Farewell 2013 and hello the year of the fisherman 2014 !

So another year and another night to avoid as the once a year bastards and false fuckers are out in force. As you can tell just like chrimbo I hate organised fun and will be spending  new years in with Holly (20 months) already tucked up in bed (after a mad half hour !! ) and missing out on some tunes I am playing with classics from The B52’s and Soft Cell already being spun on the wheels of steel or should I say Spotify. On the plus side with it just being me there will be more cocktail sozzy rolls to go around. The missus and eldest two are representing at the in-laws for a party. So lets see what 2013 brought and then have a general waffle into the new year.

So January seen some snow, me and the rest of Liverpool post pictures of aforementioned snow and the city grinds to a virtual halt. My Wii Fit told me news I did not want to hear prompting me to think about doing a half marathon. February seen me confirm my entry into the Liverpool half marathon. The pope decided to spew it and who can forget the now annual February trip away with this year seeing Krakow and not that long away now until 2014’s trip to Warsaw which will make Poland the second most visited country I have been to (Spain 1st) and people moan about them coming over here !! March seen the rise of Pope Frannie the Argie and I actually made it around the 13 miles of the Liverpool Half Marathon in 02:15:52. Not bad for a 17 stone boozer. The month was rounded off with a first visit of the year to the cracking city that is Edinburgh. Any city with loads of boozers is fine with me. April seen the first birthday of my youngest Holly, christ where does that time go ? Quickly followed by more fireworks for the death of Thatcher. If did wonder looking back at the celebration we had would I see it in bad taste.  Nah I don’t. April 15th is the annual “twat of a day” (See blog) and the end of the month was spent consoling my eldest at the new of the break up of JLS !! May was the start of the musical year with gigs by Pink Martini and The Specials and the month was also rounded off with me in an Everton top as they finished above Liverpool for the second year running.

Into the second half of the year and June is all about Glasto baby as will June 2014.  Glasto highlight has to be Chic on Friday night. But the month also seen a visit to the excellent Africa Oye festival and my second running of the Liverpool tunnel 10k. Into the sizzling month of July (nah it wasn’t) and this blog turned 4 years old and people still read this shite !! July also seen my tin (10th) wedding anniversary and a dirty romantic night away in a sun drenched Blackpool (No it really was belter weather) here’s to another 10 and many more years if she can put up with me x x The Royal lizard was born and I survived a week away with the entire cast of The Clampitt’s AKA The in laws on Holiday in Menorca. August seen a trip to the Ashes cricket at Old Trafford oh how things changed so quickly by the end of the year and the end of the month was dominated by my other two kids birthdays and the excellent first Liverpool International Music Festival highlight’s of which was seeing Soul II Soul perform live for my first time and discovering Liverpool’s finest The Tea Street Band. The whole of September was dominated by one thing and my 40th birthday which ended up being a month of festivities starting in Benidorm and ending in Edinburgh. Many thanks to all who came on those trips and hope you had as much fun as I did. A slight pause mid month to mark the first anniversary of the death of my dad.  still miss the grumpy old sod as much as ever x x x October was the month I became a weatherman at last but not Fred Talbot. I went into Sudley Junior school to give a talk on the weather to my daughters class and was amazed at how much they enjoyed it and wanted to learn the thank you cards from the kids and head of school are up in my boys room. Later on that month I became Radio City’s weather expert for the day with an interview re the gales that hit. This nearly caused a couple of my mates to crash their cars as on the 3 o’clock news the weather expert from twitters @Liverpoolweath Neil Fay was on air !!! I also decided that I would run next years Liverpool marathon. Training is on course and I am up to 6.3 miles with the race on the 25th of May. More music and the screaming eagle of soul Mr Charles Bradley.  In November the gigs carried on with The Villagers and The Tea Street band which brought us to this month and The Tea Street band for a third time this year followed by a long awaited performance from Ali Ingle and the wait was worth it.

So from the bleach blonde retro look in September I have turned into Richard from the board game Guess Who and now resemble a fisherman. I feel that to cut my beard now would like Samson and my marathon training would suffer a major loss of power. God knows how long my beard will be my May if I persist with the beard idea ! Not only does it make me look a but older I realised when watching top of the pops on TV this evening that I am. What kind of music is that ! Best of a bad bunch would have to the be The 1975 (Who ?? ) So 2013 see’s another year pass. A bonus that nobody died this year and we had a few births thrown into the mix as well. Bring on 2014 and the challenge of that marathon which will be easier than the planned abstinence from booze which is planned for phase three of training. Phase 2 starts this week. All I ask for of 2014 is that I am still here reviewing the year with full health in a years time. A simple but very important thing. Imagine how long my beard will be by then !! (ZZ Top ??? ) So here I am in full glory setting the trend for 2014. Oh how I will mock you all when fisherman hats, Soul II Soul t-shirts and beards are the craze of 2014.

Captain Birdseye

Peace, love and hope you have a great 2014

Fay x x x x x one of the bunch of intellectual’s in the guise of scousers.


Bah Humbug, burger and chips for chrimbo dinner (again)

So christmas eve and the lord have giveth and taken the wife and kids to church and I have seen the light. The light of my playstation 4 and the chance for some spotty kid to batter me on FIFA 2014. Now I am not chrimbo’s biggest fan, never have been but I throw up a smile to keep the masses happy. I don’t need to be told to have fun on this set day and sit down at a set time and have a set meal. I can have fun 365 days a year and as I don’t partake in the traditional festive food servings can indeed eat what I have for chrimbo on 365 days a year.  Last year I did not even have a chrimbo dinner instead sacrificing my meal for the greater cause and was waiting on to serve the missus, kids and sister & family. This year burger and chips have been lined up with the luxurious desserts of a mint chock chip Vienetta for afters (Yes I really do have this) but again might forsake it for the greater cause and its a royal pain in the arse to cook my meal when the focus should be on the main meal for the masses. This year it’s the turn of the in-laws to come around (temptation of cheap mother in law gag resisted) Indeed this year me and the missus are getting each other something small as I would rather save the dollar and have a nice night or weekend away somewhere in the new year.  Such is the new low of chrimbo prezzies it dawned on me this year that what usually would be a mountain of Lynx spray and shower gel, enough to last into late spring will sadly be missing as everybody who bought me them had died !! Such a happy soul aren’t I !! But with work finished and allowing myself a few extra days with no pay off on Sunday I nipped out to get my chrimbo supplies. I say chrimbo supplies but thats just a standard weekend or was should I Say. My challenge of not eating crisps or sliced bread from Dec 1st to Chrimbo eve fell on Sunday. Well 21 and half days was a mighty fine effort and as you can see below I am now sorted until at least boxing day and lets face it Desperado’s., sausage rolls, M&S finest crisps and Colin The Caterpillars are all a man needs in life.

Christmas supplies.

So twas the eve of christmas and a quick visit to Speke Retail and the Card Shop in Garston village and my chrimbo shopping was done in 41 mins. The rest of my day was spent doing nowt and using the excuse of dodgy weather to not go for a jog (I did do 3 miles yesterday)  So the kids are packed off in bed and just a quiet beer tonight before no doubt being woken up at 5am only to tell them pesky kids I aint getting up until 6am. Soon thankfully it will all be over and we can return to normality. About as christmassy as I get will be Deacon Blue’s new single “You’ll Know It’s Christmas” (Video below) But may I wish you all a merry Christmas, enjoy your day don’t get stressed out. Just get pissed, eat loads and toast to your health which is the greatest gift you can have any chrimbo. A special chrimbo mention for Colin and Zoe on the birth of baby Kiki yesterday, congratulations.


Fay x x x x x

Final gigs of the year @TeaStreetBand @Aliingle

So the end of another musical year was rounded off with two last gigs. Been a great year for me seeing music with another Glastonbury in the bag and the excellent first Liverpool International Music Festival (LIMF) along with numerous other gigs . No better way to round the year of than to support two local artists who hopefully will have a great 2014. First up on Thursday night was The Tea Street Band. I first seen these for free at the LIMF back in August and not so long ago at the Zanzibar. Thursdays gig was downstairs at the excellent East Village Arts Club but as mentioned in other blogs the choice of grog isn’t great and the price even worse. But lets not let that get in the way of things. So I got in there in time for the second support act who were By The Sea who we thought had a “Liverpool” sound about them live and had hints of an 80’s influence on them. Anyways I have them lined up to give them a proper listen on Spotify over chrimbo. So onto the main act and The Tea Street Band who were playing their new album. As ever the well known choons “Disco Lights” “Push The Feeling On” and latest single “Lost For Words” (video below) all excellent tracks that will lead to a strong album when released next year. The instrumental “Fiesta” when performed live has the guitars putting you in a trance and “Summer Dreams”  has you floating away. When asked to describe the music of The Tea Street Band the best I could come up with was dance music but played with instruments. A great gig was rounded off with a surprise cover of “You Got The Love” which had all us old “Cheesy Quavers” tapping our feet. Looking forward to seeing the band in 2014 and even had the pleasure of bumping into the lead singer on our way home where I confessed to him I was local weather nerd @Liverpoolweath on Twitter.  Sound fella, boss choons and a great band not to mention the wonderfully insightful tweeting live from the 82 bus most days a week. A journey I have encountered many times myself and see its just as interesting as it was when I was getting the bus to work.

Tea Street Band

So a day off the grog to recover and it was back out for a Saturday night in Liverpool and this time upstairs at the East Village Arts Club for “Do Robots Dream Of Christmas?” featuring a DJ set from  TJS (Thomas J Speight) and performances by Yarbo and Ali Ingle. Yarbo had some lovely laid back choons and once again another act I will look further into. So with the red eyes of the giant on stage robot glowing away it was time for me to encounter Ali Ingle for the first time and shamefully missing his support act of The Christians last year to have an extra bevy or two. So having managed to miss his few performances of the year I finally hunted him down and he did not disappoint. So entering on stage with a robot head on which was tossed into the crowd, sadly not near enough to us to take a robot selfie !! With a full band and Macbook Ali played songs both new and old with stand out tracks “Jekyll & Hyde” and the final song of the night “Tornado” (video below) a song that my two eldest daughters love and know nearly word for word. It gives them a break from 1D and JLS eh !! So with the hastily arranged christmas song ‘ Do Robots Dream Of Christmas” being played and one that I don’t think will be making the Now Thats What I Call Christmas compilation album  Ali Ingle was as good as I expected and another album to look forward to in 2014. I ended up buying an Ali Ingle mug which was originally planned to give to my eldest daughter but then realised middle sprog would be annoyed if she didn’t get one. It was going to be hard enough getting one mug home unscathed after numerous Desperado’s and Stella Cidre so I decided I would have it instead (where is the milk and Oreos)

Ali Ingle "Do Robots Dream Of Christmas"

So a great way to end the musical year and it just shows that on your doorstep there is a wealth of talent who might well not get the breaks their music deserves but this does not put them off and I for one will be looking to watch more local music in the new year and of course it’s a good excuse for a few scoops and a trip to the Botan burger gaff on the way home. I will nail a chrimbo eve blog so will save all well wishes for that. Until then.


Fay x x x x x

The Fay’s attack Sudley house.

So Thursday night and it was off to see Russell Brand at the Liverpool conference centre which is next door to the Echo arena. Never been in there before and it was just like a large lecture theatre but we were lucky enough to be on the 5th row so had boss seats. I first noticed Russell Brand many years ago when he was host of the MTV dance chart. It must have been many years ago for the mere fact I was watching MTV. He always seemed off his tits in the clips on what I assumed was “Gary Ablett’s” but later out I found out it was smack (and no doubt a few Gary’s as well) So following him from his 6 music radio show to BBC radio 2 and “Sachs gate” but not as far as a fan to watch the movies he made, though sadly I have seen his remake of Arthur but not the original. This was the 4th or 5th time I had seen him and as ever he was very funny. Laughter is in the eye of the beholder but I prefer more on the edge comedy that people hate or love with a passion rather than a run of the mill comic who everyone finds slightly funny but has little variation from his or her set. Brand is funny and also quick-witted as he ad-libs the first part of his show with a walk around the audience and a quick look at the local paper. He then settles into his routine which to cut a long story short is how he is a bit like Gandhi, Che Guevara, Malcolm X and Jesus. Brand is very good with his words and has a decent knowledge but the routine slips into “cock” jokes at times so it’s not too heavy going. So Brand was excellent as ever and a couple of post got beers in a hotel opposite the arena and it was time to head home.

So another Saturday grabbing in work, gotta get the dollar for Mrs Fay’s chrimbo prezzies from somewhere. Post work I went up to Sudley House were members of the Sudley Junior School choir were performing which included my eldest Elizabeth. Some 30 years earlier somehow I was a member of the same Sudley Junior School choir. Yes strange I know but then again at the chrimbo school play I sang a solo as The Duchess in Alice in wonderland (my first and only time in drag) Looking back at that I must have been a different person as I can’t believe I would do such a thing. Need to be pissed to sing now. Maybe I was already on the Thunderbirds at the age of 10. The height of me I wouldn’t have been far off getting served in the local Thresher offy. I was a good boy though and waited until I was at least 14 before going to The Threshers for myself ! I even remember going to Paddington Comprehensive for a singing contest as part of the choir. So it was very busy at Sudley house, that much that we had to stand outside the performance room and peer in from distance but we could still hear the choir. I have been going to Sudley house since I was a child (using the bogs to get water when playing footy on the field) and remember one room had a marble statue with her tits out which was highly amusing as a 9-year-old. Sudley House was built around 1820 and was left to the council by the Holt family. So I was there with the missus and two other kids. Holly the youngest (20 months) hasn’t been too well (chest infection) and had to go to Alder Hey yesterday because of a rash but thankfully all was ok started coughing. Next thing a bubble of phlegm started to come up and this was followed by a large vomit onto what I can only assume was a very old bit of carpet. Fair play to the people who worked there who were more concerned about Holly than the carpet but here was me thinking that after 30 years of going there I would be barred for an act of civic vandalism by one of my offspring.

Sudley House

So apologies to the Holt family, the people who work in Sudley House and the citizens of Liverpool for the Fay family’s small act of vandalism today and hope the angelic singing from Fay the eldest made up for the vomiting fay the younger who follows in her fathers footsteps by taking the knock up Sudley though mine was on the field in 1990 after downing a litre of Stock Bianco Vermouth mixed with orange cordial and consumed via a 10 pence carton drink. Well done to the rest of the Sudley Junior choir and as an ex member I am available to do a collaboration and still know all the lyrics to “Street Tuff” by The Rebel M.C if you want to do backing vocals ?


Fay x x x x x

I am Richard from guess who

So a break from the blogging world and if the autumn statement was anything to go by this blog is now at the start of a recovery (ahem ! ) Had little time to blog as my life has been consumed getting Grand Theft Auto V finished by the time I got my Playstation 4. Just about managed that but then FIFA 2014 consumed my life. Sad I know so I herby take a break and give you this fantastic blog. Well whats gone on then in my ickle life. I can announce that my marathon 2014 training has started a few weeks back when one Monday I dragged my fat arse out and done a 3 mile jog swiftly followed by a trip to Steve’s chippy after. OK OK Rome wasn’t built in a day and from tiny acorns do mighty oak trees grow. Just two runs a week at the moment increasing half a mile a week and two games of footy and that means on Monday I will be up to five miles and just the small matter of another 21 and a bit to go. It’s a start though and things going well so far which includes no crisps or sliced bread from Dec 1st until chrimbo eve. Let me tell you know that I reckon that 23 day challenge is proving fucking harder than the marathon training ! So after being a blonde for September I decided to grow a winter beard. This time though instead of when getting my hair cut shaving my beard off I have kept the beard. So apart from looking like my head is on upside down and well on my way to looking like Tim “fucking cunt both shit fuck fuck” Howard I realised that I am morphing into the character Richard from the board game Guess Who.

Guess who Richard

So if I keep growing the beard and drop a few pounds with the marathon training my ambition aim of looking like Richard will be complete. I could then put a request out on Twitter for people who look like all the other characters from guess who and then as a piece of modern art have live people in the the format of the board game down at the Pier Head and invite people to have a game of life-size Guess Who. Such will be the popularity of my Guess Who artwork I will then take it around the UK and then the world charging councils a few bob to have us all come down whilst having the other live characters on a zero hour minimum was contract. Jib mechanical spiders or Titanic puppets nothing like a quick game of life-size Guess Who to brighten up your day !

Over a month away and that’s the best you can come up with I here you say. Well I could have come back moaning about the impending chrimbo season, prattled on about the autumn statement (Nearly did a couple of times) A couple of gigs have passed since the last blog but not wanting to become a musical review blog I went to see the Lumineers at Manchester Apollo who were very good but sadly I only had their Glastonbury performance from 2013 to compare it to and it was never gonna beat that. Curious note from that night was when we stopped of at Frankie & Benny’s the car park was 10p and the machine wouldn’t accept it. Not wanting to run the risk of a crazy fine for 10p the people from Frankie and Bennys said put a menu in the window and it will be OK. I was thinking of just leaving a few 10p’s out. So if your ever at the Trafford Road Frankie and Bennies just bang a menu in your car window and save yourself 10p. I am tempted to go on the Martin Lewis money saving expert web site to pass on this saving. Wednesday night was a return trip to the Manchester Apollo to see Deacon Blue for the 458th time and as ever they were brilliant and I was good and volunteered to drive and so with money I saved from not drinking I treated myself to their latest album “The Hipsters” on vinyl.

So work tomorrow to grab a few more pounds for the chrimbo cause but after a grotty week in work with systems playing up and a bit of shit hitting the fan elsewhere I have rewarded myself with a Desperado (or at least 6) A busy month still to come with Russell Brand , The Tea Street band and Ali Ingle’s do robots dream of christmas all still to come. I will try and blog a bit more as I am sure you are all missing it but my chrimbo bah humbug might just get the better of me but for you suckers who love chrimbo there should be some snow on my blog for this month only and no not Nigella’s type of snow !


Fay x x x x x

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