So time for another one of my cultural reviews. The venue this time is Barcelona in Spain. It was a 12pm meet in Liverpool Airport and my money was put into the first “Walter” (Mitty) A few beers later and we were into the luxurious hands of Ryan Air for a 1 hour and 55 minutes (Nobody won the guess the time flight sweep) flight to Spain. Towards the end of the flight thanks to the power of TV advertising we noticed one of the lads was showing all the indications of having a stroke though thankfully it was just his reaction to seeing how much a bevy had cost on the flight. A quick taxi into central Barcelona and we arrived at our apartments and first up a few of us legged it to the local supermarket for supplies to see us through the 3 nights which was a load of Estrella, crusty bread, ham, cheese, hot dogs and of course the Spanish exclusive of Jamon Ruffles. The supermarket fella was so glad to of made such a huge sale that just like when landing on time on the Ryan Air flight he lashed on a Bangra choon over his tannoy and the party was started for the first night. Once out one of the lads spotted his phone was running out of power and he hadn’t brought a charger with him. He then piped up “Has anybody got an I-Phone 4 charger” There was silence and Spanish Tumbleweed rolling past us. What was this primitive technology of the aforementioned iPhone 4 ? We chuckled to ourselves (iPhone 4 phhhhhfffffftttt) and walked down a narrow Barcelona street. Then as if by magic not one but at least 10 mobile phone shops appeared and his prayer had been answered. Mobile Phone street then led us to Las Ramblas. Now I had heard many things about Las Ramblas main about pickpocketing which the led to us all looking like a one man band conventions day out as every few minutes you are tapping your pockets to see you still have your cash and phone. Anyway we made it to a bar full of jam jars off a side street of Las Ramblas and a Tom Collins cocktail it was !!! We took in many more cultural reviews of bars I can’t remember many of which seemed Irish Bars which are normally avoided as you mainly want to sample the local culture but there wasn’t much else on offer that we had found. We did find a lovely square to sit on and have a drink before making it home to a cafe underneath our apartment and we planned ourselves sitting on the outside hatch of the place and attempting to drink the place dry of Bailey’s which I am not sure we managed but we did come home with disco glasses ?
So day two and not much of a hangover we headed of for some breakfast about 12pm. The day was spent walking around Barcelona and stopping off for pubs, sadly taking in both the Liverpool and Everton games before we headed of down to the coast and ended up at some bar down there. We then had a stroll down a closed off street where there was a festival going on and me and Ian had an impromptu race which despite Ian’s great start I won. It was then we realised our race track bit of the road wasn’t actually closed off as soon after a bus came whizzing past from what would have been behind us as racing. With a DJ playing out the top of a car it was time to head up to the match and thankfully our cab driver was just as funky as he got down to some Michael Jackson in the cab with us. This led to a sing song all the way to the Estadio del Camp Nou with his playlist being “We Are The World” “99 Red Balloons” “Personal Jesus” and ‘Our House” which had us all merrily singing along and the cab driver was putting in some actions for us. We arrived at the ground handy and had a pint by the ground with some fellow fans who were in good voice. Here it was a challenge was thrown down as we were by a bus stop and the busses were bendy busses. The challenge was to run on the back door and get off at the front door. Sadly nobody had the bottle to do it. So we entered the ground and were met with the option of 0% beer ! Diet coke and a hot dog or two it was then. The ground itself was very impressive and massive but sadly it turned out just to be a soulless bowl. Full of tourists eating hot dogs and drinking diet coke who no doubt were wearing disco glasses like a gang of twats the night before. This is deffo the way Anfield is going as well but compared the the Estadio del Camp Nou Anfield is a cauldron when it’s a home game against Stoke. Anyway the match was good with Barcelona beating Rayo Vallecano and Neymar netting 4 goals (Ever been to a match where somebody has scored 4 ? ) We ended up walking home from the Estadio del Camp Nou taking in some Spanish bars for a change and hitting the vodka red bull. We ended up back at a bar called Hogan’s who called last orders on us but it seemed we were the only people who actually left ? Back to a square we found for a last short or two and this time it was Barcelona pork pie hats and disco rings as we got an invite into the club bit. We staggered back to the apartment for more hot dogs for supper and the three of us that remained awake ended up staying up until 5:30am before we had finally sang all the nursery rhymes from Justin or was it Mr Tumble’s album on Spotify. Top tip put your phone in a glass coffee holder to a louder sound !
Fuck me I was tired getting up at 11am after 5 hours sleep. We made it for some breakfast but such was the gaff we were in I had one option. Hamburger or nothing. So hamburger it was ! We found a bar to watch the first game of rugby and I was struggling to focus thought I did manage a bevy. I felt like the world was looking at me and as we walked in the second pub a very busy Irish bar I could not take any more and headed home for a sleep. After a couple of hours kip and a biscuit boost I was back and met them in the same pub. The lads then decided to go for a posh steak so I went for a walk around Barcelona taking in a bit of culture and a church (See below) Meeting the lads again it was time for the last push and away we went again. In yet another Irish pub a man was trying to sell me a rose. I said no but he then pointed to a girl for me to buy her a rose. I lifted my left hand up and pointed to my wedding ring. The reply was an international symbol recognised by all men and the fella gestured to putting the ring in his small pocket in his jeans. Us men might not speak the same language but we all know what the small pocket in your jeans was designed for. After a sway home to look for some scran and we could not find anywhere but a supermarket that was open it was time for another hot dog festival in the apartment and this time it was only a 4.30 am finish and the music was slightly better a mix of BBC sports theme tunes (we done the actions) and American TV themes which we all sang along to. We had a retrospective first home sweep which paid out on me for my disco nap !
So out the apartment by 11am and ditching our bags we grabbed some food and had a last few beers including some free shots. We cut up a few side streets as the all got presents for our loved ones and it was then decided to have a game of spot the difference (See below) cabs to the airport, more shopping and a last few beers and that was that. Barcelona had eat me up and spat me out. Never felt or looked so tired and wasn’t expecting 3:30, 5:30 and 4:30 am finishes on the ale. It was a cracking weekend and Barcelona was OK, the match was OK but the grog and company made it a boss weekend. Next year we might go to Ireland and drink in a load of Spanish bars. And as you see from the spot the difference I really do need to sort myself out so I am deffo gonna grow my hair longer so I don’t look like a Buddha !
Fay x x x x x x x