Happy birthday blog (3) the god particle is sussed.

So it was July 3rd 2009 when I published my first blog “My first blog (The future of banking)” HERE and oh how the bankers are still in the news. To think my blog was about how unhelpful my bank the HSBC are. Well nothings changed in the first few years of this blog the HSBC kindly knocked me back for a mortgage but said I was Ok to borrow the same amount of money via a loan over 10 years but then said oh by the way were banging another 2% interest on it. (Thank god for Tezzies loans) The Santander bank went one better and agreed the mortgage but because we had the main mortgage and had then tapped into equity a few times it was classed as 6 mortgages and their computer could only handle 4 on a re-mortgage !! Well we all know the banking system very well now. It is that the government gives banks money to lend which they then slot for themselves and have been on the fiddle making massive bonuses and we all pay. Thats not to mention various other things like getting us in the shit in the first place and never mind PPI and bank charge refunds. But lets not get hung up on the banks its a time for a birthday celebration as this here pile of waffle enters its fourth year. Thanks for putting up with me.

So this week Cern scientists reporting from the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) have claimed the discovery of a new particle consistent with the Higgs boson. This particle has been named by some the “god” particle. So does this mean that this was the particle that created everything and it wasn’t some fella with a long beard who then got a virgin “knocked up” who had a baby in late December. So god as I thought does not exist. All those lovely churches will be turned into trendy apartments and the local offy will now have a very large drop in sales of red wine and Disco crisps. I assume thats what  had when I went up drunk at midnight mass once and I have still got the bible I nicked as well that christmas eve back in the early 90’s. Forgive me father I have sinned. Well I have sinned a bit more since then but lets move on eh. So with god crushed by the discovery of the “god” particle I then read that they were only 99.999997% or something so there is still a little chance the big man is real along with his mate the tooth fairy. It was then I seen the light what if the “god” particle was actually god ! He was presenting himself to us how he started and once we found out more about him he would then suck everything in that he had created back into this particle and then disappear into nothing and that was that. He had decided that we had made a royal fuck up of things with war, famine and then bankers being the final straw. Now in our final summer he is sending biblical rains (well Ok 15.7mm today on my weather station), the euro and financial situation is in a mess. The end is nigh and as one last punishment to man he is going to let Andy Murray win Wimbledon. Dont believe my theory ? Tut tut well I am off to feed a whole lot of people with five fishes and loaves in my multicoloured dreamcoat and on the way I will part the sea and get in my ark. Come to think of it an ark might be a good shout this summer.


Fay x x x x

Oh and the blog gets its traditional birthday makeover with a new design, thanks for reading hope I raise a smile now and again.


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