RIP Eileen Roper 19.11.1915 – 24.08.2011

So as mentioned on my last blog my first week of for nearly a year was interrupted for the worse with a phone call from my Nan’s neighbour that she had fallen. I rushed down to her house and attended to her until the ambulance came which wasn’t long after I turned up. On looking further it had became apparent that there was a decent chance my nan had been there overnight. My nan 95 was determined that she would never move out of her terrace house and had fell a few times in the past but this was the worst one. She did have an emergency phone fitted with panic button but the old trooper refused to wear it ! So with no major effects from her fall it was off to the Liverpool Royal Hospital. On my arrival I was ushered into the relatives room which I thought wasn’t a very good sign. It was another 90 mins before I got into see my nan who was a bit dazed from what had gone on and was cold. The doctor on duty pulled me to one side and said my nan had very bad pneumonia and things could well take a turn for the worse over the next 24 hours. After a quick visit back home to freshen up I popped back in to see her in the evening and she had picked up a bit and we had a chat and I could tell that she was already pissed off at being in hospital and was demanding a cup of tea. I kissed her goodbye and told her I would be in to see her on Tuesday.

So Tuesday came and after a day in Clitheroe seeing the OAP junior that is my dad it was straight back to the royal to see my nan. She was now on a ward but on turning up to see her she was very confused indeed which was a symptom of her pneumonia. It was strange seeing my nan like that as despite being 95 and as expected various bits of her body giving up now and again she was bright as a button. She was telling me to put channel 142 on the cable box despite the TV being on the wall in the ward. She also asked me to change the curtains on the bed opposite her saying that the hooks were in the larder (proper old persons terminology there) She knew who I was though as she said make sure that I climb up and change the curtains as she didn’t want a nurse to fall. A chink of comedy in a not too good situation. After buying her an Echo which she struggled to read I had splashed out on her and got her some pure orange and gone the whole hog and threw in some custard creams as well. I again kissed her goodbye and said see you soon.

So 6.30 am and Mrs Fay came into the room with the phone. I knew what was coming. My nan had died in her sleep aged 95. I was just numb and didn’t feel any emotion. Luckily I had today to myself and after dropping the wife and the kids off I headed of to Nan’s house to make some calls and inform the relevant people who needed to know. The house in Aigburth has a massive place in my heart as aged 18 when my mum and dad moved to Clitheroe I ended up spending 10 years with my nan so she was not just a normal nan she had a massive place in my life. I moved in with her a young adult and left as a man. In truth I had a ball living with my nan and got away with much more than if I had still been living at home with my parents (hope your not reading this Dad x x) She became known as “the bank of nan” to me and as a student I soon realised that to ask to borrow money off her you would have to go through a lot of aggro but she always leant it to me and I always paid her back. So I soon cottoned on that instead of lending four lots of £25 I might as well just go straight in with the big £100 but only get one dose of aggro instead of four.

In later years when I was courting my future wife to be I was sick of sneaking her out at some early hour on a sunday morning thus avoiding getting collared by my nan. We had been going out for a fair bit of time so I asked my mum could she approach my nan to see if it was possible for Claire to stay over. So with us all sitting in my nan’s living room my mum said to me ask your nan about Claire staying over. So sheepishly aged about 25 I said “Nan is it OK that Claire stays over now that we have being going out for sometime?” It was the my nan answered with the classic line “Of course, it will save her sneaking out every morning !!! ” She might of been in her mid 80’s but she knew what was going on !

Another story I remember is that I had left to play footy on a Monday night and my nan was fond of having a nose in my room (looking for hidden women perhaps) She had obviously pulled the wire of my portable CD and cassette player and put it back quickly as not to get collared. There was just one problem she had put it back upside down (having never used one of these modern contraptions) I never did pull her up about that one.

So in later years nan lost some mobility and over the last few weeks had lost some of her dignity but as mentioned before she was determined to live in her house all her life. A wish that she seen through to the end.  It will be strange that such a constant in my life has now gone. Those trips to Steve’s chippy in Aigburth Vale on a Saturday evening when it was occasionally my turn that were to be honest a pain in the arse at times now seem like such an honour to be able to have back. My daughters are now £1 a week down but in their childhood innocence have now allocated my sister to be the bearer of a pound a week. As a great nan it was family tradition for her great grandchildren to call her “Nein” This was from her mum who was Welsh and “Nain” (again pronounced nine) was welsh for grandparent. Original Nein lived into her mid 90’s until she died just before I was born in December 1972.

So I am writing this on the Wednesday evening of nan’s death but cant publish it because my sister (Clare) is away on holiday and doesn’t know yet. Since I moved out of my nan’s Clare has done most of the looking after nan. I can say how much she has done for nan and it will be hard breaking the news to her as it was to relatives etc today. So there we have it my nan joins my mum, wherever that maybe. Yes you were an old bat at times but you were also my nan and one that put up with me for 10 years falling into the house at ungodly hours in some almighty states and with dodgy women although one did become my wife.


Fay x x x

Jesus that was heavy but I look back on my blogs like a diary so in years to come I can have a butchers at this.


A weekend in Legoland

So Saturday morning and after being up half the night puking my guts up and having what my children call “The runners” it was time to head south for a weekend at Legoland in Windsor. Mrs Fay had to take the first leg of the journey as I recovered from this mini bug. Things must have been bad as they tucked into breakfast at the service station I was sipping slowly on a Lucozade sport. I decided to take over the driving to get us there a little bit quicker and despite being spoilt with the ipad in the back of the car with the sound running through the car radio the kids were asking “Are we there yet” Let me now apologise to my parents for the times I repeated the same question back in the 70’s and early 80’s. It really does get on your tits in the end doesn’t it. So before 12 we arrived at Legoland and still feeling dodgy I pulled myself together and took one for team Fay. So we raced off to the first of many themed areas in Legoland and it was mini land. Here the magic of numerous sites of the world had been created in lego but in miniature style. I think me and Mrs Fay were more impressed than the kids who soon had fun getting wet in the small water area. At this point I was thinking might as well saved myself a couple of hundred quid and just sprayed the kids with the hose in the back garden !!

So we soon explored the rest of the site and with us coming back on Sunday we specked some things save for Sunday. A quick look up at the heavens and in true UK holiday style it was going to piss down. This was not going to damped our enthusiasm as me and Elizabeth got wetter on the “Wave Rider” and a nice leisurely nursery rhyme boat ride ended up with Charlotte being afraid of the big bad Lego wolf !! I was still feeling off colour and turned down the delights of hotdogs, coke and popcorn but was cheered up by the news of Liverpool winning 2-0 and some Arsenal fan getting the news as well just in front of us in a queue for a ride. It pissed down for a good 90 mins and my t-shirt was now figure hugging and what a curvy figure it has to hug. The theme park was now awash with the site of yellow. I have never been one for trends and indeed was to cool to sport the latest Legoland craze that was the Legoland waterproof coat, which was in essence a large Legoland carrier bag with holes in. As you see below Mrs Fay and the kids joined the canary yellow scene that was going down on Saturday afternoon in Legoland.

So tired and wet we headed back to the hotel which was the Runnymeade hotel  web site here  The kids got a nice welcome pack each with a cuddly toy in which they were made up with. We decided to splash out on this as this trip as this is our holiday for the year. It was a cracking 4 star hotel with gym, spa and indoor and outdoor swimming pool located on the banks of the Thames. We had a swim before we headed out for tea at Frankie and Benny’s just 5 mins down the road but we managed to get lost on the way there and back thanks to Mrs Fay’s navigational skills, she aint no sherpa Tenzing. Back in the hotel handy as we were all done in. I always say its hard bloody work being a tourist. We settled down to watch x-factor !!! Luckily my tactic of letting the female section of my family watch x-factor and then fall asleep letting me watch match of the day in peace worked.

So Sunday morning and my bug had gone thankfully but the old stools were still a bit loose (too much information) and a morning swim followed by an outdoor breakfast on the banks of the Thames. I caught up on my lack of food with the take what you want breakfast. You can take the man out of Liverpool but not the Liverpool out of the man as I ended up taking all the Nutella’s on display for the kids. On looking breakfast was £19 if you wanted to buy it. If I had known that I would have asked the chef for a box of Nutella’s to take. So after a nice leisurely walk along the banks of the Thames past housing that must easily of been edging over the £1 million mark with their own personal moorings on the Thames we headed off to Legoland for more of the same as Saturday. Best ride of the day was the Atlantis Submarine Voyage and we then queued for 75 mins for Laser Riders which was shite, well I think even 72 virgins and a crate of Stella would have been a let down after that length of wait. Just the odd spot of rain today and no need to wear the trendy yellow macs of Saturday. So after another extensive tour of Legoland it was time for the sting in the tail and the kids treat in the “big” Legoland shop. So with the kids spoilt rotten (again) would I go the whole hog and treat myself to the £275 Star Wars Lego Death Star. I looked at Mrs Fay with doughy eyes like Bambi, she didn’t say anything. Was there a chance I could get it and pass it off as a treat for the kids. There was slight hope for a second and then my mind reading skills read the second word from her as OFF. So I had to take a picture of it instead.

On refection I thought Legoland was a fun park but at times it seemed an orchestra of various crying kids who seemed not to be having much fun !! We had a great weekend and will be heading back next year and the Lego Death Star dream will be rekindled. So back home by 9 on Sunday night and I was looking forward to my first week off in about 11 months wondering if I could get a nice lie in past 8 and a nice chilled day doing nothing. Well the day started out great as I woke up at 9.30. However the nice relaxing day (I thought that was gonna be the easy bit) was shattered at 10.30. More of which to come…………..



x x x

A level results day 1992

I’m off my soap box and no mention of the r**ts in this blog. Instead more sentimental guff as we re re wind the crowd say bo selecta to mid August 1992. It was time to get my A level results. With a full head of hair and plenty or room in my 32 inch jeans it was off to Calderstones school to get my A level results. No doubt it was a glorious summers day (unlike the shire summers we have now) I had taken three A levels Geography, Economics and General studies. I had ditched Maths after one year to concentrate on my other subjects ( I couldn’t be arsed working hard to get Maths) My grade predictions weren’t looking good. My geography teaches was predicting A to fail as he couldn’t guess which Neil was going to turn up. In economics it was a big U for unclassified and one of the teachers was waiting with glee for this due to my lazy attitude. You didn’t get an estimate for general studies as any muppet could pass that and indeed the French part of the exam was multiple choice. Apart from being able to say ” Tres portion de frites sil vous plait” I didn’t have a clue. So to be on the safe side I picked all “A”‘s in the multiple choice assuming that at least some of the answers will be A and I might get lucky and more than average might be A !! So results day was tainted as the night before results day was my uncle Paul’s 50th birthday, my dad had made sure he went out for a pint with him. Anyway to cut a long and sad story short Uncle Paul died that night and all of a sudden exam results were put in perspective. I had worked hard if a little late on for revision for my a levels and was expecting to get three a levels of some lettering. So we were all up early on results day still reeling in shock at the events the night before. I was one of the first to get the results and it ended up as Geography D (pleased with that) Economics (D) very pleased with that and the teacher that didnt like me that much had come over to revel in my misery and looked truly shocked I had pulled a D out of the hat. General studies (E) still and A level and I will never know if my all the same answer in the French multiple choice worked or not. So it was all down to Kascades for some A Level celebration and an all day drinking session. No doubt some of the classic tracks from that year were on the go Right Said Fred “Deeply Dippy” KWS “Please Dont Go” the one and only Jimmy Nail with ‘Aint no Doubt” So pop pickers I leave you with the number one when I got my A level results its Snap and “Rhythm is a dancer” which I still have on CD single in the loft and I still cant spell Rhythm thank god for spell checker.

Post A level results day and a lot went on in the next month of my life. Starting with my uncles funeral (the first one I ever went to) then my mum and dad moved out of Liverpool to live in Clitheroe and I ended up living with my then 76 year old nan, who at 95 is just about hanging on to her independence and living at home and putting up with me for 10 years. It was then year one in the brand new Liverpool John Moores university (or the old Poly as many people liked to remind me) My dad knew somebody who worked there and managed to get me in through clearing and I started my Bsc in Human Geography. I also turned 19 and didn’t have a fucking care in the world, near total freedom living with my nan (Why are you off uni again this week, oh another reading week nan) and my parents were giving me a decent sponsorship and I got a small grant as despite living in Liverpool as my mum and dad lived in Clitheroe I was classed as living outside the city. Indeed John Moores still have one of these held back because of my dodgy attendance. So with them three A levels and armed with Bsc in Human Geography (pass) I signed on the dole for three weeks and got a job in Ladbrokes. I then further utilised my human geography degree and moved to Liverpool City council to assess housing benefits before two years ago going freelance doing the same thing. Still yet to pay my student loan back and will be written of in the next few years. It even shrunk the other year as the RPI inflation figure was negative. I can safely say I went to uni (occasionally) in the golden age of university.

So the same TV coverage every year. Pretty girls (now young enough to be my daughter) celebrating getting 64 A stars and a place in Oxford. No yoof who got 3 fails but did have an impressive B in looting and rioting eh. In years gone past I have looked back and wanted to be transported back to the dance floor of 1992 cutting some moves shouting “I’m a serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer” little did I know how serious cancer would become in my life in the next 10 years from my A level results. I suppose not many words rhyme with dancer that are indeed serious so I will have to bow to Snap’s ingenious lyrical abilities on that one. When I done A levels they were hard and my two D’s and one E now convert to making me just below Stephen Hawking in intelligence. With university fees and the economic gloom ahead its quite nice to be sitting with two houses, a wife, kids, job all in the bank. I suppose being 18 again would have some advantages such as being able to buy hair gel again and being able to see past my beer belly and see my toes would be two immediate advantages I can think of but you know what I will take being 38. Never thought I would say that. Although offer me 18 in 1992 and you might get a different answer because you know “I’m as serious as a financer when I say rhythm is a dancer” Nah it doesn’t work does it. All hail the poet that is Turbo B !


Fay x x x

Riot man charged with stealing from “Munchies” bakery

Spoiler alert : another blog on the riots again.

So after my last post things got a little bit worse it seems. I ended up watching the nights events on the news whilst glued to Twitter for anything going off in Liverpool (Fact not fiction) Well my home city didnt let me down. People have been posting on Twitter that these arent real scousers. Well they are lid. Wake up am smell the coffee. OK its a very small minority that where on the streets rioting but we all know most areas of Liverpool have these “rats” who dress in identikit all black and have one hand down their pants most of the time. Although looking at footage from the last two nights its clear the hand that launches a brick is 94% of the time the same hand that cups the hoodies bollocks. Some places have far too many of these kidda’s to say they are not scousers is to bury your head in the sand. Admit it and move on and deal with the problem (easier said than done) To get some local news on Monday I ended up listening to Pete Price yes Pete Price. Which brought back memories of a fave flag I seen in Istanbul (see below) BBC radio Merseyside were having a quiz at the time but it later came out that both stations were sitting on the news as to not help escalate the troubles and it was only when Sky news said Liverpool was rioting (I bet they loved that) that both City and Merseyside started talking about the troubles. So as pictures emerged on Twitter of the trouble in Liverpool my thoughts switched to Speke retail park just 5 mins walk from ours. Next thing the helicopter was above ours and then I could hear police sirens. Fookin hell surely not. A quick look out the back and a police car and a small van was there. After watching far too much news (from about 5pm all night) I had worked myself up thinking shit my house is gonna get burned down and shown live on Sky in HD (I had only tweeted earlier how the things on fire looked great in HD) The copter soon went as did the police and there was no trouble on the retail as it turned out. So that had well and truly woken me up and I ended up listening to BBC Radio Merseyside’s emergency broadcast with Roger Phillips until just after 4am !!

So the next morning and the carnage that looked like was going on indeed did go on. The police had lost all control and there had been some minor trouble in Liverpool in comparison to what had gone on in London. It was gonna be OK though because Super Dave and Might Boris were back on the scene. Dave just giving us more police and Boris walking along with his broom held high. At least mighty Boris had the bollocks to meet “the people” Cameron like the pussy he is picked the emergency service well behind the public lines. We were all being whipped up into a fever. JD Sports on Speke retail boarded its windows up. Shops on there shut early. I went to get a loaf from the Co-Op in Garston village and that had shut early. Just what was it we were expecting ? It was like preperation for a hurricane not a Tuesday night in Liverpool. Was this all made us to make us feel fear ? But then in the morning when we were all safe and the troubles had calmed in London the super duper Prime Minister now bak on home soil was the hero of the day !! I made the decision to hit bed early and was asleep for 9.30 to avoid another late night. The trouble was spreading to other cities. I woke up again to see some trouble in Liverpool (not much) but also the mindless (as if all of it wasn’t mindless) attacking of fire engines.  Maybe the dickheads are so thick that they cant distinguish between the different blue lights. So Cameron was home and London had subdued (Nothing left to wreck ? ) and a few other places had some trouble. Lets hope its the end of it and some good comes of it, dealing with the issues and causes of the trouble, whatever you may think they are.

So some people have been in court and sentenced. There were many a sob story given in defence (Listed here)  Now I hope they get what they deserve but this last one had me feeling a tiny bit of sorrow for them,  Sean Havens, 43, from Croydon. Homeless and lives in a hostel. Charged with stealing cakes and biscuits from Munchies bakery. That would’ve been me at the Sayers in Garston village. I was always skitted in school as being caught masturbating outside the local Sayers on Allerton Road looking in through the glass past the image of “Sammy Sayer” who can remember him ? (I still drink with these bastards) So now I know where Munchies bakery in Croydon is expect me down there soon with my long mac on and false arm on, cracking one off.


Fay x x x

Is this the end of society? Time for tea then !

Above is a holiday snap from our Prime Minister yesterday. Prime Minister David Cameron has returned to an Italian cafe to make amends for failing to tip a waitress. Last week, he and his wife ordered two cappuccinos at the Dolcenero cafe in Montevarchi, but did not leave a tip. When he returned on Sunday, the PM bought two drinks for 5.10 euros and told waitress Francesca Ariani to keep the change from a 10 euro note. Ms Ariani told reporters Mr Cameron had apologised for any fuss the incident had caused. The Camerons and their children are on holiday in Tuscany, staying at an 18th Century villa close to Montevarchi with two other families. Well its 18:45 (19:45 in Italy) so I guess he is just settling down after his tea no doubt with a bottle of expensive red on the go. I wonder if he has sky news on as the streets of London in broad daylight fall into a state of lawlessness. The police powerless and in some cases backing away in full riot gear from what looked like about three teenagers. Cameron instead of fronting up sent his puppet Nick Clegg to deal with the flack (please grow a set of bollocks Nick) and Teresa May eventually made it back praising the police. Is this the same police who have lost control of Tottenham (cant help but say Tottingham like Ossie Ardiles) and are running away from a few teenagers despite being 20 strong themselves in full riot gear. So quote on Twitter said that the Prime Minister is still probably trying to work out what part of Liverpool Tottenham is in ! Good Old Boris Johnson is eventually on his way home from his holiday and whilst the streets of London fall into chaos the stock market and FTSE continue to drop like a stone but I am sure  George Osborne is on his jollies. I actually found out that George isn’t his real name yesterday. It’s actually Gideon Osborne (That sounds so much more sinister to me) and Gideon changed his name to George when he was 13. In an interview in July 2005, Osborne said: “It was my small act of rebellion. I never liked it. When I finally told my mother she said, ‘Nor do I’. So I decided to be George after my grandfather, who was a war hero. Life was easier as a George; it was a straightforward name.” So what you trying to hide Gideon ? Well Cameron and Johnson are a bit like me and my mates. They go back a long way.

Instead of Littlewoods spot the ball the above is spot the cunt. Cameron (2) Johnson (8)  I can’t confirm if its Osbourne taking the picture but my money would be on Clegg who would do anything to join the gang. I am biased against the tories but as our government (Oh Lib Dems what have you done to us) but the rank incompetence of this governments reaction to the major problems of the last few days beggars belief. Yes they are in touch via modern technology but where is the leadership. How can you come across as more worried about sorting a tipping error out than the problems effecting people on the streets of London. How long before the rats of other cities decide to have a pop as it becomes clear the police are ineffective or they find out their local riot squad had been sent to London freeing up some local looting. The police have been toothless. I have in the past had a pop at them for attacking innocent paper sellers but these people looting now are just rats. If they do catch any of these rats well I have no faith in the criminal justice system. The jails are full to capacity. So smacked wrist and back on the streets.

A bit of a heavy blog but my outlook tonight see’s economic gloom for the next 10 years and the start of the collapse of society and streets becoming no go areas. All this whilst the bastards in charge decide if they should break their holiday to come back and front up. What a fucking joke.


Fay x x x

Edit 19:27 large fire now. Somebody is gonna die soon !!

Update 22:15

So Cameron is coming home and London is well and truly on fire. At least he can look at the smoke rising in the morning when he lands. I cant believe some of the scenes I am seeing. I predict we aren’t even seeing half of the carnage and I await tomorrow mornings news with interest. How has it got this bad ? Has the government let this happen in some strange peverse political tactic to allow a huge swing to the right and bring in extreme powers to keep the non traditional Tory voters down? Or am I being too cynical. Its seems the action has spread to Birmingham. How can this now be stopped ? Army time, curfew time ? Who knows. I leave you with some footage of Nick Clegg predicting riots if the Tories get in power (this was before he bent over backwards to be royally bummed by Cameron and his boys)

Tonight were gonna riot like its 1981 (85) etc

So going to bed last night watching coverage of the Tottenham riots its just looked like a bus on fire, the odd police car and one building alight. Waking up this morning it seems that there was quite a kick off. So where do we start. Well the comparisons to the early 1980’s are there to be seen. Its seems mistrust of the police is once again high on the agenda. It’s also no co-incidence that the Tories are in power even if they are being given a big helping hand from the Lib Dems. Economic gloom and a disenfranchised youth once again. I am waiting for this government when the next quarterly economic growth figures are provided saying “The negative growth for the last quarter was as a consequence of the rioting in Tottenham” Well previous excuses have included snow, hot weather and a Royal wedding. So middle England will be tutting and huffing over their croissants whilst reading the Times on sunday. They will never get it. The divide is always there but as history has proved there is and always will be a divide that is magnified by a Tory government. I was only 7 when Toxteth was alight here in Liverpool and was on holiday at the time. (A holiday back in 1981 was a week in a caravan on the coast not far from Morecambe if you were lucky) I was tweeting whilst watching the riot last night and noting that back in 1981 we weren’t as fortunate as the youth of today who can watch all the action in high-definition on Sky News. No doubt Sky executives will be looking at the prospect of switching it to “pay per view” tonight if it all kicks off again.

The trouble with riots some 25/30 years on from the 80’s is that in general society has got a whole lot worse (as it had in 1981 compared to 1951) Society is indeed more nastier and violent and so when it kicks off we can only expect a higher level of criminality and destruction. I feel unlike the 80’s there is less of a race divide amongst the people (we have moved on for the better but still not extinguished the problem) so as the races unite it’s all directed at the police. I am no fan of the police but in true two-faced style when my house got robbed in the 90’s they were the first people I phoned. Can we trust the police ? Indeed as my old man says “who polices the police ?” Half the police involved last night will now be on the sick and the other half selling information to tabloids. OK that’s not 100% correct but that is the image that comes across about the police. Lets not forget that again under this government police will be facing extra stress as cuts kick in. Never mind the money being pissed away on numerous “fights” we are involved in. Indeed one of them fights the government is actively encouraging trouble and an uprising against the power in charge (OK Gadaffi isn’t elected) but now its on their own doorstep what is the comment. Well as of 09:45 when I am typing this I aint seen one member of our government yet and just the odd line most probably sent by text from a sun lounger on their jollies.

So I can only see more of this over the next few years. The powers that be will be hoping the weather will be shite as hot weather strangely adds to the tension in these areas. The rioters must have a few bob as have you seen the price of a litre of petrol now. Cant be cheap making a petrol bomb. The met police activated their gold command control room in Lambeth. Here I am thinking that Gorden Brown has sold all our gold off on the cheap yet the bizzies have a command room coated in it. A little comment on twitter “Kaiser Chiefs’ follow-up single: “I predict sanctimonious scathing commentary from the self-righteous privileged middle classes” So Sky now showing numerous looted shops. I would have been right into M&S food on the retail stocking up on their finest Beef & Onion crisps and Colin the caterpillar cakes. Let me make this clear it is never correct to riot, cause destruction and so far luckily no further loss of life. But I can understand how these problems arise and eventually kick off. I do show my anti Tory bias but then I can only see the facts and actions that have been laid out in front of me once again.

Well that’s heavy stuff for a Sunday morning eh. See what tonight brings and I leave you with this very apt song from The Specials


Fay x x x

Edit 10:19 found this on youtube

Mrs Fay and the kids have left me.

So here I am with a can of bud in my hand typing this blog and breaking the news that Mrs Fay and the kids have left me. They went on Thursday morning and by Thursday night when I started this blog I was already on the ale. Mrs Fay upped sticks and has gone back to her mum and dads. I can’t and don’t really want to go into reasons on here, after all this is a massively successful public blog and I don’t really want to air my private life on here. I can tell you some small bits. It all started last Thursday and reached breaking point this Thursday when they left. My first night was not too bad as I just listened to some Deacon Blue and had a few cans. Cant say I am missing her and the kids yet but hopefully after a few days away she will be bored with being away and come back to my loving arms realising what a gem she has in me. So what do her mum and dad think about it ? Well they are made up as last Thursday they went to Greece for two weeks and left Mrs Fay in charge of the cat and from today the dog as well and it was easier for her to move in and give me some peace working from home. Cant get rid of the kids that easy though and they are back with me tonight as Mrs Fay hits the ale and has some mates around at her mums. So the cause of our break up is out in the public domain now and its the pet sitting of the in-laws bloody pets. I’m waiting for my prezzie off them and hope its a good one but the mother in law is most probably reading this post Greece so in advance I thank you for the “I Love Greece” t-shirt (One size too small) and some dodgy chocolates with nuts in (I don’t eat nuts) One of the neighbours collared me on Thursday night and said to me “home alone eh” as I walked in with my cheap white plazzi bag with 6 cans of Bud, 2 packs of McCoys and a Twix. I was gonna say “yep the party starts at 10 come over for a drink” but refrained as it might have been seen as an improper invitation. If I was that way inclined I would’ve said “get in ere luv the mooses is away” So just about to crack open my first can and it was another neighbour to sort out her daughter staying over with mine at the in-laws on Saturday. Who would be next to knock now the word was out around Garston that here I was all alone and the wife and kids back at the in-laws. Surprisingly it all ended there. Maybe the word reached the street there was to be no party here after all and attentions were switched elsewhere. Number 26 did look busy come to think of it. Maybe there Magners, hand cooked chips and giant bar of Cadbury’s trumped my munchies.  This leaving of me is an annual occurrence until them pets go to the big vets in the sky see previous blog  Like last year in mourning of losing my family my Facebook status is single.

In other news its seems like we are in for more trouble ahead on the economic front. If the banks go tits up does that mean my overdraft and credit card get wiped out? How about the numerous mortgages I have? Some rocky times ahead indeed. Luckily for me I sen this coming and banged all my money into gold which is at an all time high. That gold filling I got done last time I went the dentist has risen from £8.36 to £16.54. This has been offset though by Mrs Fays massive share holding in Aviva from when she worked there (about 70 shares I think) which were down to 350.5p losing a massive 4.62% today. Times are hard for Aviva with profits just £125 million last year down from £1.105 billion the year before !!!! Fuck our pitiful share holding I hope they lose every penny they have as when the put Mrs Fay on the dole (the first time, shitty times eh) they were spending fucking millions on adverts featuring all kinds of stars just for a bastard name change (see below) Recession here we come again, pensions eroded, prices on the up and don’t get me started on fuel. When we gonna have this revolution ?

And finally in the news this week the experience of Madeleine Pulver reads like the plot of a terrifying psychological thriller. The 18-year-old was revising for her exams in the kitchen of her family’s luxury home in the well-heeled Sydney suburb of Mosman when an intruder wearing a balaclava broke into the house and placed what appeared to be a collar bomb around her neck, leaving a ransom note before fleeing. When I read the story and looked at the accompanying picture I like most males came to the same conclusion…………….. Mrs Fay will deffo not be coming back now. The good old BBC were better in their standards though (second pic)


Fay x x x

One wedding a funeral and Garston shore.

So as the title of the blog suggests its been a few events at the opposite of the enjoyment spectrum. First up was a wedding on Saturday night of a lad I know and strangely enough only ever meet when getting extremely drunk around various locations of Great Britain and Europe. The wedding reception was at the Village hotel in Whiston. A lovely venue and the evening was started off with edited video highlights of the wedding day so far. Technology eh. I was sensible and only had about five bottles and Mrs Fay drove to save a few bob on taxi fares (once a mingebag always a mingebag) Congratulations to John and Karla although the buffet didn’t provide the promised sausage rolls, it was a far too posh buffet for my low culinary standards and I had to make to with an improvised chip barm.

Sunday was spent doing various bike rides with my daughter Elizabeth (nearly 7) who learned to ride her bike in the week in about 10 mins. First ride was down to Garston shore where on Saturday I had been on a bit of a “reckie”  Garston shore down the bottom of Banks Road is a hidden gem that I am so glad I discovered. Its got numerous paths and is a lovely nature walk. There was an old shipwreck down on the shore but this has now been removed. If you venture off the path you can go onto the shore of the Mersey itself and walk right up to the start of Liverpool airport. A few planes came into land and they literally land over your head. I have included a video below of a plane landing. You can walk up to the metal bit sticking out into the Mersey in the video which has landing lights on. Just after this plane landed I heard some sirens coming from the airport. My first thought was shit am I gonna get nicked for taking pictures of planes by the airport. I had gone on this random walk and was I about to be arrested under some terrorist legislation and banged away for 28 days. My mind wandered to the people who got nicked in Greece for taking pictures of planes Story Here  I decided to make a sharp exit and headed back along the coast before the anti-terrorist squad caught up with me. Needless to say I escaped. Down on the shore is the Liverpool Sailing Club Web Site Here Im still saving up for my dinghy which of course will be called “Dignity” I recommend you take a look down Garston shore as its a cracking walk and you could go onto walk around Speke Hall as well. The second and third bike ride with Elizabeth was there and back to my sisters which is about two miles in distance. Thankfully no accidents and we got back in one piece but not a bad effort from not being able to ride a bike on Tuesday to doing about 6 miles on Sunday. Managed to catch a picture of an Easyjet landing and ive edited it with the instagram application for the iphone. I am getting quite into this photography lark.

So Tuesday comes around and a cheeky half day in work as I was going to the funeral of a friends dad who had died. He had lost his battle with cancer and having gone through the same thing with my mum I was in the position to offer some advice having been in the horrible situation. So I decided to put my pants on but having not worn them for about a year when I put them on they were a bit snug to say the least. It’s quite amazing really how a pair of pants could shrink just being hung up in a wardrobe. I had visions of the button going pop in the middle of the service and hitting the person in front with such velocity thus creating a scene in the funeral. It was time to utilise my needlework skills learned in first year seniors and a quick relocation of the button gave me an extra inch (insert cheap gag here) and a fashion disaster was averted. I have a christening and wedding in Early Sept so I need to make an effort to make sure they are a much more comfortable fit in a few weeks so along with the booze cut down its time to have an even better health kick (again)  So it was back to Mossley Hill legion for a pint and some buffet sausage rolls, that ended up turning into several drinks and a mini tour of Rose Lane / Allerton Road with me stumbling into the house around 11pm with some munchies. A quick change into some scruff and the pants issue was resolved, lucky really as I had brought in sausage and chips to demolish.

So that’s it for now and the shuddering thought that christ am I heading into the part of my life when funerals become a part of my routine? To be honest in the limited experience I have had of them they have turned into cracking days on the ale !!!! Another blog revolving around booze and buffets and I am still to resolve the magical pants that have shrunk in the wardrobe. I’m sure im close to solving that particular mystery and the clue might be in the booze and buffets.


Fay x x x

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