F*** me I’m 43


43rd birthday cake

Around 11am on the 18th September 1973 at Mill Road hospital ickle me was delivered by caesarian section. Fast forward 43 years and the only thing that requires a caesarian section are my jeans when I bang them on. That said I am proud to announce that as another year is added on to my age the waistline has settled down for a few years at 38 (You fat bastard) so birthday races into a five point lead ! So like a trooper I am still fighting off the effects of some manflu and I had what is now classed as a lie in until 8.30am. Soon my bedroom was filled with my three daughters and latterly followed on my my two sons (Dogs Benny & Zuma) I must admit I didn’t do too bad for prezzies with some nice vinyl from Rodriguez and Daft Punk. The customary chocolates and socks followed and the vent was finished off with a Star Wars character and some nice red and white Adidas Trabs.

I normally go on a traditional 10k birthday run to prove I have still got it and am actually fitter than I was when I was 30 but due to my illness I decided to swerve it but did take the dogs out separately for a combined total of around 10k so that was better than nothing. An early afternoon present and a comical defeat of Manchester United was a bonus. Many thanks for all the birthday well wishes across the multitude of social networking sites I whore myself out on. One of my friends even sent me a card, must know I love retro/Old skool. Still bemuses me that a member from my fave band Henry Priestman of The Christians wishes me a happy birthday on Facebook. If you had told a 13 year old me that this pop star on the front of this seven inch single I own will be sending me a birthday wish when I am 43 then I would have most probably gone “yeahhhhh like dat will ever appen” in a grumpy voice and then moodily go upstairs and lie on my bed. Fast forward 30 years and the only thing different is that the hormones have gone but the rest of the story could hold true.

43rd Birthday swag

So it was a lovely sunny day and I managed to drag the kids out for a walk around the festival gardens and make Mrs Fay feel very unfit as I gave her some hill and step challenges ha ha. Not put off by this it was time for a Pizza Park tea and some birthday cake though sadly M&S did not have Colin The Caterpillar cakes but instead Connie The Caterpillar with the message “She is what she eats” Well she must have been eating a lot of strawberry flavoured semen with her strawberry middle. Have to be honest and say I much prefer the full on chocolatey taste of Colin The Caterpillar and if he is what he eats then………………….

This got me thinking about desserts and a birthday treat when I were a lad would be a Vienetta or a few years later when I was a bit more grown up and my old man had got a better job some Gino Ginelli (Advert Below and was it really 1994 ?? ) Either papa had been doing some overtime (Or had a secret win on the horses) for these beauties to be served up on the family table. Normally it would be a 50p Artic Roll and some Jam Tarts which come to think of it would do me for desserts now (44th birthday desserts sorted)

Sadly each birthday blog forever has a large shadow cast over it as on the 19th September 2012 my dad passed away (Blog here) which I always re-read as I think words written at the time will hit the nail on the head. I have said this many times that nothing prepares you for losing your second parent. It launches you into a new phase of your life and the enormity of the event still gets you years later but time does ease things but now I am head of the Fay family and therefore king provider of such luxury desserts like Gino Ginelli, though its more Ben & Jerry these days. I will have a Desperados in your memory tonight dad with a wry smile on my face as you would tell me ” What are you drinking that flavoured maidens water for” and “Why don’t you get a glass the rats have been pissing all over that bottle” I never did get to talk about the truth that was delivered about Hillsborough and another one of your wiser moments you also mention to me was about the miners of Orgreave and the fight for truth still goes on for that. What would you have made of Corbyn and “Brexit” and yes I am still waiting for Liverpool to win the league. Thats yer lot and a happy birthday to fellow 18th September bods John Aldridge, Peter Shilton, Derek Pringle and Russ Abbot.


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EDIT *** Just been hand delivered a second birthday card. Apologies but my first thought was “Who the fuck is knocking at the door now” Sorry Helen ha ha these dark nights make it feel about 10pm ;0)


Deep Heat 1990 vs Deep Heat 2016

So a whopping 26 years ago and Deep Heat to me was a various artists compilation series that was launched in March 1989 with the Number 1 album Deep Heat, the brand achieved a successful four-year run and set the footprint for dance music compilations for many years to come. I have just recently purchased the double vinyl Deep Heat 1990 which is a collection of some of the most memorable tracks from 1990 for me (Soup Dragons, KLF, The Family Stand, Chad Jackson, Blue Pearl and FPI Project) it also has a few unmemorable tacks on FAB Feat MC Number 6 and Hi Tek 3 Feat Ya Kid K. Its not far off the soundtrack to the best year of my life. Deep Heat will also have a special place in my heart taking me back to the halcyon year of 1990 when I did not have a care in the fucking world.

So a whopping 3 days ago and it was time for Deep Heat 2016. No not a new collection of this years massive EDM choons, Electronic Dance Music if you ask, no I don’t know why either. But I woke up with what can only be described as a twat of a bad back out of nowhere. I managed to drag myself into work (No work no pay mingebag now) and out come Deep Heat 2016. This time it was the Deep heat spray which is a pain relieving, warming, spray to be used on the skin and in my case on me newly destroyed “Cadburys Snack” No disguising the smell of this as the spray is absorbed, your body’s natural enzymes turn its special blend of ingredients into a powerful painkiller. Well I was hoping so and added to my new found disability I now smelt like an amateur football changing room. Having never suffered from a bad back, well apart from the time when I fractured my spine in a car crash this was a worrying development. Everything you do virtually involves your back and as would would have it an early morning bout of sneezing confirmed this. It was just after I put the spray on I had my Alanis Morrisette isn’t it fucking ironic moment as I was listening to Deep Heat 1990 remembering the days of hair a 32″ waist and living with my mum and dad then suddenly remembering I am nearing 43 and my back has gone. Just 5 months ago I was a marathon running athlete and here I am on the scrap heap. As the day went on surprisingly my back eased and I had no pain by mid afternoon. So yep I decided to play footy (Don’t want to lose my place) and whilst it took me a bit to get going I played OK and it was only Thursday morning when the revenge of the back occurred and I needed another Deep Heat festival (No not like this weekends reminisce festival) but pain relieving, warming, spray. Couldn’t give a shit what I smelt like I needed my Deep Heat fix. After consulting my personal Doctor (The internet) I ended up with what every internet self diagnosis end up being and it was obvious that I had some kind of spinal cancer (I can crack cancer gags due to the amount of cancer experiences I have dealt with via family) I think I might swerve the Prince and Jacko painkillers in favour of a few Desperdos though. Each morning my back is easing a touch and whilst I have had to knock any planned jogs on the head I have still been going for walks so at least I am getting some exercise.

Deep Heat 1990 vs Deep Heat 2016

Been a whilst since I went to a gig and Liverpool’s Louis Berry was playing last weekends Fusion Festival in Liverpool.  Whilst I could have got cheap resident tickets there was no way I was gong to that festival as my daughter would have not let me leave the main stage to catch Louis Berry on the smaller stage. There is a gig of his in Liverpool on Oct 31st and I am frantically trying to get out of any Halloween parties Mrs Fay has lined up to catch Louis. Anyway he has a new single out “Restless” but below is the video for “Nicole” I always like to champion artists from Liverpool a habit started way back in 1987 with The Christians and Black and still going strong nearly 30 years later eeeek !! Do check out the work of Louis Berry. You can thank me later.

I am off for some more Deep Heat 2016 style.


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Craig David on da streets of Aigburth

So Saturday evening and as we had our kids cousins staying over noise levels were high in the Fay household. The sun was popping out so I decided to take a walk around the streets of Aigburth (A) To get some tea from Tezzies and (B) Have a nose at the crash by the cricket club. So having pissed down all day it was a beautiful end to an early autumn day. The crash indeed looked like it had been a bad one and there were still some sausage rolls in Tesco’s so both objectives (A) and (B) had been achieved. A random musing whilst plodding the leafy suburbs was that Barry owns a lot of skips ! On taking a short cut home through the IM Marsh I spotted a bird type I had never seen before. It looked like a Peregrine Falcon though it was a bit plastic looking and as the sun popped out from behind a cloud looking down to the River Mersey I was blinded by the light and the bird had flown off. Next I could hear a loud cheer from the direction of the blinding sunlight and next the beats and silky voice of Craig David was getting louder. The streets of Aigburth were being filled with the R&B, garage and hip hop sound of Craig David. How the pensioners of Aigburth must have been collectively shutting their windows. The bird I had seen fly off in the direction of Otterspool Prom must have been Kes and the “Proper Bo” sounds were none other than Craig David and his TS5 (Is that a droid ?) anyway not many more gags I can rinse from a 2002 comedy show and Craig David echoing around da streets of Aigburth whilst walking home with a plazzy bag with sausage rolls in isn’t an everyday occurrence in my life so just thought I would mention it.

Craig David Bo Selecta

Its been birthday madness in the last week with my two eldest daughters birthdays and Elizabeth turning 12  (going on 15) and Charlotte turning 9 (going on 12) and stuck in the middle of it was a BBQ last Sunday which ended up being a 12 hour session and I can just about remember swaying home about 3am after a whopper game of guess the TV theme tune of which I am sure the in laws neighbours weren’t too impressed with at 2am in the morning. Bank Holiday Monday was a write off as I was more knackered than hungover (honest) It must have been a big session as I have only just felt like having a bevy again tonight. Anyways the infamous Speedo calendar was doing the rounds at the party and there might be enough demand for a second run. I will keep you posted and if you missed the blog its HERE

Well my blonde locks (or lack off) have bitten the dust and taken off with my trusty 24 year sold Wahl clippers. I have paid for about 2 haircuts in the last 10 years but this week both my dogs needed a haircut and so went the groomers. Fuck me theres £30 I wont see again. Now my hair is falling out I save a few bob with my clippers but now have two dogs with their own haircut bill !

So 19 years since we lost Princess Diana and the great Twitter account @Classic_picx posted a nice picture in memory of our own queen of hearts  pictured here with butler Paul Burrell, 1989.

Diana and Paul Burrell,

Well worth a follow that account and always has me laughing, its what Twitter was made for.


Fay x x x x x x x x

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