I am now a shareholder in a footy club (Updated)

So late last night whilst in bed for 9pm on a Friday night I noticed something on Twitter. There was just under two hours left for you to subscribe to become a shareholder in a Spanish Football team who are currently in the third tier of Spanish footy. The price for one share was £8.25. This was something I had always fancied doing and even local team Tranmere were looking to so something whilst back that never quite came off. So I took the plunge and bought a share in Real Oviedo. I told my two of my mates and one decided to join me in the boardroom and buy a share himself. Just need to order a couple of sheepskin jackets though could be a bit hot in Spain so maybe some sheepskin speedo’s. First up was then a check to see how shite Real Oviedo are. To my surprise they have just won one of the four third divisions in the Spanish league. This put them into a draw against another winner over two legs and the winner of that will go into the Spanish 2nd tier just one below the mighty La Liga. Real Oviedo were in La Liga in 2001 before a couple of relegations and then the usual money problems seen them drop into the fourth tier of Spanish footy. They have one UEFA cup campaign to their name in 1991/1992. So back to the present day and the were drawn at home first against Cadiz in a two leg match to see who gets promoted. The first leg ended 1-1 with the second leg due to be played on 31st May. So not only am I a shareholder but also instant glory hunter with a big game tomorrow. Due to the fun and games of the Spanish lower leagues even if they lose this Real Oviedo will drop into the no champions promotion play off for a second bite of the cherry.

Real Oviedo badge

So next up was to work out exactly were Oviedo is ? Oviedo is not far from the northern coast of Spain. it is the birthplace of Fernando Alonso and Michu (Former Swansea City player) I think some kind of shareholders pilgrimage to Oviedo could be in order to see our team play in their 30,000 capacity stadium (Estadio Municipal Carlos Tartiere)which judging by the picture below looks like a nifty modern stadium and ready for my club to go places. But one match at a time and all eyes on the important second leg away to Cadiz !!!  Then the two scouse shareholders can try and blag into the Oviedo boardroom.


Estadio Municipal Carlos Tartiere Real Oviedo


So will I become the next Abramovich or more likely judging my the amount of beer and sausage rolls he eats the next Mike Ashley. I will get my £8.25 worth out of my share and will look out for the results of my new club. I will even throw some more money into the club and buy next seasons top. I wonder if there is any shareholder discount. Anyway below is the share certificate I got to print off. Just time to start singing come on your blues on Sunday ermmmmmm on second thoughts I might have to give that song a miss.

Real Oviedo share certificate



So a half marathon in just over two weeks and after all that hard work comes Glastonbury 2015 which by the end of June you will all be bored stiff of me mentioning.


***** UPDATE 31.05.15 *****

So a tense first half following on Twitter and it was 0-0. Oviedo need to score an away goal. Around 1o mins into the second half and a corner to Oviedo met by the head of David Fernandez and it’s 1-0 to my boys. Some more chances missed and will they be costly. By this time I have managed to find an internet stream of the game. 90 mins and a great save from a long range shot by the Oviedo keeper and 4 mins injury time and up comes the Cadiz Keeper for a corner the ball is cleared but headed back in the box and an overhead kick from the keeper goes wide. This is tense stuff. Time nearly up but a direct free kick for Cadiz just outside the box. The keeper watches it sail over. Thats it Oviedo are promoted back to the second tier of Spanish footy. I have been a shareholder less than 48 hours and tasted glory. Gonna pour myself a glass of wine to celebrate. Bring on next season  and just one league away from the Spanish big boys.


Fay x x x x x x


RIP 051 and those boat things

So for my own sanity I decided to have a break from blogging after the marathon all day and night election blog. Waking up the next day to that result I decided not to offer any views on events as not to depress myself anymore. Anyways a few weeks on and a rather busy bank holiday weekend with lots to mention from the past and present. First up 10 years since Istanbul and 1 year since I completed the Liverpool marathon and both still to this day remain modern miracles. Last night seen the last ever night in the old 051 Club. Just under 21 years ago on a September evening back in 1994 I went the 051 for the first time. Looking back it really was a life changing event and sent me on a path to a few years serious clubbing. Now the old place was holding it’s last ever night before the gaff gets demolished. I was offered the chance to pop in there early doors but turned it down mainly because I was still hungover from a 2am finish at a friends house and a long walk home. Walking up Rose Lane to Mossley Hill church is a slog at the best of times never mind at 2:30am after 9 Desperados, a few beers, one port, numerous caramel vodkas and a few home measure whisky and cokes to finish off. Judging by the time it took me to make it home I must have at one point been taking one step up Rose Lane and back down two !! The second reason for not popping into the 051 was the memories are so cherished. No camera phones and posting on social media sites about the night as it happened. Just fond memories of the trip down the stairs into the dark club and getting settled in my speck (Pic Below) waiting for the fun to begin, your fave choon being dropped and getting to know other regulars in the club who like ourselves never missed a week and often went Friday and Saturday. Ahhhh the days of hair a 32″waist pair of jeans and not having to give a fuck about anything.

My speck in the 051 club in Liverpool


As with every good thing there is also some downsides. We could keep this lovely story going but lets nail a truth. At some point in the evening you would have to venture into the toilets and what an adventure it was. The bogs used to be steaming full of hot sweaty “Cheesy Quavers” and if you were unlucky enough you would have to venture into a trap to do your business. Now post midnight and a lot worse for wear yourself you would be lucky to find some wet toilet roll which had been on the floor and covered in what you hoped was “club mud” in extreme circumstances you could spot a half soggy flyer and just go for it sound in the knowledge that once your business was out of the way you could the sample the delights that the 051 could offer where you would be in your own world and dance the night away. The 051 will always have a special place in my heart and I would to go back to 1994 in a TARDIS and have one more night, though take a dump in the TARDIS’s toilets. Below is a snap from the pristine toilets from the last ever night. I can not even begin to explain some of the states I wandered down to the sinks below to wash my face and sort myself out or indeed wash my hands post using a flyer for what they definitely are not designed for. It would be great to walk up them stairs back out of the 051 for one last time but it just would never have been the same doing it in 2015

Club 051 Liverpool toilets

Now back in 1994 some people might say I wasn’t as grumpy as I am now ha ha and there would always be a wide smile on my face in the 051. This weekend in Liverpool has been dominated by the visit of Cunard’s three queens. Well done if you enjoyed it. A big boat, just like a big fucking puppet is exactly what it says on the tin. I have no interest in being with the masses to view these things and you can call me all the miserable things under the sun. Thanks to the wonders of social media I got to see the whole thing anyway and indeed my first thoughts were backed up. They are indeed just big fuck off boats. If a boat hasn’t got Sealink on the side and were loading up with cheap ale coming home from France then it’s not a proper boat. On Saturday we had our own boat as me and the in-laws went on a pleasant barge trip for three hours up by Maghull. Now that’s boating. Instead I headed down to Sefton Park and take in the culture that is “Artisans in The Palm House” once again a lovely event. Just sitting off on the grass of the Palm House with a beer, sadly I don’t think The Liverpool Gin stall was there this year and then finally getting to eat one of The Moon & Pea’s sausage roll which gets a 9/10 score. So thats a busy bank holiday weekend wrapped up. Time for a few beers and I might bang on a few 051 classic choons, put the shower on full top heat to create a steamy toilet and then use a spare conservative election flyer still about the house to wipe my arse on. Ahhhh back to the election again grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Peace and an Istanbul memory below.

Fay x x x x x x

Pete Price is a cunt flag Istanbul


Election 2015 live blog

So 9am and a first update of my election live blog. I am still undecided what to do for the general election and still might spoil my paper though I don’t know if I can be arsed to take my crayons in and spoil my paper like the one below ! Last election live blog was one of my most read blogs for some reason ? Election Blog 2010 here After weeks of election hammer the news stations have to go quiet on election day and wait for the all important closing of the polls and then the excitement of the exit polls. I am gonna have a disco nap after work so I can stay up until the wee small hours and then be glued to the TV tomorrow as the dawn of a new era starts and what I think will be an era of complete politics chaos. I counted once at a local election when I was a student to get some beer tokens and believe it or not all candidates will be huddled around the below artistic drawing and trying to see if they can claim the vote ! It’s gonna be a long day.   Spoilt election paper.   12pm update………………….As the news is on election lockdown we have pictures of the party leaders going to vote ZZZZZzzzzzzzz Just had an election flashback to 1996 and “Things can only get better” from (New) Labour. Ahh the memories, such optimism and now looking back maybe the theme tune should have been “War” by Edwin Starr. Still have not voted. Will pop down later and take the kids to show them what it is all about.

16:30 update………………Still haven’t been around to vote yet. I have noticed a lot of social media action with people posting on Twitter and Facebook that they have voted. One amusing hashtag on Twitter is #Dogsatpollingstations I suppose I better take our dog Benny The Morkie around for a picture outside our local polling station. I wonder how Nigel Farage will get on in his constituency. The result is expected about 6am so I will be catching some sleep by then I hope ! Lets hope he is not looking as smug as this tomorrow morning but then again if he wins its one less Tory seat. I am confused already.  Time for a disco nap soon now I have finished work and then the long slog until at least 4am I reckon.

A smug Nigel Farage

19:40 update……………..So I have been to vote and taken my two daughters (10 & 7) and shown them what goes on inside a polling station. For the record I voted green at local level to save Sefton Park Meadows and casted a spoilt paper in the general election. Not much room to spoil my paper as I added Revolution and a box with an X in underneath the candidates and then put lines through all the candidates careful not to go near the box which you put your X is as they will all be haggling for the vote if you do. On a lighter note we took our dog down and posted his #DogsAtPollingStations picture on Twitter. Time to go out and get some election munchies and then catch up on Charlie Brooker’s Election Wipe.


22:10 Exit poll update…………. First up I have just dropped off my own exit poll in our toilet but have my own expert who will only be know as election expert “Q” his predictions are

287 Conservative

270 Labour

51 SNP

27 Liberal Democrats


13 Others

Alarmingly the proper exit poll is pointing to a Tory minority. God I hope they are wrong. This has shaken me so much I have poured an election glass of wine to calm my nerves. Anyway out and about before I spotted two sets of Labour car flags. With just hours to go I spot my first election merchandise. Just thing I could have bought my green wooly jumper with Save Sefton Park Meadows to go with my Labour car flags. Or a I am such a rebel I spoiled my paper t-shirt. Oh and of course some David Cameron bog paper. Let’s see how the night develops it can only get better than the exit poll. Please, fucking pretty please.

Labour election car flags
23:00 update………… So I can predict that I will have a bottle of wine , some crisps and a Biscuit Boost tonight. That is a massive increase for the wine party who got 0% in 2010. Paddy Ashdown has said he will eat his hat if the exit poll is correct for a man who got caught with his pants down that doesn’t fill me with confidence. There is a yougov poll that is better for Labour followers but doesn’t seem to be getting any mentions ? For election nerds with Sky check out Sky Arts ch 129 which is showing behind the scenes of election night. Something to check out as we await results to come in and the TV channels have air time to fill. Just a couple of hours till it all kicks off. Sunderland win again on first result home. Why can’t all results be that quick ?

So at 23:00 the scores on the doors are Labour 1 The rest 0 stick that in your exit poll pipe and smoke it. The Daily Mirror isn’t as confident though.

Daily Mirror election headline

00:00 update………….. It’s still all very quiet on the results front. Flicking between coverage on the channels and it’s safe to say that the number of lines on Kay Burley’s face is down 15.6% from the 2010 election to nil and the coalition of the facelift party and Botox party is as strong as ever. BBC going with a virtual Downing Street which is all funky and that but just a good old 2d mock up of the chamber of the Houses of Parliament will do. It seems that Scotland holds they key to many things. It might be time to move up there and vote for independence. A friend of mine gets his UK citizenship on Sunday and just missed out on voting this time. He has lived here most of his life but has an American passport. It Cameron remains in power he might be asking for his American pazzy back. Saving my Biscuit Boost for later on for when I start flagging and finding it hard to keep to a glass of wine an hour. As everybody keeps saying the night is yet young !!! Anyway as I have said jib these modern graphics and here is my own version made with Burton’s Fish ‘n’ Chips snacks

Election graphic Burton's Fish 'n' Chips

At 00:00 the Blue Peter totaliser says Labour 3 (Women 3) the rest nil.

01:00 update ………..and results are still few and far between. The buzz phrase is “it’s still only an exit poll”  my Fish ‘n’ Chips graphics got a mention from The Liverpool Echo. I am such a social media slag aren’t I. I expect things to start kicking off over the next couple of hours as its a bit of a lull now as you can only listen to so much talk about ifs and buts. Kay Burley has just been rendered speechless as she tried to be clever and asking a question over and over again to which she got the reply I will answer this for a second time and he duly did and she had no answer ha ha. In other news as the third glass of wine kicks in my exit poll graphic has taken a massive turn and the Tories have lost a few of their seats. Munchies kicking in but still not time for the Biscuit Boost.

The league table looks like this at 01:00 Labour 3 Tories 2 rest of the slags who might jump in bed with somebody  0

Update election graphic
02:00 update………………..I said a few years back this fixed term parliament was bollocks and it might rear its ugly head over the coming months. But back to the present and still very slow results wise. At the moment things look like they could be worse than the exit poll predicted. I’m finding myself watching BBC more than Sky as its too late in the night to put up with Burley and Boulton. One thing for sure though is as was easily predicted by me days after the 2010 election the Lib Dems have seen their arse. The jovial mood of the day is being replaced by darkness like a young Anakin Skywalker on the path to becoming Darth Vader Cameron . I think I need a game of tennis to cheer myself up but they are all the tennis centres are being used for election counts !! Oh well more wine it is then.  Sky showing the Paisley count and how all the spoiled papers are shown to the candidates to see if they can be claimed. Imagine being shown the one at the top of this blog ha ha. So OK time for the two hours of serious results to start happening. Never mind going to Scotland I think I might be leaving the country all together.
The top of the pops charts at 02:00 Labour 9 Tories 4 Rest of the shite 5

Nick Clegg Thats all folks
03:00 update………………….So it’s all kicking off up in Scotland a 20 year old student has won a seat. When I was a 20 year old student I wouldn’t wake up until Wednesday after a hard weekend clubbing. Down in Wales it seems the returning officer has a giant script to read from (Pic Below) I can report the wine turnout in Aigbuth is now onto a second bottle. I have had the Biscuit Boost to see me through to a final 4am blog to equal 2010’s live blog. First pictures of Cameron are broadcast and I can’t even bring myself to boo as I have traditionally been doing in the debates when he first appears my bubble is well and truly burst. Help me Obi wan Sturgeon a progressive alliance is my only hope. I see an Irn Bru boycott ahead.


Giant welsh returning officer paper
So the league tables shows Labour 28 SNP 16 Tories 16 RIP Lib Dems 1 Others 12

03:00 in 2010 was  Lab 76 Con 71 Lib 9 Oth 21 slow on the count this year. Bigger turnout ?

04:00 update……………Last one for the night. Och aye the bloodbath in Scotland continues. But for what gain ?

I Neil George Fay the returning officer for Aigburth herby give notice that I have no wine left., the Biscuit Boost has been scoffed and I have to take the kids to school and nursery in the morning thus declaring it is time for bed. Hope you have enjoyed this 19 hour live blog and no doubt there will be more bollocks posted late today. To recycle an old joke there will now be more panda’s in Scotland than Labour MP’s ?

The hope when taking a jovial #DogsAtPollingStations picture before has evaporated. Let the bedroom tax continue, let the cuts get deeper, let the rich get richer. I could have told you Miliband was not up to it but I thought he might scrape through to get something.  Postmortem time later today.  I shall now go to sleep thinking what kind of country do I live in and remembering the NHS as it was.


Here is your last seats update

Labour 87 Bastards 51 SNP 39  Lib Who ? 3 Others 16

In 2010 4am scores were Lab 120 Con 148 Lib 23 Oth 25


Peace and please not 5 more years of the Tory party in any form. hmmmmmmm

Fay x x x x x x

So whats in my beard then ? Spring 10k and Election Fever.

So with all these bloody hipsters who seem to have their nest in The Camp & Furnace growing beards I have often grown a beard just through sheer laziness. So with it becoming trendy or so we are told to have some facial hair I decided to strike back at these hipsters often young lads who could put some milk on their grids and get the cat to lick their whipsy beards off I decided to out-beard those hipster folk and grow a big fuck off beard with the plan being that whilst in Glastonbury in June we would make a pilgrimage to the craft fields and decorate my growth and then shave it off on my return to Liverpool as I don’t think a hippy beard with decorations would go unnoticed in Liverpool and I would deservedly get some stick. So I have been growing my beard since October 2014 with a trim at the sides now and again to try to keep it to some sort of manageable levels. With the last few weeks now until Glastonbury its time to grow the whole think out for one last almighty fuzzball of an effort. Mrs Fay has grown a massive disliking to the beard and the “Christmas” and “Birthday” treats have been withdrawn though I have only missed out on the chrimbo treat. So people have been keen to point out an article in the paper over the weekend entitled

Some beards contain more poo than a toilet shocking study reveals

Sorry hipsters with your fancy face hair – apparently the average beard can have more poo in it than a toilet. Yum. According to microbiologists, hairy faces could actually be dirtier than a loo because of the rancid bacteria that beards collect. John Golobic, of Quest Diagnostics in New Mexico, swabbed a number of beards searching for bacteria and determined that while several beards contained normal bacteria, but some contained so much poo they were comparable to toilets. If there were similar samples in the water system, the scientist said it would have to be shut down for disinfecting. Now I readily admit its been a good few years now since I have used shampoo and conditioner on my barnet but since growing my beard I have been using Mrs Fay’s shampoo and conditioner and in return she can now shave her armpits on the sly with my blades. So my beard it would seem be in fine health. Though I do have a tendency to play with it in work and the beard as well which is the number one way to get poop in your beard. Now I will admit the other night whilst doing this I did think hmmmm is that some Nutella stuck in my beard which I now think could be shite but thankfully it was just a large crumb of a penguin biscuit I had earlier that week !

This weekend it was the Liverpool Spring 10k and what a well organised race to was. It was 10k around the Sefton Park area and I wasn’t confident of anywhere near a personal best (PB) but the rain went away and I ended up having a good crack at it with an Ethiopian style kick for home which must amuse the on looking crowd as I give it the bifters up the slight incline to the finish which after 10k is a mighty effort. Alas 53:21 this time outside my best of 52:36. I am putting those vital seconds down to the drag of my beard and the extra weight of all that poo in it ! As the pictures show below my beard was flowing in the wind and the effort of that last 200m sprint can be seen on my face. Today I entered the ballot for the 2016 London Marathon. The odds are stacked against getting in but it would just be my luck to win a place though secretly I would love to do that race. So much to look at whilst running and massive crowds as well. Ah well fingers crossed.

Liverpool Spring 10k


Liverpool Spring 10k

So the royal baby was named today and if she was called Charlotte Elizabeth Holly Saxe-Coburg & Gotha it would of been the hatrick for my daughters names but Holly was replaced by Queen of hearts Diana and of course her title to be used is Her Royal Highness Princess Charlotte of Cambridge. Cant really give William stick as two of my daughters have my mums name Lillian as a middle name and poor Holly got Eileen as she was born just after my nan died. On the plus side think of the fun she can have when “Come on Eileen” is played at weddings etc !

So election fever is rife and I love an election. It was the 1983 election (I was 9) that for some reason I loved. I wonder if it was the fact that my dad used to have us posting Labour leaflets, you know in the days of proper Labour. I remember conducting my own opinion poll around the streets of Aigburth asking people who they would vote for and then putting this on some paper and into the ballot plazzy bag ready to count up on election day. I recall a teacher in my school (Sudley Juniors) found out about this and a gang of us were encouraged to ask the kids in school who they would vote for and then the counting and results were woven into a lesson, teaching at its best. Needless to say it was a Labour landslide but Thatcher won the real one. I can’t imagine Elizabeth even knowing there is an election on Thursday. Must ask her though in the past I have taken her to a polling station to show here what goes on. So as a 9-year-old I tried to stay up as late as possible to watch the results come in on my black and white portable TV which no matter what position you put the aerial or moved the TV in the room you could never get a perfect picture. I think I must have made it to about 1am and not seen many results but 1am as a 9-year-old was such a mighty effort. Little did I know I would go onto lose weekends staying up in the 90’s clubbing ha ha. A few years later I remember having a general election game for my ZX Spectrum (Nerd) So this year I will be staying up. I have even booked a day of Friday so I can stay up late and watch the aftermath of the result and like in 2010 I will be live blogging which was one of my most read blogs for some strange reason (Election nerds unite) So next time you read a blog of mine it will be decision day. I only hope the country votes jarg Labour in but I have a feeling if you don’t like elections then Thursday is just your starter for what will be weeks of post-election shenanigans. Bring it on this is the most exciting election for years.

So Pogonophobia sufferers like Mrs Fay the beard will be gone soon. That is unless I try to go for a turd covered ZZ Top effort ?


His Scallyness Neil George Fay Cock of Aigburth x x x x x x

Otterspool Prom, unspoilt until………

So I went for a jog the other day and thought as it wasn’t too breezy I would take a stretch of Otterspool Promenade in. Now for the quick history lesson. The Prom is a grand old age of 65 this year and was constructed in the late 1940’s by landscaping a site that had been used for disposal of household waste and rubble from the Queensway Tunnel. The first stretch was from by Cressington (Garston) running along to Jericho Lane. My first memories of The Prom is from the 80’s heading down there on our BMX’s and then soon after having a den in the site of the then being constructed 1984 International garden Festival. I would have been 10 then the same age as my daughter. Imagine letting my daughter disappear all Saturday to go down to Otterspool on her bike to make and play in a den. Imagine what fun that would be for her. Sadly its watching “you tubers’ on her iPad in the safety of her house as we are led to believe its an evil world out there and wrap your kids up in cotton wool. Sad times indeed. In the distance on the picture below you can see some shelters that sadly had to be pulled down as they encouraged “Anti social” behaviour. Nowt wrong with me climbing up on them in the 80’s and I can imagine being posed as a threat as The Bogeyman could be hiding in one ready to pounce out and get you. Once the Garden Festival closed the stretch of promenade extended further down the river and eventually by the late 90’s if I recall you could get all the way to town along the front. When I was in my bike riding phase I would often ride from Garston right along the front and you would finally come out by Costco. A lovely ride when it wasn’t too busy but even on the best summers day you always seemed to be riding home into a headwind and taking the risk of being chased by a random dog so tended to swerve the front on busy summers days but it was always lovely to walk along.


Otterspool Prom opening


So onto the present day and now in a jogging phase (Cant wait for my sit down and do nothing phase thought I will most probably turn into Giant Haystacks if I wasn’t in a “phase”) So again as a jogger you have to be aware of bikes and dogs both in front of you and behind but as I jogged from the Garston end towards Aigburth I could see something blocking the promenade. I thought this must be a tough run if I am hallucinating. The image was of something blocking half of the Promenade. No surely not. 65 years of an unbroken Prom. One of the best stretches of Liverpool. As I got near my fears were compounded as it was something deffo blocking half of the Prom. Then it dawned on me half of the Prom was blocked off by a new installation of City Bikes. Now these City Bikes are a great idea and doing well. But who (I assume some pen pusher in an office) decided to bang a load of them sprawling across half of The Prom especially as there is acres of space spare just to the side of The Prom. So the unspoiled Prom (Pic Below) now has massive obstacle across half of it. I feel a bit Victor Meldrew moaning about this but it reminds me of those daft 10 foot cycle lanes you see in the papers now and again or ones that run into a dead end. It also has the potential to cause an accident and in the blame culture we live in one of the city’s claim specialists will be all over giving a free iPad out to take your claim. I hope somebody sees common sense and just relocates the City Bikes on the side where the grass is and once again The Prom is restored to it’s full unbroken glory. Just as it was designed back in the late 40’s and at a time when city planners got so much wrong the design and construction of The Prom was a bit of genius. Banging a load of cycles across half of it isn’t !


Otterspool Prom being built


Liverpool City Bikes block The Prom

Liverpool City Bikes Otterspool



Fay x x x x x x

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