So a regular readers of this blog will know I am a fat bastard and fond of a sausage roll or 12 (Depending on the size) It seems a new bakery in Garston Village has opened. Now I am still grieving from the closure of Wilsons (Hardcore sausage roll fans know the score) but its amazing how many of my friends and indeed just followers over “The socials” (My god who would have thought that was a phrase when I were a lad ?) tagged me in the news that a new bakery in Garston Village has opened called Porkie Pies. Now for a start I don’t eat pies I mean what do you take me for some kind of BMI busting blob of lard ? But I do scoff sausage rolls. Now don’t get me wrong I have told a few Porkie Pies to Mrs Fay back in the day when I had lost weekends but the counter balance was that when I came in wrecked and left my jeans draped over the bannister and money on the hall window sill she would dip my money for an amount that reflected how twatted I was. AKA The Good
Night Weekend Out Tax. But anyway back to sausage rolls and I came in on Thursday night after seeing The Villagers (They were great) and a quick mention for Soul II Soul last Saturday (They were boss) and my mouth was salivating at the thought of a sausage roll from this shop. Mad thing is I have already mentioned in a previous blog how trendy sausage rolls have become with M&S young all kinds of funky flavours and the now traditional sausage roll garland which should really come with a pint of Gaviscon ! Anyway Mrs Fay was under strict instructions to go there on Friday and pick up some lunch whilst I ordered some jeans an extra 2inches size up from da internet.
So Friday morning and with my taste buds were into salivating overload and I had a tea towel tucked into the top of my neck to keep my t-shirt clean. I was in work and after a few ciders the night before was ready for some sausage roll hammer. Lucky enough Mrs Fay was off work so I was encouraging her to get down early to guarantee success in the sausage roll draw. She finally headed on down there at 11:45 to be told the heartbreaking news that all the sausage rolls had gone by 9.30. Whats all that about ! The Johnny come lately sausage roll bods will soon move on whereas you have my custom for life. Ahh well Porkie Pies will be reviewed another day.
In other non sausage roll news now wishing that I had wiped the tommy K from my beard and brushed the crumbs onto the floor much to the excitement of the dogs a classic scene from Boys From The Blackstuff was brought to my attention by a Twitter friend.
Wow the took me back to watching TV as a child with my late mum and dad. On the plus side the Albert Dock was not bulldozed. Only now looking back I realise how educated I was with this “Scully” “One Summer” which I watched years after missing the twist of the teacher (Kidder) being an innocent 9 year old but I remember watching the last episode of One Summer all sat in my nans living room which is now the knock through kitchen of the house we live in. Never forget the scene when Icky dies. We thought Icky was cool as a 9 year old. After that it was the likes of Auf Weidersehen Pet. That post made me realise that I watch no TV with my kids. This is partly due to the change in the dynamics of watching things on demand and on your own personal viewing platform and that any “family” TV consists of the kids watching reality shite with Mrs Fay. I often get a little bit down about my advancing years but then look back and think compared to my kids I had it all musically, drama wise and social media free wise though I did have a penpal from Germany who I soon fucked off as it was a lad and not a girl ! I honestly think my parents looked at me and thought “Lucky bastard” I look at my kids and modern life and think “Unlucky bastards”
For those of you were arsed to watch the clip “I can’t believe there’s no hope, can’t” words that sadly resonate today.
Fay x x x x x x x x x x