No Llandudno, No Playstation, No darts win.

So here we are in the middle of a double bank holiday bonanza. So last weekend Friday heralded a family day out to Llandudno. I have been to Llandudno many a time when I was little as I had a great Aunty who lived there and remember many an hour spent in the arcade called the golden goose at the start of the pier. So with the kids asking are we there yet as we hit our first mini traffic jam it was soon clear to see it was gonna take at least double the time to get to Llandudno with the good Friday traffic and with it being a lovely day the kids were already getting irritable in the back of the car. So I aborted destination Llandudno and we went to Chester instead. After a nice stroll by the river we had a nice family picnic on the lawn outside the cathedral and we headed home to buy a BBQ from B&Q and have tea in our garden. I swear that approximately 5 minutes after I had bought the BBQ with it not even made it started to rain. Thankfully it was only a small shower but not thankfully the BBQ was a flat pack style construction with instructions that could only be understood by an engineer with a masters in engineering. Two brains are better than one and me and Mrs Fay finally got the BBQ erected and away we went. I remember the golden age when good Friday meant a lads day out to Southport and all day on the grog and now its aborted trips to Wales with the family in tow. Before I know it the kids will be wheeling me along the pier for a cheeky chip barm before returning me to the nursing home for a special o-five-one evening with the rest of the over 80’s.

So not only have Sony given all my personal details away the could well of given my credit card details to the hacker who has breached the security of their network as well. Playstation network as its known is not back online yet so I can’t even remember which credit card I have linked to the account ! At least my gaming life doesn’t consist of endless hours of army based fighting against the entire worlds teenage spot laden boys. The poor sods must be twiddling their collective thumbs as they havent been able to play online over the entire easter period. I indeed sense that the masturbation levels of teenage boys must be in overdrive around the bedrooms of the world with the lack of Playstation action. So indeed I couldn’t have a friendly game of golf on my PS3. Good job I didn’t intend on going to Llandudno to play my PS3 online as my weekend would have been a wipeout.

Saturday and it was time for our new darts tournament called “The Rosemont Matchplay” after comfortably negotiating the group stage it was onto the semis and as reigning world champion the dream of a double was shattered. Out I went and the championship went to Colin Airey. On reflection I obviously wasnt pissed enough to be in my darting zone as I took 8 cans of cider to Mo’s house for the darts and only necked 7 of them. I will have to make sure I am suitably pissed for the next tournament and avoid the embarrassment by my high standards of a semi final exit. Speaking of embarrassment I was in ours on Friday post BBQ looking at random family pictures on the TV on my Apple TV (Yes you know I am an Apple slag) A picture from my sister in-laws (Emma) hen night came on where she was holding a giant inflatable cock. When the picture flashed up Elizabeth my eldest asked whats Aunty Emma holding ? Me and Mrs Fay looked at each other trying to contain our laughter and luckily enough the pictures are only on-screen for about 10 seconds so we could move on without any explanation.

And finally those of you who are unemployed and need work I hear there is a human cannonball job on the go in Kent. I did apply for it myself but during my interview they fired the cannon and only smoke came out the top as my rotund figure had wedged half way up . Oh well royal wedding BBQ on Friday and a 40th birthday BBQ on Sunday so looks like any human cannonball job is on the back burner as I wont even be able to fit in the cannon come Monday morning. On the bright side tonight after my job my bathroom scales had run out of batteries, so lets just call it 12 stone 7 give or take a few stone eh.


Fay x x


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