must say an excellent concert and 8/10 and I look forward to the next time Sheryl tours.

So we got home just before midnight and a quick check on Sky News and I was met by a counter on the top left of the screen. Miners rescued 0 of 33. Yes it was time for Sky to hit hyper news mode with wall to wall coverage of the rescue of them miners from Chile. As somebody posted on twitter “The media gathered at the mine seem in really good spirits. Its like summer on Rothbury all over again.” I posed the question which of the 33 miners was the bitch ? He should come up first as his arse will be sore ! Thankfully all is going well so far in the rescue attempt and with Liverpool’s victory in court today I do love the irony, it’s Thatcher’s birthday and the whole world is focused on a mine not to mention happy scousers.  So the mine count is at number 18 as I type this and the tension builds for miner 21 who now has a wife waiting and also his bit on the side has revealed herself. Who will be at the pod when he come out. He might decide to stay down there for some peace and quiet. Imagine being trapped underground for two months only to come up to your missus finding out about your bit of totty on the side ? Im sure sky will there with full coverage of any fireworks that occur. On his was up is number n-n-n-n-n-n nineteen for those of you who can remember the 80’s number one single of the same name. So just another 14 after him and I will nearly have the full collection for my panini Chilean Sticker album. Just waiting for the double sticker of the bit they were trapped in and the foil badges of the mining company and the flag of Chile and last but not least the famous rescue pod. I think for an extra blog I might pick 33 replacements to stay in the mine, the mind boggles at who I can put in !!

Cant go without a final mention of a musical hero of mine who died on Sunday. I noticed Solomon Burke after he performed on Jools Holland one new year and then went on to discover his records and his influence on modern music. This is from the wall street journal “Solomon Burke, the American soul singer and songwriter who enjoyed two distinct periods of musical creativity and audience approval, died Sunday in the Netherlands. He was 70 years old. Burke was on his way from Los Angeles to a concert performance when he was found dead at Schiphol Airport outside Amsterdam. The cause of death has yet to be determined. A bear of a man whose weight easily exceeded 400 pounds, Burke was a soul giant whose career spanned five decades. He won a Grammy in 2003 for a comeback album; two years earlier, he was elected to the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame. Jerry Wexler, who produced Mr. Burke’s tracks for Atlantic Records, declared him “the best soul singer of all time,” and he was known to fans as “The King of Rock and Soul.” Among those fans were the Rolling Stones, who recorded his composition “Everybody Needs Somebody to Love” and shared a stage with him in Los Angeles during their 2002-03 world tour.

Burke was born in Philadelphia. With his grandmother’s encouragement, he began to sing professionally and was recording gospel albums by his early teen years. In 1960, he signed with Atlantic. His first hit, “Just Out of Reach (Of My Two Open Arms),” had been a success for country singer Patsy Cline. Burke’s smoky, expressive baritone cut through a saccharine, string-laden arrangement to blend country and soul, two influences he would revisit throughout his 50-year career. In 1962, he scored another hit with “Cry to Me,” a punchy bit of sweet soul that was a hit again 25 years later when the Burke version appeared in the film “Dirty Dancing.”

Burke receded from the spotlight in the early 1970s and worked as an undertaker and mortician in Los Angeles, his adopted home. He continued to preach the gospel and was recognized by the Catholic Church; the Vatican invited him to perform at its Jubilee of the Family in 2000. It’s said that Pope John Paul II was a fan.

In 2002, Burke enjoyed a well-deserved revival when producer Joe Henry recruited Elvis Costello, Bob Dylan, Nick Lowe, Van Morrison, Tom Waits (who once called Burke “one of the architects of American music”), Brian Wilson and others to contribute new songs for Burke to record. The resulting album, “Don’t Give Up on Me,” won a Grammy Award as Best Contemporary Blues Album. With Burke’s deep, powerful voice as its centerpiece, the album burst with old-school soul and R&B, underscored by contemporary arrangements. Burke was among the contributing musicians, also playing guitar and piano. Several tracks from the album were used to enhance dramatic moments on TV shows like “The Wire,” “House” and “The O.C.”

Back in the spotlight, in 2006 Burke issued “Nashville,” a country album produced by Buddy Miller that featured Patty Griffin, Emmylou Harris, Dolly Parton and others as duet partners. A year later, Burke was among the featured performers honoring Atlantic Records founder Ahmet Ertegun: Along with contemporaries Ben E. King, Sam Moore and Percy Sledge, he performed at a private party in London following the Ertegun tribute concert at the O2. Seeking yet another generation of fans, in 2008 Burke entertained audiences at the Bonnaroo and Glastonbury festivals. That same year, he toured throughout Europe, as he did earlier this year.

Burke was traveling to the Netherlands to perform with De Dijk, a Dutch rock band with whom he recorded recently. “Hold on Tight,” the album they cut together, is available online as a free download, and videos of Burke working with the band are posted on YouTube.

Burke is the father of 21; he has 90 grandchildren and 19 great-grandchildren, according to reports. His family posted the following on his website: “This is a time of great sorrow for our entire family. We truly appreciate all of the support and well wishes from his friends and fans. Although our hearts and lives will never be the same, his love, life and music will continue to live within us forever.” I was lucky enough to see him live twice once at Manchester Academy and then at the Barbican Centre in London. A great voice and im gutted I never got to take the father in law to see him or see him perform at Glasto. Here is the performance on Jools Holland that caught my attention.

Peace and RIP Solomon and good luck with the wife miner 21.

Fay x x

Sudley school penalties and Balamory exclusive.

In the words of the Michael Gray song ” I cant wait for the weekend to begin.” If only to crack open a bottle of Corona which I have done starting to write another installment of Faymondo’s blog. For all stat fans out there this is blog 190 ( Have I really typed 189 other pieces of shite ? ) Total hits so far is 12,994 although I do admit that some of them will be spam. So today I volunteered to be a goalie in Elizabeths school (Sudley infants) They were having a charity day and each class would come in and take 3 penalties each at the goalie. I have been a goalie in the past and yes even a goal scoring goalie (It was a pen) so after dropping Elizabeth off I went around to the office to meet the other goalies (parents) So we were given our visitor sticker (see below) and marched into the school hall. The very same school hall that 31 years earlier I wouldve been siting in my shorts as a 3rd year infant (or year two as its now called.) So in all that time here on planet earth I was after going through Sudley juniors, Calderstones and uni and now on my third proper job in the same school hall saving penalties no doubt as I was a much smaller and deffo much thinner little me was back in the late 1970’s. How far had I come ? Is it good or bad that in 37 years I had literally gone nowhere ? Makes you think if anything. So after a team photo with all the other parents taking part it was time for the penalties. I was allowed to go in goal for Elizabeths class and she was given the honour of going first. Now I dont let her win at anything so was I going to humiliate her in front of her class and pull of some stunning world class saves and deny her a goal ? First pen and up she runs in her Spain kit the keeper goes right and Elizabeth hits it left and wide 1-0 to me. Penalty number two and  up she runs. I go left after watching her first penalty (Yes I am taking it seriously) and she pulls it wide left again 2-0 to me. So Elizabeth is in the last chance saloon. The rest of her class are cheering her on, im thinking clean sheet here kid concentrate. She runs up and its on target. It was at this point the angel on my left shoulder knocked the devil out on my right one. I dive out the way and its a goal, the school hall erupts to a very high pitched noise. Elizabeth was happy and also very proud that her dad had came to be a goalie. So I completed my go in goal against the rest of the class and let many an easy goal past me but I have a confession to make. Whenever a child in an Everton top pulled up to take a pen I wanted to save them all and pump my fists like it was the world cup final. I didnt of course and let the goals in and can only hope my father will forgive me now he knows of this sin. So after an hour of being a goalie and ball boy it was the other parents turn and I got off to eat a well earned sayers cumberland barm. It was nice to put something if only very little back into the school that taught me and now my children. They gave me a nice thank you card with the team photo of us on the front and I also got to keep my visitor sticker.

So after picking up Charlotte she sat down to a well crafted lunch of ham butties, cucumber (who can forget the time I cut up a courgette and gave it her, well it was green and long !! ) and some Wotsits. She demanded that Balamory came on and thankfully we had an old DVD of Elizabeths which we watched when I had flashbacks to when Balamory was the Peppa Pig of its day in this household. Those of you who dont know what Balamory is can finish reading now. A quick Wikipedia and it seems Balamory was axed after just 4 series. I know you should never trust Wiki but one of them is now a bus driver (Spencer) and another is a comedian (Archie) I know that is deffo true. It seems however that Miss Hoolie (The nursery teacher) has fallen on hard times. After earning over 44k a year and would now be expecting to lose her child benefits (Little bit of politics for the dads) she is now fallen on hard times and as the exclusive photo below shows has reached the point that I reach about 7.30 pm every Friday night. It is alleged that after a drunken romp with Penny Pocket (at least you cant call her disablist ! ) she was sacked from Balamory nursery. The final straw was when P.C Plum arrested Miss Hoolie for shoplifting vodka and razor blades at the local Balamory Spar. Please note for legal reasons I once again use the word allegedly.

Peace

Fay x x