A fur coat and Oops up side your head.

So suffering a slight hangover after the volcano and treasure chest (see previous blog) it was time to dump the kids at the ballet christmas party and grab some breakfast on the way back. I ventured into the new Asda in Garston and came out feeling like a proper old man. The reason being that I could not find the sausages (most probably still pissed from Friday night) and I asked a lad in “the Asda” where are the sausages and got some great customer service. I was taken to the exact place they were instead on the normal “Aisle one lad” that some many other places offer. Then a the checkout again some grade A customer service from the girl on the till. It made me feel really old appreciating this excellent customer service and even worse it made me happy !! I was thinking this should be recognised by telling the store manager of my experience and then I decided I needed to get a grip and get over this customer satisfaction orgy I was revelling in. In reality normal customer service should not be so shite that when you get what should be expected you come out of the shop chuffed ! For the record I was living life on the edge by having a sausage roll for breakfast !!

So lazing on the couch and flicking through the Tv channels I came across “The biggest loser USA” before I knew what the programme was called it was the sight of a very fat woman in a belly top and cycling shorts being weighed that caught my attention. Not in a sexual manner may I add but pure curiosity as to why you would let yourself be filmed doing this. Next up was a man who had lost 58 pounds and still looked a fat bastard together with his full pair of breasts. Anyways this had been split into teams and it came down to one chick (American term) standing on the scales crying as she was feeling the pressure as she had to have lost 8 pounds that week for her team to win. What was the prize ? I’m thinking double whopper meals all around would have done the trick. Anyway for the record she lost 16 pounds that week (shows you how fat she was to be dropping that kind of weight) and her team won. I have just finished my application form for the new series which is on ITV next year. £25,000 for the winner which I will enjoy spending in Mark and Spencers food.

So Sunday and with our twice yearly footy match against the police being cancelled this meant a 1:30 start for our lads day out on the ale. So after watching the first half of the Liverpool game in “The Abbey” and the second half in “O’Neill’s” We hit the road with further bevvies in ‘The Central” “JR’s” “The White Star” and onto “The Grapes” on Mathew Street. Here we found an imitation fur coat hung up that nobody was laying claim to. By now already pissed we duly took our turns to each have a go of this lovely white coat which we had grown attached to. We never did find out who’s coat it was but we reckon we had sussed who’s it was but this woman was denying it I think through the mockery she thought we were bestowing on the coat but we just liked it because it was nice to stroke ! Things could only get better after this event, well errrr no. After more drinks at “The Cavern Pub” “Yates Bold Street” and “Pogue Mahone’s” it was time to gatecrash a friends niece’s 21st birthday. So we fell into the place and I was not suitably dressed for the occasion yet again in my Adidas trainers and trackie top with jeans to which I drunkenly apologised for when meeting the birthday girl when introduced on our entrance to the party. It was time to neck more Desperado’s and our main aim of the party was to get an “oooops up side your head” going on the dance floor. Eventually our aim was complete although our “oops up side your head” train only got to about a max of 7 people which was very disappointing. 11.30 and after 10 hours on the ale my homing beacon was kicking in. No sign of any cabs and then my mate ventured off and despite my calls to him I assumed his homing beacon had kicked in. I was to find out the next day that it had indeed kicked in but about 5 years too early as he turned up at his mum and dads house. No wonder we don’t get out much after last nights antics. So with work Monday morning I took advantage of working from home with a one and a half hour lunch spent back in bed recovering. Deffo not having a bevvy now until at least errrr Christmas ho ho ho and here’s the coat I want from Santa.


Fay x x x


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