F*** me I’m 43


43rd birthday cake

Around 11am on the 18th September 1973 at Mill Road hospital ickle me was delivered by caesarian section. Fast forward 43 years and the only thing that requires a caesarian section are my jeans when I bang them on. That said I am proud to announce that as another year is added on to my age the waistline has settled down for a few years at 38 (You fat bastard) so birthday races into a five point lead ! So like a trooper I am still fighting off the effects of some manflu and I had what is now classed as a lie in until 8.30am. Soon my bedroom was filled with my three daughters and latterly followed on my my two sons (Dogs Benny & Zuma) I must admit I didn’t do too bad for prezzies with some nice vinyl from Rodriguez and Daft Punk. The customary chocolates and socks followed and the vent was finished off with a Star Wars character and some nice red and white Adidas Trabs.

I normally go on a traditional 10k birthday run to prove I have still got it and am actually fitter than I was when I was 30 but due to my illness I decided to swerve it but did take the dogs out separately for a combined total of around 10k so that was better than nothing. An early afternoon present and a comical defeat of Manchester United was a bonus. Many thanks for all the birthday well wishes across the multitude of social networking sites I whore myself out on. One of my friends even sent me a card, must know I love retro/Old skool. Still bemuses me that a member from my fave band Henry Priestman of The Christians wishes me a happy birthday on Facebook. If you had told a 13 year old me that this pop star on the front of this seven inch single I own will be sending me a birthday wish when I am 43 then I would have most probably gone “yeahhhhh like dat will ever appen” in a grumpy voice and then moodily go upstairs and lie on my bed. Fast forward 30 years and the only thing different is that the hormones have gone but the rest of the story could hold true.

43rd Birthday swag

So it was a lovely sunny day and I managed to drag the kids out for a walk around the festival gardens and make Mrs Fay feel very unfit as I gave her some hill and step challenges ha ha. Not put off by this it was time for a Pizza Park tea and some birthday cake though sadly M&S did not have Colin The Caterpillar cakes but instead Connie The Caterpillar with the message “She is what she eats” Well she must have been eating a lot of strawberry flavoured semen with her strawberry middle. Have to be honest and say I much prefer the full on chocolatey taste of Colin The Caterpillar and if he is what he eats then………………….

This got me thinking about desserts and a birthday treat when I were a lad would be a Vienetta or a few years later when I was a bit more grown up and my old man had got a better job some Gino Ginelli (Advert Below and was it really 1994 ?? ) Either papa had been doing some overtime (Or had a secret win on the horses) for these beauties to be served up on the family table. Normally it would be a 50p Artic Roll and some Jam Tarts which come to think of it would do me for desserts now (44th birthday desserts sorted)

Sadly each birthday blog forever has a large shadow cast over it as on the 19th September 2012 my dad passed away (Blog here) which I always re-read as I think words written at the time will hit the nail on the head. I have said this many times that nothing prepares you for losing your second parent. It launches you into a new phase of your life and the enormity of the event still gets you years later but time does ease things but now I am head of the Fay family and therefore king provider of such luxury desserts like Gino Ginelli, though its more Ben & Jerry these days. I will have a Desperados in your memory tonight dad with a wry smile on my face as you would tell me ” What are you drinking that flavoured maidens water for” and “Why don’t you get a glass the rats have been pissing all over that bottle” I never did get to talk about the truth that was delivered about Hillsborough and another one of your wiser moments you also mention to me was about the miners of Orgreave and the fight for truth still goes on for that. What would you have made of Corbyn and “Brexit” and yes I am still waiting for Liverpool to win the league. Thats yer lot and a happy birthday to fellow 18th September bods John Aldridge, Peter Shilton, Derek Pringle and Russ Abbot.


Fay x x x x x x x x

EDIT *** Just been hand delivered a second birthday card. Apologies but my first thought was “Who the fuck is knocking at the door now” Sorry Helen ha ha these dark nights make it feel about 10pm ;0)


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