The Magic Money Tree and Pie Arse PT


So first up a quick review of last weekend and after doing the Liverpool Rock’n’Roll 5k on Saturday it was the test of the Liverpool Rock’N’Roll half marathon for Mrs Fay with her personal fitness instructor. Now in her dream he would be a part time fireman with a six pack and an allover tan with a smooth chest dripping in post race sweat which made his running vest cling tightly to his toned body ready to rip off at a moments notice as he fondled her “medals” In reality it was a six foot three beer bellied monster with a slight tan. It is only early June and my feet are white as of course I never take my socks off for any training activities or indeed any other activities for that matter. As for the vest well it was a bright green baggy XXL Adidas running top though there was lots of sweat and the only medals I will having a fondle with are the 4 I earned last weekend. Anyway my new title of Mr Motivator got Mrs Fay around the half marathon on 2 hours 23 which was a mighty good effort from the other half. She is the latest in a long line of my now thriving personal fitness instructor business following on from taking the sister in law around two half marathons, my mate around a 10k with no training and my biggest achievement yet taking a mate who I play footy with around the 5k on Saturday after 10 ciders the night before and suffering from gout. So fuck Mr Motivator from the 80’s or The Green Goddess I now announce “Pie Arse PT’ yes your seventeen stone plus personal trainer with a fondness of the finer tequila beers out there and a penchant for sausage rolls will guarantee that he will get you around any race from 5k to half marathon. Pie Arse PT founded in 2017 guarantees success. Dave from Liverpool said ” I was fucking bladdered on the Friday and my big toe was stinging from gout but Pie Arse PT got me around a 5k the next day in a time I was very pleased with. I just down know how he does it”  Claire from Liverpool said “Wow my first half marathon was a piece of piss and I wish I could marry Pie Arse PT, Oh hang on a minute I am married to him what a hunk chunk” So if you want results to be proud of text “PIE” to 85967 and become the next project for Pie Arse PT because if Pie Arse PT didn’t run he would soon be Eric Pickles.

For those of you thinking what the fuck that picture is read this 

Big up to Emma (Sister in law) who with the help of Pie Arse PT (*Only half marathons must be fucking daft to do a full one ) went on to complete the full Liverpool marathon. Something I know about and the hard work and pain it takes to do the training for a full marathon and complete the race deserves a medal oh and a t-shirt. I jest of course its very very hard.

So Friday and I had ducked all the TV debates etc for my own sanity but I found myself just coming in from walking the dogs to the big one starting. So OK not a head to head but a chance to hear “Strong and Stable” and “For the many not the few” for a few more times and making me a bit more unstable. Now in the interests of remaining impartial and the fact that all media outlets have strict rules to play by I will review the question session openly and fairly.

First up was Darth May from The Managed Decline Party The Conservative Party who was to put it nicely shaking like a shitting dog for large parts of the time she was on stage. First question up should have been from Tarquin of Henley “Prime Minister where have you been for the last 5 weeks” It is sadly all predictable the way things will go but its quite clear that Darth May is on the edge of something and it might be victory but it also looks like a breakdown.

Second up was Obi Wan Corbyn a man so deranged that he actually does not want to press a button that will mean the slaughter of millions of innocent people (Remember what Darth May done to the people of Alderaan) again its all too predictable the way things go with these things as he gets slaughtered for hanging around for people who were letting off bombs but then gets a telling off for not wanting to drop big fuck off world bombs ?

Under a week now until election night and this here blog with have the privilege of live blogging its third election 2010 HERE  2015 HERE  and let me say this here and now. If the Tories win this election thats me off the news and current affairs grid. It might make this blog slightly less exiting and deffo less biased but if the country goes this way you can fucking reap what you sow. I might have about 30 years left on this planet and it will be bubble Fay from the 10th of June. Why not Friday 9th June you ask. Well for one last day that I have booked off work I will lie in my own tears and puddles of piss unable to move through fear of what the next five (plus) years have in store. I will then get very drunk and wake up on the 10th of June in the republic of Faymondo. Its most probably where “They” want me to be but “its like that and its the way it is”

*Disclaimer if Darth May only increases her majority by a few seats and there is still hope come June 9th I might still be on board for a Britain for the many not the few. What did I just say ? Fucking slogans. Tell Sid about fucking slogans.

Well as for the rest of the weekend I am off to find the magic money tree. My mum used to ask if we had one down the bottom of the garden. We didn’t it was called the bank of dad. The bank of dad would be right behind the ethics of for the many not the few but wincing at the actually slogan. Come Friday I think he might be better off where he is and thats in an urn of ashes buried in my sisters garden !!

Peace

Fay x x x x x x x x

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