Emoji’s and Ketwig Of The Year

So local elections this week and I had a bit of spare time on my hand and thought I better put my money were my mouth was and instead of sounding off on Twitter actually do something. So I volunteered to deliver some leaflets for Labour in the Liverpool ward of St Michaels and ended up having a nice walk off the streets of Lark Lane. Now I do love a good election and election coverage so lied down on my bed to watch the Arsenal game and fell asleep by 8.20pm. All this running must be catching up on me and two weeks tomorrow will be the last bastard 3rd marathon of my trilogy. Staying with politics an also trilogies (The links are seamless here you know) and it was May the 4th yesterday AKA Star Wars day for those people with a speech impediment. Gary Barlow proudly posted a picture of himself when he played a rebel x-wng fighter. Barlow a well known Tory tax dodger was obviously testing my jedi training. Having lost over two stone since January I had to give up the Jabba The Hutt role and seeing this picture was bringing out the dark side in me. All I could think abut was Darth May and fearing what will happen if she stays in power. As well all know “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads to suffering” and boy have we suffered !

Having missed the live election coverage on Sky News I caught up with it all the next morning and there were no major headlines to report. In fact the only thing to report was the reporting. Sky had invested big in their on screen graphics and decided to use emoji’s. I mean what the actual fuck. Are people incapable of reading numbers now for results ? I wonder if there was the same fuss made by my dad when the old “Swingometer” was brought in years ago ? Anyway I hope Sky News keep there emoji’s for their Royal Wedding coverage and have an angry face and a few poo emoji’s on the go.


Certain adverts stick in your mind and I spent yesterday singing the chorus to a song. I need to start playing the postcode lottery so that when some Z list celeb knocks at my door to tell me I have won I can say “Claire were off to Ibiza” and then do a side foot jump in the air whilst holding an oversized cheque. “Someone knocking at the door, somebody ringing a bell, someone’s knocking at the door, somebody’s ringing the bell (Who is it ? A Lib Dem candidate) Do me a favour, open the door and tell them to do one”

In my best Trevor McDonald voice “And finally” Yesterday at Liverpool Crown Court Phil Spector’s grandson Joshua Byrne age 19 from Kirkby was jailed for smuggling drugs. Police had to book £2500 worth of overtime to conduct an extra search in Bryne’s hair. Byrne who had recently won the Ketwig of the year award for 2017 also had to give up a family of sparrows nesting in his hair. Can you just imagine being off yer head and phoning out for some extra gear at 5am on a Sunday morning and he turns up with that barnet. It would be enough for you to think you know what I am seeing strange hair on people I think its time to take it easy and “just say no” and go home. It’s been a cracking weekend Jim but I think I will take the money and let somebody else have a go.

My running season continues and today was The Liverpool Spring 5k been in the form of my life I was attacking a Personal Best and started like a pro about 4 deep from the start line. Anyway I got around in 23:20 gun time and a respectable 62nd out of 1202. Now I am classed as a veteran (Male age 40-44) I came 6th in my class out of 56. But I earned my first gold medal as when I collected my XL post race tshirt I asked the lady was I first to finish in the XL size and she said yes. Champion of the fatties. That will do me and the worst thing about it is that the XL still doesn’t fit me ha ha. Time for a post race beer and early night as I go for a sub 50min 10 tomorrow in The Liverpool Spring 10k.


Fay x x x x x x x x x


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