Virtual Reality wallops The Fay’s

Long time no blog. In short I have acquired a knee injury limiting exercise so I have hit the bottle and M&S munchies and all the hard work of the marathons etc earlier on in the year is slowly being ebbed away as the gap in my pants grows ever thinner as I get ever fatter. But I thought I better write a blog just to let you know I am still alive. So now every chrimbo I get myself a treat. Something that I wouldn’t normally spend dollar on and call it a present off my late mum and dad as they would have normally banged at least a ton my way. In the end last year I didn’t get around to buying myself something so this year I have double bubble to spend. With black Friday starting earlier each year (Before payday this year for many ?? ) I decided not to go the Asda on Smithdown and fight with the masses but the Playstation VR was at a decent price and with the excuse the whole family can play on it as well it was ordered and on Tuesday with the aid of modern technology I was tracking my parcel and it was 55 stops and counting. Anyway he turned up and Christmas had come early to Neil George Fay which is ironic as I hate chrimbo  !

So the bargain Playstation VR (PSVR) came with three free games which were Playstation Worlds, Astrobot and Resident Evil Biohazard. So eventually set up and it was middle sprog Charlotte who debuted in the world of virtual Reality by banging on the headset. Now it really does have to be seen to be believed and the VR experience exceeded what I was expecting from it. Anyway Charlotte was in a cage in the water and lowered down to the seabed coming across stingrays, luminous jellyfish and a whole host of sea creatures. Best up was last when on the bottom of the sea her cage was attacked by a shark causing a lot of hysteria not helped by me and the youngest touching the back of Charlottes legs for added effect. The younger kids had a go but couldn’t take much of the shark attack and had to take the headset off and no doubt will have recurring dreams about sharks for the rest of their lives. I think Jaws the film will be next weeks treat. And here is another treat my youngest looking like she is at an audition for Daft Punk.

Other games included the jaw dropping Astrobot which is a platform game like Mario except your in the middle of it. We got some extra purchases and a virtual reality cat called Konrad which Holly loves and like a VR Tamogotchi will have to tend to it every day and we finished with some Fruit Ninja VR a twist on the iPad/iphone game with VR swords that when playing you are fully immersed in slicing those fruits but to those watching you waving your arms frantically with the headset on making you look more like a 90’s clubber having the time of their lives on ecstasy. First session on the VR was rounded off with what can only be described as “Pong” VR. The basic tennis game from the first gaming experience I had back in the very early 80’s with a Binotone game system now fast forwarded 35 years and VR pong with you moving up and down and tilting you head left and right determined to beat the computer opponent.

Eventually on the second day of owning the VR I got to have proper go myself and put on Resident Evil Biohazard which is rated PEGI 18. Time for some VR Zombie action. To be honest in the hour I played it I didn’t get that far but did discover some pretty ugly things that made me pull away a bit and pull a funny face. So if you come around to ours you cant escape but to be offered a go on the PSVR and Charlotte’s mate who was staying over has just been terrified by the shark experience. I hope she sleeps tonight. Well I just need a decent golf VR game and thats me done for the winter.

So I would say the PSVR at the current price of £179 with 3 games is well worth getting. When I looked at it last year it was £229 for just the headset. The acid test is the big question of when will it be put back into the box and on top of a cupboard never to be seen again ? Certainly for now its flavour of the day and well worth a purchase.

Now you could not expect a review of the PSVR without the burning question of 50% of the population are thinking and can you get porn on it. The answer is yes and the method via a quick google is a bit cumbersome but could be ultimately worth it if thats what floats your boat. As for me well I am gonna swerve it (honest) The PSVR come with earphones to add 3D sound to the virtual reality experience. Can you imagine the shame of being totally immersed in cracking one off with yer jeans by your ankles and a handy size pack of Kleenex by your side not even noticing your wife coming in the house, standing for 10 minutes as you have your fun and then the orgasmic joy turning into agony and shame to last forever as you withdraw the headset from your head, squat down to pull yer jeans up, turn around and your missus is there with a look you have never seen before. As for the man caught in the act he just walks past his wife head bowed, straight out the front door and to the nearest divorce lawyer. Its a risk I cant take but Mrs Fay goes away every November with her mates. He who dares !!!

Peace

Fay x x x x x x x x x x

 

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