Brexit Party Postponed


So March 29th 2019 and 11pm. I was tempted to hire a venue, preferably an old warehouse type gaff and have a Brexit party. But a Brexit party with a difference. Both Brexiteers and Remainers would be welcome but all mention of Brexit would be banned. My mate who is a DJ would be spinning some boss retro choons and we get off our tits again like it was the early 90’s. Then just before 11pm the decks would spin to a halt and the 11 chimes of big ben would play out and on the 11th bong the screens would show some kind of weird Brexit soundbites montage for 1 minute then Fuck Brexit would come up and be repeated over the sound system and then the room would erupt into a mass of smoke, lasers and confetti cannons and a killer choon would be dropped. People dressed as Corbyn, May, Blair, Thatcher, Cameron and Farage would parade around on stilts dancing to the choon that had been dropped.  Now the big question is what would the choon be. To be honest I could pick a different choon every time I think about this but I am going with the one below as it builds to a crescendo and I look around and there are happy faces everywhere oblivious to the chaos that is about to happen in the outside world and as this track stops the people on stilts vanish and Brexit will be marked in a never to be forgotten way and “Rok Da House” by Taul Paul would be played and everything would be perfect.

Well that was the plan before this weeks shenanigans and now its buy one get one free as we have two possible dates for the Brexit Party. Maybot couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery and now we cant even have a decent party. Indeed the party might be delayed for even longer and then might not happen at all which would call for a bigger party. What a week but I don’t think I have ever felt so robbed of time that to sit glued to the TV for Maybot’s speech on Wednesday night. Jesus Christ I think I would rather watch an episode of X-Factor than watch the Maybot. The next speech I want to see of hers is her resigning and then to re-enact the famous leaving of 10 Downing Street Thatcher style with tears in her eye. The tears are of course solely for her just like Thatcher’s but that makes it the more sweeter to watch. I have called from day one that Brexit wont happen and I will stick to that prediction. Whilst I have got the crystal ball out I predict the following will happen.

There will be an election soon which Labour will narrowly win or form a coalition.

Corbyn will only serve one five year fixed parliament.

There will be a credit crunch 2 (Not as bad as the first one)

Things will go tits up again and Labour will get the blame for that just like Credit Crunch 1 and we will be back to tory rule by 2024/25.

What a time to be alive eh !

In other financial news I had the pleasure of having a rare Saturday off work so this gave me a change to arrange a telephone mortgage interview as we are jigging our mortgage about. Some 2 hours 20 mins later it was all done and my head was frazzled despite the bank fella being a thoroughly nice chap and more importantly “The computer said yes” My head was that battered that I had to go down the shops to clear my head and had a can of Tizer for a sugar hit to get me back on track. I dont think I have had a can of Tizer since the late 80’s. I have come along way since then and after my first swig my reaction was this could be great with a double vodka. Told yer I had come a long way.

So Spring is upon us an positive vibes and love is all around, the sunshine is getting warmer, the nights are getting lighter, the clocks soon go forward, Glastonbury is under 100 days away and Liverpool are still in the hunt for the league title.

Peace

Fay x x x x x x x x x x

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