Tsunami porn


Wow what a day. As a self confessed geography geek and the proud owner of a Bsc in Human Geography. How I ever got that Bsc is still open to debate as most of my study time was spent in the 051 and Garlands. But back on topic and the breaking news this morning was of the Japanese tsunami and the early footage of the wave hitting the coast and moving inland. Now this is like geography hardcore porn to me but as the wave swept in and swept away villages , houses and cars you could only hope that nobody was in them but the loss of life will only increase on a large scale over the next few days. I dont think a tsunami has ever been recorded from a helicopter and other footage just blew me away. My 6 year old daughter was watching with me and after some explanation she seems nearly sure that (a) we dont get big earthquakes and (b) the wave wasnt about to sweep up the Mersey anytime today but went to school OK. So as the rest of the day went on I watched with anticipation as the wave moved across the world but wasnt as bad a feared. Part of me was wanting it to hit Hawaii big time and watch it live as it happened. This must be some kind of morbid curiosity kicking in. The same kind of thing that I get when a plane crashes. Maybe ive got issues. So this evening I sat down with Elizabeth who wanted to see more of todays news. She soon decided that Sky News was her fave channel from Sky, BBC, CNN and Fox. Barak Obama the came on and I asked her “Do you know who that is ?” She replied “no” I then being her father gave her some knowledge ” That is the president of America who is the most powerful man in the world” To which she replied ” Is he a wizard or something” Kids eh. Later on as the Queens statement was read out Elizabeth then started to say along the lines of “I’d like to say were not really bothered as we havent had a tsunami” I can just see the queen speaking “It is with great joy that all of my kingdom is dry and my subjects are safe” then in the background Prince Philip can be heard saying “Hope those bloody nips can swim”

So as a new day dawns and indeed a new Japan dawns (bit deep that eh) bit by bit the nuclear power plant that was OK isnt. A small exclusion zone was implemented. Next it was just a bit of radioactive steam to be let off and now the latest is reports of radiation levels over 1000 times normal. The exclusion zone is now six miles and the Fukushima nuclear power plant is part under water. No doubt as with the rest of the earthquake/tsunami story this one has still got a bit to run yet. What would be the implications if this thing was to blow ? I was watching a bit of Superman III on Sunday on Ch5 and there was a refinery fire and superman flew to the local lake then breathed so hard an entire lake froze. He then picked it up and dropped it on the fire and it went out. Oh superman where are you in our hour of need.

So as I continue to watch the news and no doubt will be glued to it over the next few days as conventional internet porn is replaced by new tsunami footage and of numerous “money shots” as it hits land it made me feel safe in the knowledge I am British. We dont get tsunamis but are lucky enough to have a bastard government making cuts left, right and centre. Indeed live in a city where gunshots are becoming a regular occurrence ever nearer to home. What about the tsunami of orange females wearing pyjamas. The gangs of black shellsuited lads with hands down their pants grabbing a bollock (maybe they are just very aware of testicular cancer) rising unemployment, attacks on public pensions and the age of pension being increased. For fucks sake even Liverpool and Everton football club are shite these days. Come on wave take me, take us all and we can have a new start. A new world order. Good job I had a spare pair of Peppa Pig armbands and was the sole survivor (apart from the select band of women I had in a safe place to start all over again)  Be warned Lord Fay now rules…………………..

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