Day three of the KLF/JAM’s event “Welcome To The Dark Ages” and with my job just being a Badger Cull hardcore fan today was the day I would finally see the band perform. Due to my rather easy job there was no need for me to turn up at the cracking and beautiful venue of The Florrie in Liverpool until 16:30 and yes being a self employed mingebag I worked on Friday !! On turning up at The Florrie it was time to get my face painted for the rest of the days events and with 399 other mad people my face was painted white and then black eyes and a nose added to resemble a skull and nothing to do with Badger Kull. So we went upstairs into The Grand Hall and I was one of the first in there when the fire alarm went off due to the smoke machine being used. This quick technical hitch was soon sorted and we were sat down with our hymn book ready The Last Rites Of Mu to begin. In came two coffins and a visual and audio delight began. Like the other two days events it was a real “You had to be there” moment to understand what was going on but the was an announcement of a new adventure in undertaking some group chants of Mu Mufication and then a figure in a KLF/JAM’s robe over their head came on as the choir started the hymn (Again the choir were all randomly picked during Wednesdays job allocation Blog HERE ) The figure took their hood down and it revealed Jarvis Cocker he of The Pulp fame who lead everybody in a re-working of Justified & Ancient. Toxteth Day Of The Dead was in full swing.
So we all filled out of the Great Hall and outside The Florrie where The Great Pull North would begin. It was an exercise that involved pulling the Ice Cream van with Drummond & Cauty inside all the way up to by The Invisible Wind Factory for the Funeral Pyre. There were some bemused locals looking at the unfolding events as 400 people with what they thought was Panda face paint got ready to pull an ice cream van. I spoke to some locals. First up a woman in her early 30’s and an older woman around 70. They had no clue who The KLF where and found the whole thing amusing. Next up I spoke to a fella slightly older than me (I am 43) he said “Is that The KLF ice cream van” to which I replied “Yes and the KLF are sitting in it” The fella said “Ahhhh I used to get off me barnet listening to them in the early 90’s” At least one of the local residents of Toxteth knew the score. So off we went with a downhill stretch before we hit the flat Sefton Street and right along past The Albert Dock and down onto some wasteland opposite The Invisible Wind Factory. We were starting to cause some traffic chaos and it wasn’t long before the bizzies (Police) turned up and after some discussion with Gimpo things carried on as they seen we were a happy bunch and it was most probably easier to let us finish the Great Pull North and the ice cream van did go onto the side whenever possible. Using my local knowledge I jumped ahead to go to a shop to get a few can of beer for the rest of the march. I walked into the shop with my death makeup on and got a strange look from a man. Once I got to the till the woman serving said the man was her dad and he thought I was going to hold up the shop. I paid for my bevies and said you haven’t seen nothing yet and to expect rush in a few minutes and all kids of madness to pass the shop.
So along the route at some random point yellow poncho’s were handed out just to add to the madness of the event and mine will deffo be getting packed away for Glastonbury 2019. As we walked past The Albert Dock as if by some kind of synchronicity the low sun which was now dark orange was ideally positioned between two of the waterfront buildings adding a cracking photo opportunity. En route I was also collared as the weatherman from Twitter by Peter Guy who writes a music blog “Get into this” we had a nice chat and I caught up with my mates. There 3 mile pull was now complete and we had reached the wasteland where a 23ft funeral pyre ws ready to have the two coffins loaded on and as the skies darkened over the River Mersey the pyre was lit by Drummond & Cauty and a chant of “Mu medication” went up. I had been sending people some pictures and videos of the events and I think my sister was genuinely worried that I had joined some kind of cult or should that be “Kult” as Drummond and Cauty returned with some Perch we headed into the invisible wind factory to see Badger Kull live.
So having never been in the Invisible Wind Factory it was a good venue I will look to get back to at some point and some great choons were being played. Then at 12am the 4 random people that were given the job as Badger Kull performed “Toxteth Day Of The Dead” and with one song that was that. I managed to hang on until 1am and decided it was time for home. I took off the poncho hoping this would increase my chances of getting taxi as I walked back towards Liverpool city centre. Taxi one went straight past. Taxi Two wound his window down “Where you going” I replied “Aigburth” (A decent fare) to which he said I might come back for me (What the fuck is that on your face there is no way your getting in my cab) A small walk and the third cab glady took me and all that was left was for my niece who was babysitting to get into the cab and for my eldest daughter (13 the next day) to remove my make up !!
So that was that. A weird and wonderful three days. So glad I took part. Happy that my allocated job wasn’t too mad but a little bit of me thinks it would have been good to be on the stage during The Last Rites Of Mu but I am not one for being centre of attention. I gained a poncho but dropped by hymn book en route during the march. I also missed out on the graduation certificate signed by The KLF (Was too busy dancing I think) though today on Twitter somebody kindly offered ti post me a spare one. Though not signed this will look great in my office and bring closure to the three days events. There is so much I have missed about the three days but a quick mention of possibly a Toxteth Day Of The Dead in November 2018 and also plans for a human pyramid to be built involving some ashes of people being put into a brick and a pyramid built. All crazy and all mad. So thats it I graduated from “Welcome To The Dark Ages” and time to move on.
So just 24 hours later where I was part of The Great Pull North I was down the Albert Dock for the Liverpool Folk Festival and watching Henry Priestman headline. Two opposite ends of the cultural spectrum in 24 hours but its great to have chances to do things I enjoy. Badger Kull la. I am a hardcore fan. Well I am off to Mu Mu land though talking to friends and family since the majority think I am in la la land !!
Fay x x x x x x x x x