Middle aged spread Vs Nike fuel band.

So with my 40th birthday less than a week away I have decided that the time has come to make sure my waist size does not increase and match my years on this planet. With Mrs Fay stuck what to buy me (what do you buy the gadget man who has nearly everything) I decided that I would go for a Nike Fuel band to inspire me to get back into exercise. Mrs Fay was even kind enough to let me have it before my birthday buying the excuse that after last weekend in Benidorm I needed a two week health kick before another weekend in Edinburgh. So at £129 the Nike fuel band doesn’t come cheap.  Just think I can now work out how much Nike fuel I have used by walking down to Steve’s chippy and coming back via Bargain Booze, genius ! If this latest attempt at shifting my middle aged spread fails Mrs Fay would have been better off giving me £129 worth of Sayers vouchers and a pair of expandable waist jogging pants but hey ho we will give it a go. Well it worked yesterday as it inspired me to go out for a 5 mile walk which earned me 1200 Nike fuel points. I have yet to suss how many packs of McCoys that is. So I have set myself a target of 3000 points a day. Only managed to get to 1,913 yesterday but considering the band only went on at 3pm it’s a start. Indeed when I got up this morning it was already up to a massive 34 points ! After pottering around this morning with the ballet run and a short walk to Sayers for a cumberland barm I am on 914 points. Wow might not need to go for my planned jog this avvie at this rate and stay in and watch the footy scores and having a chocolate cornflake cake. OK I know for the attack on my middle-aged spread I also need to cutdown on my food and booze whilst increasing my exercise (fucking hell I sound like a doctor) but as with all regimes I think its article 13 : 1.15 in the bill of human rights that states “All fitness regimes must start on a Monday. Should that Monday be a bank holiday then the regime should start on the following Monday” So possibly not the best time to start a regime with my birthday on Weds and also a boozy weekend to Edinburgh on the 27th but its a start and then once October starts the bleached blonde hair will be ditched and I can kick on or my £129 Nike fuel band just becomes an expensive watch. So part one of the blog done. I will report back with the findings from my jog.

Nike fuel band

So after what was a quite tough 3.25 mile run (first run for a month) the old Nike Fuel points had gone up to around 2200. With a walk up to the in-laws i passed the 3000 points for the day mark and was rewarded with a nice illuminated “GOAL” sign on my band. So I rewarded myself with two Desperado’s and a burger. The run done me in so much that I volunteered to come home and put the baby in bed at 9pm as I think I was more knackered than her. May I take this opportunity to wish Dave and Alison a happy 40th wedding anniversary and who would have predicted at their wedding that in 40 years time their daft son-in-law would turn up with a futuristic band on his wrist which measured such strange things as Nike fuel points, calories burned, steps taken oh and the time as well. The weather is looking shit for the next two days so making my 3000 fuel points might involve a lot of running up and down the stairs. My wicked mind wonders how many points can be earned doing “male wrist exercises” and on that bombshell I think I better wrap things up here. Next blog with be post birthday and a new found maturity in my writing will be able to be seen in my forties. No more rubbish about masturbating with a fuel band on eh !! In truth its a very very bittersweet week next week but we shall cross that bridge on Weds/Thurs.


Fay x x x x x


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