Midnight Ping Pong and Everton’s new number 11 Osborne.


So I don’t know if it is all the running I am doing (Successfully nailed a 13.5 mile run on Thursday, thats the easy half of a marathon) but I have been having some weird dreams recently. Perhaps it is because I have cut down on the diet coke after finally admitting it is not working and actually having some deep sleep instead of caffeine fuelled naps ! Anyway the other night I had a dream but unlike most that drift off into the clouds that the sheep are in I woke up in the morning and remembered a lot of this one. There was a company that had shut a building down as part of an austerity drive and several people were made redundant with no pay offs. This had pissed me off so I decided to go around local businesses and try and get some things free to help these people in their hour of need. Anyway it worked and the people were made up. Word spread around and as more people lost their jobs I looked out over the city and it was like a trail of ants all heading to my “food bank” Anyway to cut a long dream short Everton’s new number 11 Gideon Osborne was pretty pissed off and decided enough was enough and that I was spoiling his fun watching people struggle. So he personally wanted me dead and would do the job himself. So after what seemed like a Blues Brothers style car chase he finally cornered me and just as he was about to drown me in a large tank of something I woke up !! So here I am the saviour of the common man ha ha. Maybe joining the Labour Party and backing Jeremy Corbyn has gone to my head. Perhaps its because I have cured myself from watching the shite that is BBC Question time my anger which was taken out muttering at the television every Thursday night is not getting out and the release is crazy political dreams. Or maybe I just need to get out more ?

George Osborn Everton's new number 11

On Saturday night I caught a bit of ping pong on Sky Sports five. They were taking it pretty seriously whoever was playing but I left it at that. Fast forward to Sunday evening and I again caught the same channel and it was the quarter finals of the world championship of ping pong. The very excitable Gavin Rumgay of Scotland got knocked out. Not only did he have that surname to put up with (And I thought the Gay Fay taunts of the 1980’s were bad) he was your stereotypical scotsman being small with ginger hair though I don’t think he was pissed. So the next match and this seemed to be ping pong with the jazz of other sporting events. A quick google and indeed Barry Hearn has his hands all over it hence the flashing lights, walk on girls etc. Now what is the difference between table tennis and ping pong ?

The main differences are ;

  • All players used the same sandpaper bats which they are given at the start of the match.
  • Standard table tennis rules apply.
  • Except, players can use a double point ball once a match. If they win the point with the ball they score an extra point.

Next up was a fella called Christopher Doran who shall we put it politely was about the size of me and possibly bigger. Didn’t matter how big he was as he was a very good ping pong player but despite going one set up he lost 2-1. So hope for us fatty’s yet to make a quarter final of a world championships (Darts and Sumo apart) So the advertised finish was 10:30 so I thought I would watch the climax of the world championship as it was very entertaining and I was having a quiet beer seeing out the last of the weekend. To cut a long Ping Pong story short it was just before midnight when Andrew Baggaley retained his world championship beating three times champion the Russian Maxim Shmyrev and my quiet beer had turned into a bit of a session. During the final I spotted one fan asleep though after the nail biting fourth set the noise woke him up and he must have realised it was late and he legged it out of the arena. So the final was a match worthy of the event (Scores below) and I am now a converted Ping Pong fan. Jib yer table tennis with your machine like Chinese dominating this was ping pong for the masses. Remember where you heard it first.

World Championship Ping Pong fan asleep

World Championship Ping Pong result 2016

One final thing, Cecil Parkinson died today. You can make your own mind up if he was a cunt. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/conservative/12120477/The-only-promise-Cecil-Parkinson-ever-kept-never-to-see-his-daughter.html

Peace

Fay x x x x x x x

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