Glad to see that France has suspended their “Burkini” ban. I was just about to head down there and modify my now infamous bright red Speedo’s (See previous blog) I couldn’t give a flying fuck what you wear on the beach. Speedo’s to Burkini, Burkdo’s to Speedini’s. It was a sad and scary development but hopefully its the end of such nonsense or beware France I will be on my way tooled up with my newly designed Speedini and people will be once again banging the French flag onto their Facebook profiles and praying for France ! Anyway whilst in Portugal and the daily Speedo hour I thought I would treat the in-laws to a special calendar for their 43rd wedding anniversary (Many congratulations) and so Mrs Fay took several picture of me in various poses with the bright red Speedo’s. Funny enough just 12 which then made perfect sense to announce the official Faymondo Speedo calendar 2016/2017. So I painstakingly created the 12 month thing of beauty and I can confirm that unlike many models I don’t feel the need for airbrushing though it was tempting to thin my love handles and bang some more blonde hair on my barnet (Blonde hair now sadly gone and back to a baldy skinhead) It was fingers crossed that Apple would print the thing due to the amount of flesh on show. So this limited edition calendar has already sold out of its initial run (1) and the surprise arrived at the in-laws house the other day. As it was addressed to me (Doh) they didn’t open it but Mrs Fay was in on the secret and said to open it. Mrs Runacus frowned as the front cover was a strictly to be deleted picture of the mother and father in law fast asleep on their respective sunbeds. But once she turned the page to see what picture was going to adorn September thinking what other dodgy pictures of me has that bastard Fay got the frown turned to a smile as the realisation dawned on her that there were going to be 12 excellently posed speedo shots. Not many people get such treats on their 43rd wedding anniversary.
Its been a week for looking back this week. First up the final ever GCSE results. 26 years ago age 16 I got 1 B 5 C’s and 3 D’s in my GCSE’s. It was few years later I found E’s !! Funny enough listening to an old City FM Acid Hour tape from 1990 that I converted whilst typing this blog. Not so long ago so it seems but almost half the difference of the 26 year GCSE results 12 years ago to the near very minute I was about to go and buy my Creamfields ticket on my lunch break. Never made it as I got a call from the hozzy. Next day Elizabeth was born 5 weeks early and that put an end to any more Creamfields. Tomorrow I have ice skating lined up and a family BBQ on Sunday. How the mighty have fallen, though I am nearly 43 now ! This week another drunken eBay vinyl purchase and Deap Heat 1990 a double album of 1990 “dance” classics (Classic used loosely) So this afternoon if you could hear “Doin the doo” by Betty Boo echoing around the enogs of Aigburth. Guilty as charged.
So if by popular demand there is a second print of the Official Faymondo Speedo Calendar 2016/2017 please email Speedosmyarse@faymondo.co.uk or contact me on 0898 111 Speedo. Or you can bang me £20 and I will send you one via Apple. Its an ideal chrimbo prezzie and you can select which month you want it to start. Personally I would put it on the fridge for those weak moments when you want to get some grog or munchies and see what you will turn into and you will think nah I am now put off that snack and need some water to get that sickly taste out of your mouth. If sales go well I might do a more risqué over 18 version !!!!!
Anyway as if me bending seductively over a pool table wasn’t enough I will leave you with February 2017 and my Baywatch pose.
Edit just noticed this is my 500th blog and no better way to celebrate with some official merchandise !
Fay x x x x x x x x