Ross Kemp folded

Only the second blog of the year, well January is quiet after chrimbo I suppose. This time in ten weeks if all goes to plan I will have become a dad for the third time. Jesus how that has flown around. I’m not only feeling old at 38 being a dad again I am acting old. On my way to pick up my daughter from a school film night I banged Radio 1 on in the car expecting a bit of dance music. What can only be described as a noise came out of a speaker. It was obviously a live event as the DJ give it “Let me hear you make some noise” So I did, the noise being that of Smooth FM and I basked in the safety of some The Real Thing. Ahhhh the joys of heading very fast towards my forties. I think one of The Real Thing used to live at the bottom of our road with a dog that he won at Crufts with or was that just an urban myth ? Henry Priestman (The Christians) also lived in the same road a few houses up. In sporting news today normal service (no pun intended) was resumed for Scotland’s finest Andy Murray. Now to be fair it was a belter game of tennis but once again he wasnt good enough and choked being two sets to one up. I don’t buy into this good effort and he’s a great player business. At the end of the day you have to put the major on the table which he hasn’t so far, and so is classed as a loser.

So in other breaking news our shower has broken. Yet another exclusive for this blog. Now with me being on an exercise kick that means I have had to have a bath after sweating away trying to play footy with people a lot younger than me. On a Tuesday night I think I was the oldest player !!! Thankfully the father in law plays on a Thursday and having just turned 60 is still playing. I can’t see myself on the astro at 50 never mind 60 !! So back to the bath, just how small are modern baths ? No matter what my width is length wise its a struggle to get in a bath. Things will only get worse as we grow bigger on average. Yet strangely in my nans house she has a lovely old cast iron bath (on the proper old legs) which would fit all four of the Fay clan in. I look forward to getting that re-enameld when we move in there. Why such a big bath when people were smaller in them days. This brought me strangely to Liverpool and Everton games. When footy violence was at its peak the derby was friendly. Now footy violence has all but gone away the derby has a nasty edge to it ? Fingers crossed this weekends game against United passes off without incident.

So I leave you with a website dedicated to the folding of pictures of Ross Kemp It does what it says on the tin.


Fay x x x



So  happy new year. Does that mean I can shake your hand and kiss your girlfriend even though we have never met before but we are in some cramped boozer that charged to get in and then we had to walk home in the fucking freezing cold because we couldn’t get a cab. Ahhhh gotta love new year. Once again it was a night in with Jools Holland for me and the usual huff at midnight the fireworks in London. Seen one firework seen them all. Lets face facts it’s still the same shit that Guy Fawkes attempted to use back in the day. Fireworks need to move onto a new level.  Come to think of it could use some of that stuff today on Cameron’s mob. *****Disclaimer that is a joke. there is no need to arrest me or sack me from my current employment. Which leads me nicely onto the first new year topic. Now first up what do you make of this ? ““I wouldn’t fancy the bed next to Gareth Thomas ” followed by the hashtag #padlockmyarse Now this was said about celeb big brother contestant Gareth Thomas (A rugby player who has come out) Well it was tweeted by a lad I know who is a semi pro footballer nearing the end of his career. To cut a long story short Lee Steele who played for Oxford City was sacked over this. There was a storm over a homophobic comment over this which was all over Twitter, at one point number two most read item on the BBC news website (Link here) on the front page of the Yahoo UK home page, on Radio 1 newsbeat and also breaking news on Sky Sports News. Judging by the majority of comments/tweets I have read on this Lee is just an ugly homophobe who Gareth Thomas wouldn’t dream of sleeping with (Hard to confirm this as Gareth is in the BB house and as yet does not know Lee) Is this the world gone mad or indeed a big step forward in the cause of stopping homophobia ? Well lets start with the facts. There was no malice or discrimination in what was tweeted. It was indeed a joke. A joke that is not to everybody’s tastes. Lets dissect this a bit more. If Alan Carr or Julian Clary had cracked this gag we would be laughing along saying oh the jolly camp joker. If Frankie Boyle or Jimmy Carr would’ve cracked the gag we would go oooohhhh and had restricted laughter with the view of that’s close to the knuckle but is funny. If Chubby Brown or Jim Davidson had cracked it we would’ve gone thats fucking outrageous. This isn’t comedy its a fucking disgrace jail the fuckers. So who is Lee Steele in all of this ? Well for a start he plays footy in a division which no offence is only a few up from where I play on a Thursday night on Liverpool college astro turf. Me and Lee played in a junior team for a bit. He was lucky enough to get picked up, progress his career and fitness going on to play in in the football league and came on as a sub at Wembley once (jammy bastard) The same scout must have missed me. I went on to lose my fitness and progress though Ladbrokes and Liverpool City Council. So why is this news. An aftershock of the Suarez case with Liverpool. Me thinks so. So why is a man who said racist language (no matter what the context its dodgy what he said) still in a job and the other on the dole ? What Lee said was a joke, Ok a joke not to everybody’s taste. I hardly think he was going around beating up gay people in the Liverpool gay quarter. At the end of the day this lad has now been labelled a homophobe and it couldn’t  be further from the truth. But mud sticks. I tweeted him back “Twitter storm eh !! Now you know how Brand/Ross felt. One mans joke is another mans insult eh. #wannaborrowapadlock” This was as it was just on the local Oxford rags web site before the shit storm kicked up. So carrying on the padlock gag does that mean I should be sacked in the morning ? What about all those nights in Garlands (When it was just an ickle gay club in the 90’s) and what about the gay people I know? Not guilty kidda. Homophobia needs addressing but not in this way.

So in other news its April 5th for the birth of Fay bambino number three. Shite thats not far away. Got the small matter of a house to gut and make ready. Oh well no need to stress everything will fall into plan. One last thought though if it’s a boy, Lee can you do us a favour and if you’re gonna give us your latest kit any chance you could take your name off the back and dye it pink. Awww fuck thats me sacked again.


Fay x x x


Edit 16.01.11 Lee’s apology

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