So Wednesday 23rd August 2017 at 00:23 and The KLF aka The Justified Ancients Of Mu Mu (Jam’s) drive down Bold Street in their Ice Cream Van and Drummond and Cauty pop into a book shop to do book stampings of their latest book 2023 a trilogy by The Justified Ancients Of Mu Mu. The KLF are back and back in my home town of Liverpool and sadly I wasn’t even there to witness it.
This was the start of a three day event in Liverpool. Tickets went on sale a whilst back at £100 a go, hardcore KLF loons only and very little details were released. I did get onto the ticket page but decided against it as it would mean some time off work and yes as some of you know I am a self employed mingebag. So looking on Twitter on Wednesday morning somebody tweeted me saying they had a spare ticket. With much mystery around the event I offered £50 for the ticket and would I just be handing £50 for a wristband that was just a wristband ? Any way as it turned out I met a nice fella called Jim who gave me the ticket and I went into the newly named Dead Perch Lounge and exchanged my ticket for the wristband and I had signed up for 3 days of KLF madness and bought a JAM’s t-shirt in the process.
Wednesday 23rd August 2017
My first instruction was for myself and the other 399 other volunteers must be at Constellations. It is at Constellations you will be given your jobs. So with 399 other KLF/JAM’s nutters crammed into Constellations we awaited our job. When receiving our wristbands we were given a list of skills to sign up for. I picked “Good at stopping traffic” The MC Oliver Senton overseen the draw and as each job was announced names were picked from each bucket (one bucket per skill) and early doors the name Neil Fay was called. I was to be a Badger Cull hardcore fan (See below) Six random people had been drawn out of the hat to actually be the members of the newly created band Badger Kull thank fuck I didnt get that job. Nice and easy for me being a social media whore. That was it for the afternoon once I had signed the book with name job title and phone number. I bumped into some old school friends I had not seen since 6th Form in Calderstones had a chat and arranged to meet late on in the evening.
The evenings event was to be held in the Black-E a building I had never been in so killing to birds with one stone. It was to be a debate/hearing on why did The K Foundation Burn A Million Quid. Nerds will know all about this and if you don’t the KLF became the K Foundation and burned £1 million pounds in a remote Scottish hut. I will leave you to discover more if you wish but here is a small video.
So on entering the Black-E we were given a shiny new pound coin ? Five experts gave their views on why the K-Foundation burned £1 million pound. This was then followed by a number of witnesses with Gimpo stealing the show for me. We were then asked to put our pound coin into the bucket of one of the five experts who gave a reason and the winner would be announced. The K-Foundation had put a 23 year silence on this (Ending today 23/08/2017) and if the winner had less than 23% or 85 pound coins then another 23 years of silence would remain. As for me I went for bucket three and the opinion of Tom Hodgkinson who roughly said it was to get rid of the monies of the last piece of work (KLF) so they could have the hunger and desire to start a new project. After the votes where counted and thankfully with over £85 pends worth of votes (Actually it came in as about £135 and 64 pence ??) the winning reason was “a ceremonial denial of excess a magickal annihilation of value that is part of an ancient tradition of subversive weirdness” the view of Annebella Pollen.
So all that remained was for the members of The Jam’s Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty to appear before the hearing and have bestowed upon them the reason they burned £1 million. Drummond just shrugged and Cauty said “yeah OK” and that was that day one over and just the brief to turn up at he bombed out church at 10am in the morning.
Thursday 24th August 2017
So I reported to the bombed out church for 10am (Another building I had never been in) and we were placed into two lines. Each line was to be presented a ripped out page of the new book by Drummond or Cauty. I was presented page 64 by Bill Drummond. Once everybody had a page of the book we had to separate into groups based on chapters. Our chapter was Chapter 4 “Seventeen Kilometres” It was then up to us to create something based on this. We decided to do a sign of 17 KM’s. My bit to the artwork was to walk for 17 minutes and bring something back. I ended up at a card shop in Liverpool 1 and bought two helium balloons with a 1 & 7 to represent the 17.
We were allowed to use anything we found and somebody located a bucket with the £400 pound coins used for voting from the night before. We also had to pick a word from our page. I chose “Warehouse” it was at this point it was lunchtime and I had the luxury of heading home on the bus for lunch and to walk the dogs !! I headed back to the bombed out church for just after 4pm to see how our piece of art was coming on. It was all sorted. Below is the video from our Chapter leader explaining what we had created. I wonder what happened to the £400 in the bucket ??
I wasn’t planning on hanging around too long but ended up watching presentations from all 23 chapters. Some strange, weird and wonderful stuff was created. I can’t even begin to explain on this blog but it was true;y a case of you had to be there. So the final day today and The Last Rites Of Mu begins at 17.30 at The Florrie and I am sure the final day will be as weird and exciting as the first two. Oh and Badger Kull’s first and only performance. I am a hardcore fan.
Fay x x x x x x x x x