So Friday night and it was time for my first gig of the year. I was of to see Henry Priestman support Port Issac’s Fishermans Friends. Originally me and the father in law were going to the gig but I received a message off Henry on Facebook saying he had two spaces on his guest list for me so two off my mates tagged along as well. So after a quick pint in The Casa on Hope Street we headed up to the student guild. The guild itself was a small venue (I like that) with seating for about 150-200. Henry Priestman being support was first up and we settled down with our cans of Red Stripe (nice to get a decent bevvy at a concert as you normally get raped for a can of Carling) So most of the set was from Henry’s first album “Chronicles of a modern life” which is well worth a listen and a cheeky track from his “The Christians” days Ideal World was thrown in the mix as well as a new song. Henry as ever was helped by Pete Riley on guitar and later on by two of the Port Issac Fishermans Friends. Henry asked for some crowd participation in the form of cheers for northenders versus southenders of Liverpool. Needless to say us softy southenders lost. I reckon at the end of the gig the southenders wouldve won with the amount of Red Stripe we had consumed. So Henrys set was over and I popped over to say thanks for the tickets. Ive met Henry once before but its still strange meeting somebody who you bought all their records (yes records it was that long ago 1987) Top song on his latest album is “Greys the new blonde” and lyrically the whole album is very good with the lyric from a song called “Old” getting me every time. “Im the same age that my father was when I first thought he was old” couldnt hit the nail on the head anymore at my time of life. So I’m looking forward to his second solo album and here is a song from his first called “Dont you love me no more” 4/5 stars for the gig.
So a few more cans of Red Stripe down the hatch and it was time for the main act Port Issac’s Fishermans Friends. The Fisherman’s Friends are shanty singers from Port Isaac on Cornwall’s rugged, panoramic north coast, who have delighted visitors and locals there for more than 15 years. Down on the harbour front of the tiny fishing village of Port Isaac, the authentic sound of the shanty can be heard loud and clear via the mighty, brawny chorale of The Fisherman’s Friends. At around eight in the evening during the summer months, tourists and locals gather to hear this ten-man group mesh their voices in an incredibly rousing and joyful set of shanties and Cornish folk songs. So this was going to be a bit different to gigs I go to. So the ten of them came on with no fuss and most of them had a beer with them (but were on water by the end to save their voices) So most of their set was acapella with the odd musical instrument thrown in which in my opinion made the songs better as once you had heard a few of the songs they did all sort of blend into one and the album does sound better with more instruments being used. So just 2.5/5 for the Fishermans Friends.
So our night ended up in O’Neills catching the end of a band but alas the DJ came on and it was time to catch the last train home but only after a traditional stop at The Lobster Pot chippy. Wasnt too bad on Saturday for a night on the grog but I know that Henry Priestman was suffering as he went out on the ale with the Fishermans Friends and took them to The Baltic Fleet for a few scoops and then back to their hotel. No rock and roll antics (well one of the fishermans friends is 77 !! ) and not even a sing-song due to the bouncers at the hotel but if the 10 Fishermans started singing after a night out on the ale I think most of Liverpool wouldve heard them. So asking the two lads who came along at the last min about the night and Henry Priestman came out on top and please do check out his album (I sound like his PR man.)
So the last quarter of last year seen the economy shrink by 0.5% or half of one percent as they like to say. Whats wrong with half a percent ? Now we need not worry about economic gloom because according to our government it was due to the weather. Now being a keen amateur weatherman I cant recall the period October 1st to 31st December being blighted by such weather that I was unable to spend money. There was some cold weather at the end of November and then from early December to just before chrimbo. Indeed if anything I spent extra money on two sledges, and how many other parents did as well. I seem to recall christmas being in this period as well which surely would boost sales. Vince Cable was due to speak about the figure just after it was announced but his car was delayed (not due to snow may I add) So pork pies left right and centre. How much more bullshit are we going to take ? Its all well and funny the rail companies using snow as an excuse. What next from the government, the wrong type of leaves fell in October and because of this the economy shrunk by 0.25% or would that be a half of a half of one percent ? So forget about the scaremongering of climate change (global warming) its now cold spells we should be shitting ourselves about as a bit of Jack frost or snow sends the economy into a double dip recession. We could however eat our way out of recession by all becoming addicted to double dips. Yes those lovely (ish) sherbet sweets which came with a swizzle stick to help you scoop up the sherbet. I preferred just to get my boy scout membership card out and rack up a few lines on the school desk during playtime. That would send us into geography on a friday afternoon with a real buzz, not to mention tears streaming from our faces and sneezing all lesson. That was the last time I played Miami Vice in school.
So unemployment keeps on rising (Not more politics I hear you mutter) no this time its Andrew Mullen Gray who makes it one more on the jobless total. Now I mentioned this on my previous blog just as it was breaking. Here Im not Andy’s biggest fan and its a bit dubious that all this stuff has come out with him suing the News Of The World and it gets a bit murky on who owns what. The original sound recording is also dubious, its clearly not from his mic he was wearing so its from elsewhere. Was it another studio mic or was he actually being bugged again (opportunist mobile phone ? ) So a man who is suing over being bugged has lost his job by possibly being bugged by near enough the same people he was suing. What he said was wrong but most males who watch footy would of had similar thoughts. If you didnt your obviously a “new man” and its a fuckin surprise your bird let you watch the footy (must have cost you a fortune in gifts and forfeits you big pansy) Shit let my guard slip there, any women upset at that “Do me a favour” as Richard Keys would say. Even Mrs Fay thinks its all a bit mad as she even thought whats a young girl doing being linesman. Reminds me of the Brand/Ross debacle when it ended up at an amazing amount of complaints coming in well after the show was broadcast and the media scrum which surrounded that. So what next for Gray. Not much demand for a sexist, old man with hair like shredded wheat. But he will end up somewhere. Keys should go as well and if anything its a chance for Sky to spruce up their footy coverage as them two bints have been doing it for 20 years. So no more “The final word” on a Sunday after the match and my final word is let us pray for no more snow this winter our economy just cant take it. At least these linesmen disguised as women can boost the ecomony by shopping and purchasing “Henry” hoovers.
So Saturday lunchtime and I nearly choked on my Seabrooks crisp butty. Wolves V Liverpool and a female linesman (Assistant referee in new money) Now I admit I am a bit of a caveman when it comes to this. Not only was it a female linesman (lineswoman or lineshuman if we are going to get arsey about it) she looked about 18. The linesman involved was Sian Massey. Now I will go with my first instinct of this just isnt right. I know its 2011 but some things still look silly. Now Miss Massey wouldve been better off making my seabrooks crisp butty, hoovering my living room (not whilst the match is on) or doing other such stereotypical stuff. (That line might just earn me a frying pan around the head from Mrs Fay never mind Miss Massey) So the match kicked off and the first Liverpool goal went in. The goal when watching live looked a fair bit offside. But credit were credit is due Miss Massey got the decision spot on. In fairness she had a very good game. I jest of course with my caveman views (honest) and believe in equal rights for women. Indeed I have moaned on previous blogs on that women put up such a fight for women to vote that any woman who doesnt vote might want remember the struggle to gain that vote and for the record I think everybody should vote, even if you spoil your paper. So it comes out in the daily mail ( I dont read it the link was on Twitter) that Sky Sports presenters Andy Gray and Richard Keys are at the centre of a sexism row after they questioned whether a female assistant referee knew the offside rule during a Premier League match. The commentators, who apparently believed their microphones were switched off, were recorded making disparaging remarks about Sian Massey, 25, before Liverpool’s Premier League clash with Wolves on Saturday. They also criticised Apprentice star and West Ham vice-chairman Karren Brady, who had written about sexism in a newspaper column on Saturday. (The link at the top of this blog has the audio for you to listen to) So it seems that caveman Fay has two more high profile fellow cavemen. The difference being that I didnt have a mic on and about 100 people tops will read this blog. To be fair to Keys and Gray most women wont know the offside rule but alas I think a female premiership linesman some how will ! I include a poll below for all my female readers to vote in. So it will be interesting to see the fall out from this sexist diatribe as the Daily Mail puts it and no doubt next up will be the Mail’s “it was all the fault of immigrants” diatribe.
Away from the 1940’s world of sexism and its now been a week since I bought Kinect for the xbox 360. Whats Kinect some of you say. In short its a plug in device for the 360 which means you dont need a controller. So first game I got was Dance Central which is a game where you dance in your living room copying the moves on screen. Now me and Mrs Fay settled down to play this with a couple of bottles of wine and I have to admit she put me in my place and I thought id never see the day when I was beaten at dancing to “Pump up the jam” by Technotronic. Furthur defeats to ‘Funky Town” and “Poker Face” followed and the final nail in the coffin was Salt’N’Pepa’s “Push it” So I retired with my tail between my legs with the new knowledge that women can be better than men at things (joke) So next time we play I am going down the route of athletics and the likes of Ben Johnson etc. Im gonna buy an ecstasy tablet (Or Gary Ablett to us scousers) and whooop Mrs Fays arse at Dance Central and just hope that the authorities dont select me for the post dance drugs test. A second game I bought was “Your shape, fitness evolved) I donned my leg warmers and shorts and had a go of this game. 45 mins later with a sweat on I had burned over 600 calories . The kinect device measures all movement in your body and you do various work outs etc. So I have my own xbox personal trainer, luckily for me you can switch her off because after a shower I settled down for a glass of diet coke and a Crunchie !!
Blog time and the week has been as gloomy as the fog outside as I decide to do a six day week (Money grabbing bastardo) Ok so Friday and Saturday are AM only but hey six 7 AM (ish) starts are enough for one man. So it was breaking news this morning that the police had arrested a man in the Jo Yeates murder case. A family in ruins and a young girl dead. Another life in ruins is the life of Chris Jefferies, yep the dodgy looking landlord who was arrested a few weeks back. He still might have a part to play in the case but described as “a pillar of society” the papers went to town at the time of his arrest but will no doubt never redress the balance. I know he looks like a villainous character from a Scooby Doo cartoon but admit it when you seen the picture of him you thought well thats, that weirdo nailed. But it might well be his only crime was to have a half comb over of what can only be described as a very poor Jimmy Saville impression. Now here is another man with what is a dodgy hairstyle and dodgy reputation. Now I had a look on the internet over this and came across some truly amazing allegations. Now I know the internet is full of shite but some of the names that I came across did surprise me and others didnt. I will not go into anymore detail on here but a quick google and you are into some very serious allegations. 99% of them most probably shite but it does make you think what the secret handshake gang are/still are getting away with. Some of the alleged things that went on caused ministers to be shipped out to European or resigning from ministerial posts for personal reasons. This brings me onto the news today that shadow chancellor Alan Johnson is resigning from Labour leader Ed Miliband’s frontbench team, citing “personal” reasons.He is replaced by Ed Balls, previously the shadow home secretary. Mr Balls’ wife, Yvette Cooper (im assuming she didnt want the surname Balls) takes over the home affairs brief. Mr Johnson said he had “found it difficult” to cope with issues in his private life while shadow chancellor. Now I am not for one moment suggesting anything dodgy has gone on but in the future this could be started up as a rumour and this standing down used as part of the story. I actually like Alan Johnson even if as a chancellor he didnt know his arse from his elbow but then again neither does George Osborne ? Better off getting Ozzie Osbourne in charge of the budget. So remember never judge a book by its cover unless you a landlord from Bristol with a spare pizza or a shell suit wearing old man with lots of gold on and a large cigar saying “now then now then young girl”
This story doing the rounds on the BBC website. A live hen was thrown through the open window of a Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) restaurant in Warwickshire. RSPCA inspectors say they want to speak to the two men who approached the restaurant in Bermuda Park, Nuneaton, on a moped on Tuesday evening. A third man filmed the pair and the footage has since appeared on the internet. Inspector Helen Smith, from the RSPCA, said the bird was not harmed but did suffer some distress. Now as a chicken I think the last place you would want to be thrown into is a KFC. The hen was most probably thinking oh shit im heading straight to the fryer here but look on the bright side I might get to find out what the colonels secret recipe is. Helen Smith “It’s just completely irresponsible to abandon an animal in this way. I mean come on that could have been extra crispy with a garlic marinade ” The RSPCA is now looking for a new home for the hen, which it has named Mrs Sanders. I wonder if Helen Smith from the RSPCA has ever been to KFC ? Anyways heres the footage from youtube.
So my lazy blogging start to 2012 continues with only my 2nd blog of the year. If truth be told I havent actually done that much thats given me cause to blog and its been pretty quiet in the news. So what we gonna natter on about today ? Well ive hit the new dizzy interesting heights and found that you can load PDF files (If I have lost you already then sorry) onto my ipad to read. So what did I start with well it was a document entitled “Universal credit, welfare that works” from the department for works and pension website. Im such a party animal these days, but in my defence it is work related and could have a very large impact on my job. An impact so big that I might not have a job. I will cross that bridge if we get to it and will be out begging on here if the shit hits the fan. So as mentioned nowt much going on in the ickle world of Fay. I have decided to now work 40 hours a week from 36. Yes I am a money grabbing bastard but hey ive got an addiction to M&S simply food to feed. I have a concert lined up for the end of the month which im going to see the support act who is Henry Preistman. The main act is Port Isaac’s fisherman’s friends. Who I hear you say. Well just another of my more strange musical tastes and whilst we are at it I got a CD (Yes CD remember them things) from Otis Taylor called “Recapturing the banjo” which is well worth a listen. Getting lots of play on my iphone is the Beatles box set I have loaded onto it. As a music fan I had noticed that I had never listened to any Beatles albums only “best of’s” etc so their entire album collection is keeping me busy in work. A little trip to Wroclaw in Poland is lined up for February which will give me some good blog material but otherwise its a quiet month and an ideal chance to get stuck into “Universal Credit, welfare that works” !!
So onto things in the news. First up is the demise of Liverpool FC. I dont blog on sport if I can help it but Liverpool are in the shit a bit. So with odds of 20/1 to get relegated. I put ten of my hard earned pounds on this. I can hear the groans now, how can you put a bet on like that. Well I insure my house and hope that I never get paid out. This bet is insurance. If Liverpool get relegated I get £210 to cushion the blow. If the prospect of this grows I will have a few more insurance bets. So in the end I might have £100 riding on them to get relegated but I would happily forsake that to see them remain in the premier league. A cunts bet you may say but you have to cover all bases and if the unthinkable happens (they win a game !) I mean get relegated I will have enough money to blot out the pain for a bit.
So pope John Paul II is to become a saint. Now to become a saint you have to of performed a miracle. The Vatican credits him with the miraculous cure of a nun said to have had Parkinson’s Disease. Church officials believe that the Polish pope, who himself suffered from the condition, interceded for the miraculous cure of Sister Marie Simon-Pierre, a Frenchwoman in her late forties. She has said her illness inexplicably disappeared two months after John Paul II’s death, after she and her fellow nuns had prayed to him. Ahhh the waft of holy bullshit. But as Blackadder would say ” I have a plan thats as cunning as a fox who’s just been appointed the professor of cunning at Oxford university” I suggest that once King Kenny leave the Liverpool job that the club look no further than Pope Benedict XVI. It is going to take a miracle to get Liverpool back to anywhere near where they need to be. Then once he leads us to that elusive premier league title and dies, that can be his miracle to aid his beatification. Perhaps King Kenny might do it himself to become Saint Kenny………………..oops just woke up with my head in my cornflakes. Had a weird dream that Kenny Dalglish manager of Liverpool again, taking us to the league title. The Tories were also back in power and the Yorkshire ripper was in the news. Must have all been a 1980’s dream.
So here I am back after an extended chrimbo and new year break. Fresh and ready to blog for 2011. First up is an update on my Facebook boycott. I decided just before chrimbo to have a break from Facebook (and Twitter but Twitter is useful and I caved in after one day) The original aim was to do it for the month of January but I took the plunge and came off Facebook just before chrimbo. Now I do admit I log on every day just to get my daily spin for the game Bejeweled Blitz and that is that. I did put a new year message up and come Feb 1st I will see if I want to go back to the world of Facebook. Now being a bah humbug I just couldnt take any more of people posting pictures of their xmas trees giving me a countdown on what seemed by the second to the time they finished work for xmas and numerous other festive things that frankly I couldnt give a fuck about. So just over 2 weeks now and I have come to the conclusion that Facebook is just for being nosey. Indeed just for nosing at people statuses to see what they have been doing and also at the pictures they share. I might go back to being nosey soon but its still force of habit when i sit down at my mac to almost click on the facebook link. So have my 293 friends on Facebook missed me ? What is a friend ? As I read somewhere if I posted on Facebook I need help tomorrow to move house how many of my Facebook friends would say you know what I will ? So for now its still sorry im closed at Facebook.
Now readers of my blog know I have a liking for the 1990’s indeed the formative years of my life entering it a boy at 16 and leaving it a man at 26. So it was to my great joy when I was watching the Arsenal vs Man City game when I was transported right back to 1990 when Emmanuel Eboue came onto the pitch after the match looking like well he was in 1990. There were many a shellsuit knocking about in 1990 which looked like Eboue’s coat. the worst thing is he most probably paid a fortune to look like a cunt. Im sure he is wearing what the contestants used to wear in The Crystal Maze. Id like that to come back on our TV screens as it was one of my fave TV shows back in the day. Starting with a celebrity version. Eboue could go on it in his trendy new coat !
So whats been going on whilst I was away. Well after the bathroom was stocked with enough Lynx spray and shower gel to last me well past Easter (Or September if I have one bath a week) christmas was spent mainly at home watching sport, playing on my consoles and having a few drinks. My sister cooked me a belter burger and chips on chrimbo day and it was the in laws for a night over chrimbo and new years eve. I had the usual man flu and I have come to the conclusion that as I get man flu every xmas its a combination of me not liking xmas and with me stopping work my body chilling out and winding down and thus allowing the bugs to attack. The highlight of new years ever was when we let off out Chinese lantern and it got stuck in a tree right outside my father in laws next door neighbours window and woke him up ! (fancy being being in bed as the bells chimed)
So congrats to England winning The Ashes. I went to bed last night and snoozed off but as if by some miracle I woke up a few mins before the last wicket fell and seen the famous moment and the presentation etc. It had been 24 years since England had last won The Ashes in Australia and I twas but 13 years old. If its the same wait again I will be 61 next time ! Indeed I might be 61 when Liverpool win their next trophy. So its onto the new year with the same old hopes, drink less booze, lose weight, and run off to Ibiza with a gang of lipstick lesbians for two weeks in the summer. Wit the hope of drinking less booze and losing weight being between Bob Hope and no hope all eyes are on the summer.
So the years highlights. Glastonbury, me and Mrs Fay staying in work, buying an ipad and the students rioting.
The years lowlights. Christmas, the Con-Dem coalition. Liverpool FC and x-factor.