So awake for 4am for the struggle to the airport and the cab ordered was 10 mins late. I am a stickler for time and try my best not to get worked up with pre travel stress but everything else went to plan apart from a 10 min wait on the runway and before you know it you get off the plane and you get hit by the heat and go wow were on holiday and its hot. Sadly with the stairs on the plane going straight into the airport we missed out on this treat. A bit f a heatwave hitting Spain at present and temperatures edging up into the high 30’s in Majorca and only marginally cooler in our resort of Alcudia. Go the coach dropped us off at out apartments (Seaclub) and a small wait for the room to get ready so might as well have a beer by the pool and use of my Spanish language “Dos Bier por vavor” The room was soon ready and the entire family were soon in the pool to cool of from the blistering Spanish sun. Holly was just looking out of the coach window on the way to the apartments and I remember that feeling of wow a few hours ago I was getting dragged out of my bed in a cold England and here I am in the warm Spanish climate looking out out the baron landscape just a few hours later. Quite bemusing for a young one. The moobs were out and the freshly de-haired back of mine (Its normally like something from a missing link beast) was on show and I was soon getting bettered for a large lilo bill from my three kids. Just a quiet evening after a siesta and a meal (served very slowly) and a beer back at the hotel means I didn’t even make it to a boozer on day one. It was that hot we all went for a midnight swim and then a few more drinks on the balcony and it was time to get our head down in out air conditioned room. I say air-conditioned more like slightly cooled room and I resigned myself to a seven day Betty Swollocks festival in bed !!
So Friday morning and my first morning walk
to get away from the wife and three kids for an hour to do a rekky on the resort and the way I went I didn’t find much. On coming back into out complex the sloths that were all inclusive had managed to drag themselves away from their feasts and do some holiday water aerobics. This was just a mirage of an assorted wobbly bits in varying stages of colour from stark white, through to brown with a lot on red/pink in-between. Many other people I know on holiday at the moment and one person posted a picture of their teenage son who has lost the ability to smile now he is 13 years old. Glued to his hand was his iPhone. A sad reflection on kids today (Mine included) so I posted a comment below the Facebook picture about this with the irony I was actually on the free wifi in my apartment posting on my MacBook. I too am just a bad a slave to technology though my excuse was I needed to get out of the sun for a bit and don’t have my phone welded to my arm. More pool fun with the kids and playing about on our jarg go pro (Yes more technology) and will post a few pics/videos at the end of this blog. After a siesta we headed out for the evening about 8:30 and the kids continued this chicken nugget festival and in good old holiday pub style played a game of family fortunes as we eat our food. The kids were tired this evening as they hadn’t had a siesta and this showed as the little bastards they were narky and middle sprog having a particular explosion of bad behaviour which was eventually calmed down after The United Nations had been called in to settle things down. The evening was wound down with a few bevies on the balcony and the two youngest finally went to sleep and the eldest stayed up with us finding it amusing that earlier in the day I had come in for a Jamon Ruffles crisp butty and when I went to walk to the pool found an extra Ruffle in my chest hair that I then eat !
Another post 9am lie in and then a lovely walk down to the small harbour set me up for the day. Starting to get bored in the day now as the heat is relentless so been going out with individual children to the arcade and get an ice cream (And that was just my treat) After last nights misbehaviour due to tiredness it was siesta time for team Fay and all five of us were asleep at one point. This meant the evening was much better and Elizabeth was made up as we found somewhere to eat with decent wifi so she could download episodes of something se watches to her phone. We actually ended up having a few drinks this evening and the kids kept themselves amused in the arcades. At one point I was watching Sky Sports but it had two young man playing FIFA Football 2017. Whats that all about ? Even sadder I was actually watching it !! On the way home we went to a bar with a parrot outside which was keeping us amused and no we are not getting one kids. The evening was rounded off with the traditional balcony drinks and the eldest Elizabeth (Nearly 13) joined us with a Koppaberg. Though just the one as she has plenty of time on her hands to join an episode of Boozed up Brits abroad.
Just a smaller walk in the morning today after another post 9am lie in (I could get used to these) The good news is that the heat was down a notch to bloody roasting levels. To relieve the boredom today I went on an adventure with the little one to all 6 pools in the complex. Afternoon entertainment was a game of Mario Kart on the Nintendo Switch and then I bailed out to the pub on my own to watch the second half of the Charity Shield. Me and Mrs Fay then had a few drinks in the early evening sun around the pool as the kids have made friends and we popped over the road and brought some food in for the kids. We were thinking of going all inclusive for the last few days but decided against it as the kids haven’t been hassling us for that much in the way of drinks and also to get our moneys worth I would end up on the ale at 9am and possibly end up on Boozed up Brits abroad myself and I wanted to save that for my second trip to Spain (Ibiza) on Friday. So we ended up with some “cloud heads” playing bingo at 5 Euro’s a pop but never got close to winning. The star prize in the second game was a tidy 130 Euros. The normal arcade & ice cream/crepes was part of the evening and the kids were in bed handy as no siesta and just me and Mrs Fay sat on the balcony tonight so I didn’t have to share my Koppaberg.
Pool, scran and beers. Becoming a bit repetitive this. 7 days is deffo my limit as I am not the type of person who can just sit in the sun for endless hours. Keeping myself amused by taking the kids individually around the “Six swimming pool challenge” Has the daily event of the suncream woman coming around trying to sell some expensive shit. I have only just started banging some factor 30 on my balding bonce. A bit of a change this evening and we had a nice walk along the beach down to the main centre of Alcudia and a lovely meal followed by the kids going on some rides and a long slow walk back up to the apartments as the taxi queue was crazy. Familiar story again and late night drinks on the balcony but mixed things up with a milk chocolate Lion bar tonight.
Tuesday was designated beach day. I say day but it was really an hour max as sand gets everywhere and despite the odd cloud it was still bloody hot. Having got back to the pool the sun decided to do one around 4pm so it was time to hit the grog as it would be our last night party as we are up at 6am on Thursday to get the bus to the airport. The sad task of packing away started remembering to leave enough space to smuggle as many packs of Jamon Ruffles home that is humanly possible. in other news a foot long sausage roll has been announced for just £1 and it was amazing how many people over various social media platforms tagged me with this. I truly an the sausage roll king. So we ended up having a fair few drinks. The youngest Holly was riding her luck winning teddies from those grab machines. Again late night drinks on the balcony after we had one last stop at a Scottish Pub (Och ayeeeee)
The final push and the big question when awaking was has that bloody cloud gone. Well the grey blanket that developed yesterday has gone but there are some fluffy white clouds about but they give you a nice break from the sun so time to supertan the moons today. One final morning walk and the longest at 4 miles. No more post 9am lies in as its 6am tomorrow for a flight home and about 3.30am Friday for a flight back out to Ibiza (Could have done the 100 miles on a lilo) and no doubt a magical if slightly censored blog of the tales of a crazy stag weekend in Ibiza. Eeeking put every last bit of sun it was tome to head out for a final meal. Normally chosen for best food but this year chosen for best wifi. We live in modern times. A final few beers and an early night as up for 5.30am. The kids had one last late night swim and me and missus Fay had one last drink on the balcony.
So the long slog home went without a hitch and back home for just after 1.30pm. Both out dogs were very exited to see us and planet reality hit as i was soon picking dog shit up on Sudley Field. A lovely holiday with the family and lots of memories made. Cant wait for my own bed and a nice lie in to recover from todays effort of getting home. Oh hang on 3.30am alarm clock and Ibiza. All to be told in the next blog as and when I have recovered from that.