So way back in around November 2013 I decided that I would like my late father do a marathon when I was 40. Fast forward to May 2014 and it was race day. Please read Review blog here. Now it was a great effort to get my near 17 stone frame around 26.22 mile course and in June 2014 I managed it. I ended up doing 5 hours 10 mins and 34 seconds. It was great to finish but I was somewhat disappointed with my time and the last few weeks on the ale cheering on Liverpool’s title challenge (Yes remember those days !!! ) cost me big time. The edit on my blog post says “Edit I am never running one of these bastards again so thats my official withdrawal from Rio 2016 !!” Well my Rio 2016 dreams are in tatters. Who in their right mind would put themselves through the pain and effort of training and the emotion of race day. Well this morning I had a battle of a different kind. As I stood on our scales and waited for the news to be beamed to the console (Yes I even have gadget scales) I couldn’t quite read the numbers. Now my pants were telling me things were not on the good side (or size) and I couldn’t figure out what was on the console. It looked like some letters instead of numbers. On peering a bit closer I could see a message scrolling across the screen. “One at a time you piearse” (It’s s posh gadget and doesn’t use the phrase fat bastard) I rubbed my eyes and the mirage had gone. Only numbers remained. Numbers only normally obtained post christmas and this was only October. I had to do something about this so I started a training regime that could possibly lead to a marathon but deffo a half marathon of which I have now done 4.
So day one Monday October 26th and a rest day. This is my type of training regime. Day 2 sadly was not a rest day and a 4 mile “Fartlek” training run. As the weather gods would only have it, it was indeed pissing down this evening after work but out I went and completed the 4 miles. Then as I went for a shower the revelation from St John the patron saint of piearses appeared as a bright light emanating from my scales console. The truth dawned on me. If I have no goal I am a piearse. If I have a goal and I am very good unless Liverpool nearly win the league and its safe to say that this won’t be a distraction in 2016. So I have only gone and done it and signed up for the Greater Manchester Marathon 2016. What Manchester I hear you say why not Liverpool. Well (A) Manchester is a lot flatter and (B) there is no mind numbing 5 mile plus slog home along Otterspool prom (C) I am too old for all that Liverpool vs Manchester bollocks. Never will Old Trafford be such a lovely sight as I finish the Greater Manchester Marathon 2016. I know what is ahead of me training wise and it will be harder in some sense as last time it was all about firsts every time I ran further. This time nothing new or unknown. All that awaits are blisters and days written off after the long run for the week. The goal as ever is to finish but deep down I need to break that 5 hour barrier which I should of done last time but for some slackness in the final few weeks. This time from very early Jan it will be one session on the booze for when I go to Stuttgart in February 2016 otherwise its a strict no grog unit after the race. This time I have to do it properly and lose a bit more weight than last time as well. Don’t worry I won’t be haggling for any charity money this time after raising £638.96 for Christies hospital last time. This time it is purely for me and when I cross that finish line I can say to my late dad “See I told you I could do a marathon properly” and the Manchester marathon defeats the piearse. Don’t worry with Glastonbury and a summer holiday piearse will soon be back. As Peter Alliss once said to Sam Torrance who had lost a lot of weight “Have you got any dieting tips Sam” to which Torrance replied “Always keep your fat clothes” never a truer word said.
In other news today Mrs Fay was made permanent in her job with the home office and immigration. So big thanks to Tony Blair who without his lying about intelligence which then caused us to attack Iraq and then make the whole area unstable kicking off a refugee crisis which is still growing today Mrs Fay wouldn’t have a job. Whilst I am at it thanks to the bankers who caused the economic crash which meant times of austerity and local councils cutting back on staff together with Iain Duncan Smith’s terrible Universal Credit idea meaning my services are very much in demand. Every cloud has a silver lining eh and speaking of which thanks to the house of Lords for jibbing the Tax Credits cuts for now. Sadly every generation must learn about the Tories and this one is no different but the penny is slowly dropping. On with the Corbyn revolution.
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