So its time for my first TV review, move over Boyd Hilton, Charlie Catchpole and Mike Ward. So the programme in question was on BBC1 on Thursday night called “Inside The Human Body” I only stumbled across this by accident on the BBC i-player for the ipad on Saturday and turned it off after a few minutes as I thought Mrs Fay would love this and I wasnt wrong. ( Link here for I-player ) In episode one Michael Mosley shows the sequence of biological events that lead to human birth. The 4-part series brought together the latest scientific research and the most innovative computer technology to create never-before-seen worlds for this BBC One landmark series. So before I start in Faymondo blog style and try to raise a few laughs at the shows expense can I say now it is well worth watching.
So the show is the story of how life is created. It doesn’t show the bit where you get drunk in a club and pull a bird to nail in a cheap Liverpool hotel ( Campanile so i’ve heard) Next comes the biology lesson. First up 250 million sperms are released in each ejaculation. Which at a quick estimation means that I have wasted billions and now with the birth of the internet zillions of sperms. Just two of them have scored a goal, which is about the same ratio as my amateur footballing record shows. Next up is all about eggs and to be honest with the amount of my kids easter eggs I have robbed and scoffed over the last few weeks I am all egged out. But as you may or may not know when the egg splits to form identical twins on rare occasions it doesn’t and you have conjoined twins. So the conjoined twins here were Ronnie and Donnie Galyon were born at St. Elizabeth Hospital in Dayton, Ohio, on October 28, 1951, to Wesley and Eileen Galyon. They were born as conjoined twins even though Eileen was not expecting twins at the time. They are joined from the sternum to the groin and share a set of organs, so they cannot be separated. According to the 2009 Guinness Book of World Records, the Galyons are the oldest living set of conjoined twins in the world. The programme went into the scientific bit regarding the formation of the twins. Looking at them they had one body and four legs and four arms and of course two heads. The intellectual in me wanted to discover how many penises and anuses they had. The programme didn’t let me down. They shared a penis and anus. The sick minded individual in me wanted to know when they had a shit did they take turns to wipe ? Second on my mind (OK it was first) when they get the urge to release 250 million sperms (I was gonna say crack one off but I keep high standards in this blog) who done it. Did they both orgasm together ? Was this so taboo that they have never done it ? Anyway enough smut. I then did come up with more scientific questions (no honest) If one had a brain hemorrhage is the other one fucked (OK again not a medical term but we know what we are on about) and on a similar note if one had a heart attack was the other OK ? What about man flu ? Again just one or both, so many questions to ask.
So with the power of the internet I done more research (google) on the Gaylon Twins. Born in Dayton, Ohio on October 28, 1951, the brothers, joined from the sternum to the groin, were delivered vaginally (A surprise indeed for the mother as the programme tells you) According to Ward Hall, the twins’ mother rejected them when they were born, leaving them to be raised by their father, Wesley, and later stepmother Mary. For the first two years of their lives, the twins were in and out of hospitals while doctors attempted to determine whether or not the twins could be separated. Because they share a single set of male organs, doctors decided that it was best not to separate them. They learned to walk at the age of 29 months. Though Mr. Galyon initially vowed his sons would never be put on exhibition, he found himself with medical bills that he could not pay otherwise. The twins were exhibited in an air-conditioned trailer for most of their show careers, where they lounged about watching television while spectators peered in the window at them. After the politically correct backlash of the 1970s made life difficult for human freaks in the United States, Ronnie and Donnie toured Latin America, appearing with Circo Union in Mexico. In the 1980s they were managed by Ward Hall and Chris Christ and appeared with a number of other Hall & Christ freaks in Being Different in 1981.The Galyon twins cast two votes and have two Social Security numbers, but only one passport. You just cant start to imagine the life these twins have had and its tragic that they had to make money starring in freak shows. Sorry to take the piss lads I would honestly like to share a beer or two as it would be in your case and ask you a thousand questions you have most probably heard all before zzzzzzzz
So other parts of the show contained the birth of naturally conceived triplets ( A miracle in itself once you have seen the programme) and also the birth of a child in Africa. The woman involved would have to walk two miles to the hospital to give birth. A mate of mine recently drove his missus 800 metres to the hozzi, thats not a piss take just showing how a comfortable life we live as well as avoiding throwing a 30 year friendship down the drain. I was going to tell you ******* ****’s name but there is a super injunction out. The woman having triplets was struggling after being told she must eat for three. Something I have been trying over the last few weeks with all the bank holidays. The last bit that sticks out was the amazing science that causes a cleft pallet and the charity work that goes on in India sorting this out, something that is taken for granted in our country.
So thats my first TV review over. Late saturday night now (will post sunday) Mrs Fay in bed and i’ve got 250 million sperms and im on the computer.
Fay x x