Egg chasing, Mid Life crisis and bloody Foreigner(s)


So it’s the time every 4 years we all watch rugby (union) and pretend we know what is going on but because it’s England and unlike the footy team there is a chance we might win it we all become rugby experts. I missed the start of the England V Wales match as I was doing a kind deed and dropping somebody off at a night-time wedding do. So by the time I settled down with a Desperados I had already missed loads of goals and the score was 6-6. At one point it was clear that rugby is indeed a game of chance and it can depend on what side the egg lands on as a ball suddenly came to life and bounced out of play in what seemed like the laws of physics being broken. Anyway next up was a lady in not quite a hat bit indeed looking like a twat. It was in the style of a rose but with her face being the middle of the rose. Deffo 1-0 England there but never fear later on Wales equalised with a similar twat in a daffodil effort. In the words of the mighty Jegsy Dodd “Grumpy Old Men” it goes like this “And the ones who wear jesters hats at festivals and footy and paint their faces. You are neither funny, ironic or wacky. You are TWATS. And when judgement day comes you will be punished for crimes against humanity and taste” Next observation is how the penalty kickers have some kind of OCD when setting up for a kick (This comes from a man who has 1980’s cutlery from Argos that were from his parents house !! HEREĀ Ā ) but each to their own. Anyways in the end as ever the mighty England got beat and I then remember my nan’s sister who was called great Aunty Peg did indeed live in Llandudno so I could still claim a moral victory. After all I must have spent what seemed like thousands of pounds in the Golden Goose arcade at the start of the pier during the late 1970’s and early 80’s. So in defeat a man with a bleached blonde hair mohican and big bushy black beard looking not a big a twat as the rose and daffodil women (I did dye my hair bleach blonde back in the day being trendy !! Ā and for my 40th as a mock on my trendiness) was slumped looking dejected on the England bench. He was a big fella and I wouldn’t say he looked like a twat with his blonde mohican and different coloured beard to his face. In fact he looked that hard that if he wanted to I would put a rose hat on with my fat face in the middle and I would bend over and be his English Rose !

So my twin niece and nephew were 17 yesterday. I will be honest and I think thisĀ hasĀ kick started another mid life crisis as I remembered when I was 17 and it seems like it was yesterday. I wished them happy birthday via the numerous social media channels. Surely thats enough but no Mrs Fay bought them a birthday card at a cost of 39p. Not only that but because they were twins it was a card each. I ended up sealing their cards before putting their money in and Mrs Fay pointed out that I was a tit for doing this. I said I would drop their cards and money off. So Ā£20 each was it. I make that Ā£20 to split and Ā£20 in my “Sky rocket” happy days. Anyway my depression that I was 42 and not 17 soon lifted as I found out both my niece and nephew had been working. Ha ha ha ha ha, losers. I am 42 and never worked on my birthday yet. Don’t get me wrong I am not one who enjoys birthdays (surprise surprise I hear you say) but I have proclaimed it a bank holiday for me and never worked on it. Unrelated or is it ? I have found myself listening to Foreigners “I want to know what love is” a lot recently. Now I confess to buying this on 12″ single in 1985. Indeed as my appetite for music was growing I decided that I should start my own library of UK number ones. Imagine how fucking good that will look when I am 42 !! So first number one of 1985 was Foreigner. I tried my best but as you can see by the list below I said enough was enough at Wham despite having Make It Big on vinyl which I can only assume was a cunning plan to gain me attention at junior discos ? So Whitney and Shaky were the last two number ones of the year that I refused to buy and the dream of a number one archive was already dead. So back to Foreigner and as I have said I have recently began to listen to this again. I never paid it much attention at the time. It was just record one in what was to be the archives of all archives. So excited was I at this archive I even bought the 12″ version. Years later it was always a track on late night ITV adverts that was on those CD compliations not available in the shops fromTime Life music. Those adverts that I learned the choons of by heart as I suffered from mid 1990’s post clubbing midweek insomnia. So is “I want to know what love is” a dodgy 80’s power ballad or indeed a powerful bit of music with some mesmerising Ā gospel harmonies that I will be honest only noticed the power of them the other day when revisiting the track. Is this midlife crisis time harking back to a choon that I so vividly remember playing in my mum and dads house in the front room on our boss new “deck” with built in cassette and Fm stereo radio when I was 12. Is it just a cheesy power ballad. Or indeed an underrated choon and what could be deemed a classic. Let me know.

In the words of Farage those bloody foreigners coming over here stealing our gospel tinged power ballads. Send the fuckers back to America, oh hang on a mo one was born in Somerset ???

 

Foreigner "I want to know what love is" 12"

For reference here are the number ones of 1985

Shakin Stevens Merry Christmas Everyone 2 22-12-1985
Whitney Houston Saving All My Love For You 2 08-12-1985
Wham! Im Your Man 2 24-11-1985
Feargal Sharkey A Good Heart 2 10-11-1985
Jennifer Rush The Power Of Love 5 06-10-1985
Midge Ure If I Was 1 29-09-1985
David Bowie and Mick Jagger Dancing In The Street 4 01-09-1985
UB40 ft Chrissie Hynde I Got You Babe 1 25-08-1985
Madonna Into The Groove 4 28-07-1985
The Eurythmics There Must Be An Angel 1 21-07-1985
Sister Sledge Frankie 4 23-06-1985
The Crowd Youll Never Walk Alone 2 09-06-1985
Paul Hardcastle Nineteen 5 05-05-1985
Phyllis Nelson Move Closer 1 28-04-1985
USA For Africa We Are The World 2 14-04-1985
Philip Bailey duet with Phil Collins Easy Lover 4 17-03-1985
Dead Or Alive You Spin Me Round 2 03-03-1985
Elaine Paige and Barbara Dickson I Know Him So Well 4 03-02-1985
Foreigner I Want To Know What Love Is 3 13-01-1985

Peace

Fay x x x x x x x

Just found out the gospel choir who done backing vocals released their own version, you decide.

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